Did Hospice rush your loved ones death?

I find it interesting that some of you here are actually admitting that hospice shortens lives. That said, the people that I know who were murdered by them did not want their lives shortened and were not in pain. One was only in pain because she had fallen and broken her arm. So instead of treating her broken arm, they put her to sleep and let her die.

People are being robbed of the last years, months, weeks, days, hours of their lives. No person has a right to steal that from them!

As more proof that hospice is euthanasia, it would enlighten the public greatly to do some research on Florence Wald, the founder of the first hospice in the United states. She was a pro euthanasia advocate. Of course, if a hospice is founded by a nurse who believes in euthanasia, what do you they are going to be doing to relieve the patients' suffering? You guessed it! According to the death culture that has taken over the person is suffering from their life. End the life, end the suffering.

Also the word "euthanasia" comes from the Greek and means "good death". Its this one of hospice's favorite phrases.

For all of you pro euthanasia propionates. Most of you talk like it is the patients choice. Many of you are deceived. Most of the time the patient is not even told what is being done.

My grandma was killed by her doctor. Yes, it is happening outside of hospice as well. Doctor and hospitals are doing it. He suddenly stopped her fluid pill she had been on for years. I won't go into detail. But he killed her purposely by stopping a necessary treatment. This way to euthanasia and discussed on pro euthanasia websites, as well as, withholding food and water and sedated. Which is hospice's main way of killing. Also called the "Third Way".

Also look up the hospice in America timeline.

The "Euthanasia Society of America" was formed in 1938. Its purpose was to get euthanasia legalized in America.

The first American hospice was founded by PRO EUTHANASIA nurse, Florence Wald in 1974.

The "National Hospice Organization" was formed in 1978.

Down through the years, "Euthanasia Society of America" Merged with other "right to die" organizations and entities.

By 2004 "National Hospice Organization (Now called "National Hospice & Palliative Care Organization") merged with the "Euthanasia Society of America" (Then called "Last Acts Partnership"), and became the successor organization to it and all of its predecessors.

The "National Hospice & Palliative Care Organization" IS the "Euthanasia Society of America"!

Timeline:
http://www.hospicepatients.org/euthanasia-soc-of-america-to-natl-hosp-and-palliative-care-org.pdf

Excerpt from 'Dallas News' article:

"Another Norvus employee told agents that in late 2013, Harris sent a text message asking the worker to “administer an overdose of medication to a hospice patient … by increasing the patient’s medication dosage to approximately four times the maximum allowed.”

The employee did not comply with the request because it would have killed the patient, the FBI said."

Surely the key point here is the last sentence. The employee REFUSED to overdose the patient. Refused, moreover, in spite of the pressure one can imagine coming from such a deranged director.

There are bad apples in every barrel and the CEO of the Texas Hospice was clearly one of them.
There are being cuts applied to hospice payments by Medicare/ Medicaid currently in progress.
The use of narcotics at the end of life to provide comfort and pain relief may have the effect of shortening life. This is an inevitable side effect. As others have said do you want your loved one to live longer in agony. Many medications some of which are life preserving have side effects that are unpleasant and unwanted such as chemotherapy - who wants that?
Do Drs deliberately or by neglect kill patients? No one can answer that it is between the Dr and his conscience. The hospice owner was not a Dr so his instructions to the nurses were definitely illegal and the relatives whose loved ones died because of his orders will be glad when he receives his punishment in a court of law. Little comfort to them but at least he can never do it again.
There was a study published in the journal of Pain and Symptom Management that hospice patients live on average 29 days longer than those with similar symptoms that were not receiving hospice care.
There are numerous postings on the internet from professional organizations and private individuals for and against hospice care.
As I have said before caregivers must educate themselves before their loved ones reach the stage where hospice may be appropriate.
When someone says the nurse gave it anyway the option is to call the police if that is the only way to stop it. If you don't agree with a Dr find another one but don't be surprised if you get the same advice and recommendations.
End of life care is not a game of Russian roulette it, is the use of carefully considered options which at times will be wrong - there is no doubt about that. I once took a phone call from young woman who had just visited her dying sister who had just given birth to a baby. She was dying from kidney failure and there was no dialysis fifty years ago. She begged me to give whatever I was allowed to keep her sister unaware. She was greatly relieved when I told her that I had the syringe of heroin in my hand and was about to give it. Yes we used heroin in the UK in those days for severe pain.

Yes, hospice does rush death. I have seen it.

