I am about to pull my hair out after talking on the phone with my parents. My 80 year old Mother has been going blind with macular degeneration for some 10 years now and also has diabetes which causes frequent hypoglycemia attacks which my 80 year old Father does not consider. She says he gets very abusive, inconsiderate and goes in the bathroom and locks the door. She thinks he has dementia. She's very catholic & he's gown tired of the catholic faith. He says hateful things to her when she wants to do prayer and he controls TV causing her not to get to watch her favorite shows on catholic TV. She says she can't see features on faces but knows voices and can see shadows of people's images. I usually end up taking a few drinks to calm down over all the confusion & drama that happens every time we speak. Can anyone relate to what I'm going through. Do you have any techniques on how to say the right things to her on the phone? She seems to want it all her way and he seems selfish and mean all the time.
John, you don't have to decide who is right. On the phone, you listen to mom's woes and Dad's woes and say " hmmm, what is your plan to deal with that?" This situation is of their making. THEY can call their Area Agency on Aging and get advice. Mom could call up VA doctor and report what she thinks. They could buy a second TV. Don't let them make you responsible for what THEY are not willing to change or fix. "Mom is always right" can be countered with "Father knows best". They are sayings meant for the ears of small children...not YOU!
AND go to AA. Today.