Long story short...
I hit rock bottom about a month ago after a long period of time (12 years living with my hubby & I) of caring for my mom. (mom is staying with a relative during this time.
Between dealing with major anxiety, panic attacks, stressed out, depression, its been a pretty rough ride. I'm doing better then I was when this started, but I still have a ways to go to get over this hump.
What have you (or anyone you know who's been through this) done to help get through and past something like this?
Please know that I am not pitying or feeling sorry for myself so theres no need for the tough talk kind of answers that I've seen some give when others have hit a low. I just want to know what others have done to get through something similar so I can get life back on track again.
You are so right about better resources needed. If there was (or if the resources that are available were more easily accessible), the problem of caregiver burnout wouldnt be such a common problem.
Keep up the good work!
Its been a rough road to travel and I dont wish it on anyone. One things for sure, better resources need to be made available so that those with the very best intentions towards another arent put at such risk of damaging their own health. Its just not how it should be, and its just not right.
I know of a couple of people who've gone through what you're going through, and I dont know what your circumstances are but theirs was due to lack of help which lead to no respite time for themselves. I hope that you're resting as much as you can right now, eating well and pampering yourself. After 12 years of giving of yourself to another, you definitey deserve quality time for yourself.
I'm not a big poster like a lot are but the advice and just knowing you aren't alone is so very healing. Hugs to you.
At a time like these, where masked crazy men are shooting up movie theatres, it's so comforting to know that there are so many wonderful people in the world who want to help and not hurt.
Take care.
I became co-power of attorney with my sister and that, in itself, helps to be able to have some control over issues that affect my folks. It's important to be able to have a say in what's happening.
It was agreed that we hire enough caregivers to assist both parents throughout the day. I realize I'm fortunate that my parents have the income in order to do this. I'd be interested to find out what others do to get help. I think it's the most important thing of all to get a break on a daily basis.
Another thing I've done is get myself into counseling. I, also, have depression and just taking meds was not enough. I live in a town with a university and fortunately they have a clinic that operates on a sliding fee scale.
I have a good friend that I get together with once or twice a week. She is a wonderful listener and has a lot of empathy. Many times I feel like I've recharged my batteries after one of our visits.
Looking forward to reading everyone else's suggestions!
First, it is really best to get a therapist.
Second, I found journalling to be helpful.
Third, I cry in the shower, in peace
Fourth, sometimes I rip up paper or punch a pillow (per my therapists advice)
Fifth, I dig in the dirt, garden, be as close to nature as possibile, it does not disappoint nor talk back.
Sixth, I take a bath, and play scrabble on my Kindle...or read a magazine, or a chapter of a book.
Seventh, get involved in something that REALLY interests you.
Eighth, it's OK to have a Pity Party...just remember that all parties have a start and end time. (and they usually include cake)
Nine, go for even a short drive, music blaring and scream til you feel a release.
Yoga has helped. I find Lexapro to be helpful with my anxiety and depression. It is not pleasant to withdrawl from so perhaps other meds might help.
If you can do it with out meds, eat really good (I used to drown all in brownies around oh, ten PM) and still do from time to time, but have attempted to clean up my eatting habits by looking at my food as actual fuel. Can I run on lower octane, yes? Can I rev my engine by prepping better, natural foods, indeed I can. It's not a race it's a marathon...Don't beat yourself up, don't be afraid to seek help...If we were intended to go anything alone, we would have never been designed to communicate. I hope you have a good Best Friend, if not, a sweet pup is THE single best friend I have found on Earth (they don't talk back either, they just "get" you, love you and make you feel like a million bucks) Plus, petting a dog lowers the blood pressure.
If it's too much to own a dog, you can volunteer at a shelter or visit a dog park for a good walk with an abundance of pupper-pies.
Oh, and breathing...it may not be a cure all, but if you focus on deep cleansing breaths, you cannot think of anything other than your breathing.
You are doing an AMAZING job...even if it does not feel like it. I'm glad you are getting a break. Plan something, even if it's a slow supper and an afternoon nap. Feel better...you can do this.