I have seen many comments stating that the hospice wouldn't rush death, because they would lose money. Someone even stated they get paid by Medicare on a daily basis. Not true.

There is a cap on the Medicare hospice benifit. It's right in the Medicare guidelines. You can look it up. It's around $27,000 and some. You think, "oh that would go a long way". No, they can drain that in anywhere from two weeks to two days, by fraudulently billing Medicare for services they have not provided.

Look up the recent story about the Texas hospice boss who was texting execution orders to nurses. It talks about the cap. Also you can see by that story how hospice works. I hate to say all, but I believe the majority of them kill. I would not trust one.

My Mom died recently in hospice care. She has had COPD and was not getting out much anymore. Hospice was called in because she started developing pain in her back - it hurt when she moved - not to do with her breathing. Her doctor put her on fentinal without even examining her - she was not taking anything but tylenol. The opiod didnt help her pain which came and went as before. The doc didnt seem to have any answers (all this on the phone to my brother - still no exam) and ordered hospice for pain management. Hospice denied that it was end of life treatment, but switched out her bipap and concentrators to older machines from their company and took mom off some of her meds. they filled up syringes with morphine and left them on the kitchen counter unlabelled, even though she was allergic to codeine derivatives. The nurse stopped in once a week and talked to mom. Hospice refused to use a pulse oximeter and did nothing but encourage mom to keep using the fentynal even though mom said she hadnt had pain and wanted to get off it. The drugs seemed to take a toll on mom - she was tired and had much more trouble catching her breath. She had chills and couldnt get warm. Hospice's answer was more drugs. There are FDA warnings for opiods not to be given to people with lung problems. Mom finally had enough of the pain and demanded to go to a hospital. The hospice nurse convinced her that she could go to the inpatient hospice facility - yes, they would do xrays and PT and figure out what was causing the pain. They did nothing (no blood tests or exams or xrays) but make her sicker by giving her morphine, which they had to then give dexamethasone to relieve. Once the morphine wore off they saw she was fine (except for her lower back pain) and told her to leave. Before she left, Mom noticed the frequent deaths that were ceremoniously happening there ( 3 a day) and became upset. She wasnt looking for end of life - just fixing her pain. the gave her a strong sedative (haldol) , increased her fentynal and she went home. Back home Mom's legs went out from under her - she was taking the prescribe hadol and increased opiod. The hospice nurse came and upped the regimin giving her haldol and now methadone until she died that day. Sedatives are contraindicated for people with breathing problems as are opiods. Haldol has a black box warning that it causes death in elderly people. I was away while all this transpired, and my siblings trusted the nurse. Please do not fall into this trap. It is one thing if a loved one is very sick and wants to die; but some hospice patients like my mom have been coaxed, pushed and misunderstood. My mom was sick, but she wasn't dying until hospice - her back was in spasms for inactivity, inflammation, or a spinal fracture. She was 82.

Can anyone tell me why I am not getting e-mail notifications on any of the topics I am following anymore? They stopped about 4 weeks ago. Strange

Please note that Hospice uses 5-15mg every 4 hours of morphine.   To euthanasia someone, Hospice would need to use 200 mg, and no Doctor would ever write a script for that huge amount.

People will die on the same time table whether they use Hospice or not.

Without Hospice that patient is in terrible pain as it is not pleasant when the body starts to shut down.  With Hospice, again note same time table, the patient is more relax, more comfortable, etc.   If it were me, please let me have Hospice.

The function of Hospice is to alleviate the pain of critically ill patients through the massive and sustained use of opioids and thus facilitate the dying process. This applies even to those patients not suffering from terminal illnesses. Hospice is a government sponsored euthanasia program to accelerate the dying process.

