My mother is trying to stay living independently after recovering from falling and breaking her hip. She had some sort of psychotic episode that we think led to her falling. Now back at home, we are able to leave her some of the time with an "alert" pendant, and an automated and monitored medication dispenser. She, of course, hates that any sort of monitoring need to happen, but is somewhat willing to accept it as long as it means that she doesn't have to have a "Babysitter" (provided by her 4 adult children and her oldest grandson - who is my son). She started to develop syncope, which doctors in hospital think is due to a sensitivity to Atenolol, so her dose has been cut in half. So far, 48 hours of no dizziness being reported. My question - she's started to verbally attack my son - accusing him of treating her disrespectfully, not wanting him to stay with her, etc. She has exhibited obvious delerium, anxiety, and confusion very recently; so those type of remarks are usually easy to overlook. However, these last few "attacks" are said with a great deal of lucidity, and seem to be truthfull from my son's perspective. He is extraordinarily hurt, as you can imagine - he's 19 and is studying for an emt exam. He's been at her house the entire time she was hospitalized to care for the house, clean it, and care for her animals. He helped to stay with her when she first came home, so she didn't have to accept VNA "strangers". So this kind of new(ish) behavior directed to him is very hard for any of us to take, but especially him. My question - has anyone else had a similar situation happen, and how did you cope with it? I'm recommending that my son get some help from a support group, and perhaps talk to her social worker...
Reduce the number of hours he spends caregiving and bring in outside help if you need to. Even if she balks. Don't sacrifice your son's mental health and future for your mom's. Good luck.
Tell your son to breathe and remember it's not about him. He's doing a beautiful thing and when all is said and done he will be able to put this time in perspective. That being said, it shouldn't lie on his shoulders- caregiver burnout is real and if he needs a break to concentrate on school- the rest of the family needs to help with that.
I also helped with my Grandmom when I was in college- when she finally had to go to a nursing home, I would walk in to find items around the door that she threw at people (no dementia- just frustrated and bedbound). I just had to listen to her frustrations and let her vent, and try to understand where it came from.- Not easy, but worth it!
If possible professional nursing should be hired and put into place with the caretaker relative taking a secondary role or backseat...at least until the situation stabilizes