Yes! My brother just died and there was no doubt it was a morphine/Ativan induced death. The day his wife (a nurse) instructed the doctors to start morphine I was present when his vitals were taken. His b/p was 135/63, his temperature was 98.3, his pulse 70. He had been been in the hospital 3 days for edema of his legs and cellulitis that was responding to Lasix and antibiotics. The plan was for him to go to a skilled nursing facility for rehab after discharge from the hospital. His wife insisted that he go to in-patient hospice. Now...he and his wife had not lived together for the past eight (8) years. In fact, she lives with another man, in another state. But, my brother had kept all of his affairs in her name so she would be "well taken care of". (his words) He did not understand what hospice was about and I asked her to explain it to him. When he expressed that he thought he could go home for a while and live a little longer, she looked at him and shouted, "you're dying, you've been dying...even telling him how long he had left to live". I left the hospital that evening for the night and returned the next morning to find him medicated with morphine...hecould no longer communicate. His wife kept insisting to the staff that he needed more. Her daughter (who is also a nurse) said twice to her, "mom, why are you pushing the morphine? why don't you let him come around and see if he wants to talk". It was awful to watch. I left that evening to go home and his wife call around midnite to say that he died. I can't get this out of my mind. I saw it, lived it and still can't believe it. Had he passed due to his health issues that would be one thing. Had he been in such pain that he needed morphine, that would have been acceptable. I would not have wanted him to suffer. But neither was the case. His right leg did hurt if he moved it, but they were giving him oxycodone prn and it was doing the job. I need someone to tell me...how is something like this allowed to happen?

So you would rather have your family member who is Dying, lay in bed, in severe Pain, Linger for days and days on end, they themselves, wishing to die, and just put an end to it, but there's that One family member, holding out til the bitter end, looking for someone else to blame, because They Cannot wrap their heads around losing their Loved One!

No Way, I know, I've been there, day after day, watching my own Dear Mother suffer, she needed those drugs to help her with the Severe Pain, and if it took snowing her into Oblivion, I choose Oblivion! Just as she Chose Oblivion! I Loved her with all of my heart, just as my 5 Siblings also did, and Thank God, we were all on the same page, as we did not want to see her Suffer. Bring on those Narcotics, say your Goodbyes and even everything else you wish to say, because sadly, there are only a few states in the country that honor Death With Dignity, and until more states enact these sorts of laws, Hospice, and the Angels that run those organizations, are the only hope we have in giving our Loved ones the pain relief and a dignified death, to the best of their abilities!

Did I want to lose my Mom? NO, did I want to see her suffer? H*LL NO!

Unfortunately, there is only one course of action, and if you are proactive, speak with the Hospice Dr's, Coordinators, and the Nurses, find out exactly what the prognosis is, and what the best options are, to give your LO the best and most peaceful and most comfortable death. I choose Hospice, but you do not have to choose this route either.


It's Sad, It is Sad, all of it, losing someone who you are not ready to lose, horrible, but as adults, you have to let them go, end of, Period, as it's not fair to prolong a life, only for your own selfish longings.

I miss my Mom, everyday, every minute, and now my family is currently faced with another family member on Hospice, and he's only in his 40's, has 3 daughter's, 21, 13, and 12, who are facing the loss of their father, his wife, has been grieving his passing for over 2 years now, as he's been through clinical trial, after clinical trial. It is near the end for him, the family is a wreck, my poor Niece, my heart breaks for her right now, her trying to hold it all together for her children.

Thankfully in the state of Washington, they have passed the Death With Dignity laws, and he has chosen this route, to end the suffering, his own, and that of his family. Hospice is struggling to manage his pain and the other dreadful side affects of the 2 types of Cancer that is killing him, ever so slowly. His decision is his own, a very personal decision, and a dificult one, but his time left, dealing with his own pain, and then having to watch his children suffer emotionally right along side is Too, Too much!


I respect his decision, and pray that this families suffering ends soon, so that they can all get on to the healing and processing of the grief and loss. He's ready, he wants this all to end, it's a huge sacrifice he's making, but he is close to death either way, but this way, he is in control of his own destiny, and I believe it's the right thing to do In This Case. As every case is different. We as a family, are all supporting his decision. Still, it's very sad. Please pray for my family in this difficult time? Thank you.

Dear Mr Panzer,
I have visited your Hospice Patient Alliance Website and am very impressed by the information that is shared there. It must have taken many hours of research for dedicated volunteers to assemble.
The opening statement on the purpose of hospice and the aims of care are totally in alliance with my own strongly held views.
However there is so much information that I do not have the many hours required to read it that I was only able to skim some of the articles.
As I have previously written there is a great deal of difference between hospices that are not for profit who must abide by Medicare/ Medicaid rules if they are to receive funding from those entities and for profit hospices who rely on private pay so a bed is better not occupied by a Medicare/Medicaid patient. Medicare /medicaid pays a hospice a daily amount which is often not sufficient to pay for the patient's needs. Not for profits have to raise money and often receive grants from such organizations as The United Way to continue to operate. Their rates of pay for all staff is way below what those individuals could earn in a hospital setting. There is mythe that RNs go to work for for Hospice when they are not good for anything else. An absolute untruth. The nurses I worked with were highly trained individuals following a specific calling where they felt they could do the most good. Many nurses in hospitals these days have to work 12 hour shifts and end up totally exhausted not able to give of their best and prone to mistakes.
Cutting costs is not just something Medicare tries to do it is a rampant practice throughout the health care industry and it not driven by greedy Drs who are mostly employees and receive a salary like everyone else and don't get to charge the fees seen on hospital bills.
Hospitals cut corners just like every other large organization these days by reducing quality which means nurses have too many patients to care for, and the kitchen uses a lot of processed food such as dried eggs and potato powder.
The healthcare industy is run by accountants whose only interest is making the greatest profit and many patients especially the elderly suffer by this practice.
It is not hospices that are promoting the early demise of our elderly loved ones it is the whole system that denies proper care and maintenance to our vulnerable people long before they become hospice eligeable.
Yes I agree the welfare system is full of abusers but on the other hand many people who are severly disabled have to wait many years to obtain disability and face many years on waiting lists for affordable houseing or even in my area waiting lists before they can get on a waiting list.
The purpose behind your organization seems to be to protect unsuspecting people mosty the elderly as they have the highest death rate is extremely laudable but the problems go deeper than hospice abuse which I don't deny does exist. However on this forum we most frequently hear of relative abuse not usually by the caretaker but by circling vulture relatives.
On the subject of assisted suicide I have an open mind as there is such potential for abuse however if my life became unbearable I would like to have that choice. I do not feel we have the right to judge others that is only up to God.
Please continue with the work you are doing it is very valuable but I also think it is very important not to frighten people away from the benefits of good hospice care. No is a very powerful word and patients and family must be encouraged to use it when they feel uncomfortable with anything medical that is being done however persuasive the healthcare provider can be.

altobert

I'm so sorry for your loss.

You don't want the drugs? You do want the drugs?
You do want a humane end, like animals get? You don't want a humane end, you want your loved one dying without benefit of pain relief or anxiolytics? It's so hard to know what you do want!

You feel that strongly that the medical pharmaceutical and palliative care sectors are evil leeches, here's another idea. Do without them, then. Good luck.

What Hospice and sometimes your OWN relatives, will not tell you, when signing your love one into Hospice. My mom, passed away, in 2009, her death was hastened while in the care of (Vitas-HOSPICE) (Pembroke Pines Florida).

Unfortunately, animals have much louder Advocates for inhumane treatment against them (although they’re not human). Why is the abuse of animals a much more sensitive issue in America, and more important then inhuman, treatment of real human beings. Specifically the Terminal, the Sick and the Elderly?

These groups of people are targeted and funneled into Hospice (the silent killer) to cut Medicare cost.

The public has a right to know the truth about the (silent) practices used by the Hospice Organizations working in and through, our Hospitals, and Nursing Homes working in conjunction with Medicare.

Medicare’s sole agenda is to cut cost by any means necessary. Medicare’s idea of cutting cost is referring your love ones (the elderly, the terminal, and sick) to Hospice. Where the patient supply of medication is cut off. All except the morphine/methadone used to administer a quiet, rapid exit into eternity (someone is saving on their water bill as well because they are dehydrating their patients and not turning to the I.V drip).

Medicare’s idea of cutting cost is to withhold administering medication to the feeble (including blood thinners which prevent blood clotting for non mobile patients), diabetes medication is withheld, cholesterol, and high blood pressure meds are withheld too.

This is Medicare’s idea of cutting cost – writing addictive prescriptions, over medicate you, and then abruptly drop you from the excessive synthetic drugs; they hooked your body on. Then down the line tell you, they can not longer do anything else for you. By now your visits to the emergency room and hospital are so frequent (from the side effects of lifetime synthetic drugs) you know the staff including security. Occasionally you may get a nurse who will actually sympathize with you.

Written by-

Ron Panzer (President of Hospice Patient Alliance)

I was unable to attend my father's death as I am too far away but my sister, who is a care aid, said it is not ativan that they use, small doses is what they tell you, and within a week he went from talking on the phone to me to completely unresponsive and gone. No intravenous, no wetting the lips. Nurses were very 'nice' but do as little as possible and move them out like cattle sounds to me...maybe because we weren't paying top rate. Just doesn't feel right. Just one experience.

All my mom's battle ended on the 23 of Jan 2017. I am relieved but sad at the same time.

I have a lot to deal with and I am sure that eventually get past all of the emotions.

Zythrr, your so welcome! Aniversary dates are often so difficult to handle. I still get teary-eyed when the Aniversary of my parents deaths occur (and at happy memories too!), and it's been 13 and 14 years now. I still miss them terribly! My suggestion is to do something nice, like placing flowers on her graveside, and then go out and do something celebratory to remember her by! If you are religious, you could go and light a candle at your church, and say a few prayers, or take a nice walk in your favorite place, and even go through your pictures, remembering happier times. These things take time, so they aren't so darn hard, but eventually they do become easier to bare.

I'm finally to the point that I remember mostly the happier times, and not those last couple of the difficult years, when they both were so I'll, and everything was about their failing health.

Remember, she wouldn't want you to be hurting so! You take care now!

staceyb

Thank you so much again. I'm glad to have connected with you as well. A year ago on this date, 26th, mom was transferred from the hospital to the first of 3 NHs for rehab after a hospital stay. I'm glad you had the support system in place to help you. Take care of yourself.

Sue C thank you for posting your experiences as an on call nurse for hospice. They absolutely mirror my own working for a small non-profit hospice.
I have long felt that the large hospice "businesses" do not uphold the hospice spirit when money making is the main goal.
I have been retired now for 9 years and before that had the job of full time on-call for 10 years.
In the late 50s I worked in London at the time Dr Cecily Saunders was starting the modern movement. I once escorted a patient to a hospice facility and at that time it was very similar to long term geriatric wards, not at all like modern hospice houses.
Naturally I don't agree with many of the posters on this particular thread but I do feel every one should do their due diligence before signing up their loved one.

For those of you who don't know, I'm a per-diem (on call) hospice nurse. At our hospice we have weekly nursing visits for stable (dying) patients and we also provide "crisis care" which is having a nurse stay with the patient for 8 hour shifts (24 hrs+), IF the patient has out of control symptoms, constant pain, constant vomiting or severe uncontrollable shortness of breath. That's my job, getting the patients to a comfortable point.) Then the family can resume the care.
(Not all hospices offer this service.) Once the patient has leveled out, they go back to weekly (or more often) visits.

I had to go into the (hospice) office yesterday to complete mandatory annual training and review. While I'm not able to disclose the name of the hospice I work for, I'm finding out that all hospices are not created equal. They do not have the same stringent rules and regulations that we abide by. Some of the computer classes that I watched gave examples of how other (unnamed) hospices functioned. I was really surprised at the breaking of known rules and regulations. (This is the only hospice I've ever worked for and I assumed that we all operated the same.)
I should have known when the largest hospice (1000+ patients) in San Diego county had their doors (forcibly) closed due to many different infractions. Everyone was shocked. It never dawned on me that someone would forge a signature, not show up for a shift (and chart that they did!!!), or any of a number of infractions. The leaders at my hospice use these examples as how NOT to function. We are expected to know what is right and wrong and we are tested at least annually, checked and reviewed by our supervisors, peers and patients/families. We have a zero tolerance policy for any infraction. It's too bad that other dishonest companies exist but we learn from their mistakes so we don't commit any with our patients.

I see now why some of the families have written about their bad experiences.
Please check with the Better Business Bureau, Google Medicare-hospice, Yelp, hospice regulatory board, etc.
I'm sure there is a site that would list ratings of hospices or infractions committed by them in your area. (I'd look it up myself but, when I leave this page, it deletes everything I've written!) Do not sign up with a hospice that offers you "gifts" (TV's, trips, etc) to sign up your family member. ( That should be a red flag!), or that didn't thoroughly explain every facet of hospice to you. Medicare has VERY strict guidelines for how hospices operate. They would be a good site to visit. "Medicare/hospice coverage" probably would get you some good information. Beware of any who forces you to do something you don't want to do. You are the expert on your family member and we take our cues from you.
Investigate, don't just take the hospitals' word, or a social worker's word. Hopefully you will wind up with a high quality hospice that will meet your and your departing family members ' needs.
Respectfully,
Sue

Veronica91 it has been tough and to make sure that my siblings feel the same way i do.

Atolbert I am so glad you have found the strength to follow your Mom's wishes.
That is the most important thing to keep in the forefront of one's mind.
What did he/she want or would have wanted?
It is about the person who is about to leave this world not those who must stay behind and grieve.

To all who have posted here. Thanks for the insight on Hospice and morphine. Not everyone's experiences have been bad. My mom has been on hospice for almost a month, here at home with her family. The nurse visits twice a week and the home health aide does as well. They have been very informative on all that is going to happen. The Care package with the morphine is for the pain and comfort to both the patient and the care giver. My mom would gasp for air prior to the issuance of the morphine. Now she does not. knowing my mom as i did, she would not want to live in the bed and have people take care of her, she like to go out and do things and now she can't, she is unresponsive for the past week and i believe that we are close to the event. This has been along drawn dying process since her stroke in Sept. 2016, she had the forethought to have advanced directives so there would be no doubt what her intentions are. it has been tough to follow the directives but when you know somebody really well, you do what you can to honor their wishes.

Hi I jus stumbled upon this and I did question myself about my dad's death. It took me almost a year to get to my senses and think clearly. I recently felt as if I shouldn't Hav put my dad in the hospice

LoriA, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Mom, I do know how hard it is, as I've lost both of my wonderful parents, taken too young, with still so much zest for life. My Mom was on Hospice too.

May I ask you, what your Mom's ailments were, that required her to be on Hospice? It's such a shame, you losing your Son, while your own Mom was so sick, nobody should ever be faced with such a loss, I am so sorry!

What you do have to do is quite blaming yourself. Your Mom met the Hospice criteria, or she would not have been admitted to their care. That you feel to blame for her untimely passing could not be further from the truth. Your Mom had a very bad illness, that required her to take potent medications, perhaps for pain, and of course you wished to keep her as pain free as possible, right?

You could never have given her a dosage, that would have brought her death on any sooner, than her illness would have taken her in the first place, and what you did do, was treat her ailments, in the manner in which the Hospice Dr's recommended. God takes people in his own time, not on anyone else's timetable. Please, never think that!

We all go through the different stages of grief in our own way, and the Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda's, often come into play in those stages, and in no particular order.  So at this point, the very best thing you Should do for yourself (besides joining us here), would be to join some grief counseling. It will help you to understand how to address your different stages of grief, and how to go on in life, without your Mom, Your best friend in it. It takes time.

God bless, and I hope you come back, and share your experience and your healing process. We all learn from one another.

i thought i was alone in my feeling very pressure to keep giving the meds so often every 2 hrs at a high doses of 2 drugs. im helping them they need me to be strong and helping them die. i didnt think she was ready i fought until my 1st born son died suddenly. i still cant deal w/ my son,at the same time my mother 67 yrs young she was Noreen Anderson she suffered they made me kill my mom is so dramatic??? im not looking for anything but answers others maybe can relate. its too hard to put in a message im lori an only child no dad just mom and me so were very close more then most. grateful to you what who can help me.

Zythrr, you are Welcome! Losing a parent is a terrible time, and we all have different experiences with it.

I know that I am one of the lucky ones. Both of my parents were dying for a long enough time, that we (my 5 close siblings), had a chance to come to grips with it. There was nothing we could do, to prevent the outcome, no matter how we tried.

I believe knowing that, and having the support system that I had, made all the difference.

I wish more people had that.

It doesn't mean that it wasn't a very rough journey at times, but we always had each other.

Take care, and I'm glad to have had the chance to connect with you, over some very unfortunate circumstances, but we all are HERE, for each other!

staceyb

Thank you so much for your post. It has really helped, Bless you. I'm sorry for the loss of your mom as well. You're exactly right, it is very hard.

I'm not as angry as much as very disappointed. There were 3 nurse "angels" who were really sweet and caring. The doctors and his staff were the "cold" ones. I understand, not getting emotionally involved, because of the risk of burn out. Still..

I know the survival rate from Sepsis, especially for older people, is not that good, but the "pressure" to move her to a facility where he visited was too much.  One of his staff was actually "pissed" that one, she could not make the choice for her, and second, the choice that was made, even though he could still visit was for only 30 days after which she could choose again where she wanted to go.
Like I posted on cdnreader's thread , being angry you're only hurting yourself, not the person you're angry with. The best antidote for anger is to forgive, which is what I am doing in this case. Needless to say, trust in healthcare is gone

Thank you so much again. You've helped more than you'll ever know. 
Take care as well.

Zythrr, I can't begin to understand the intense anger and sadness you feel about the end of life decisions that were made by the Drs, for you Mom, you and your family. I definitely feel the pain in your posts. I am sorry that you didn't get the compassion that was so needed in your situation.

From the sounds of it, your Mom was on life support, and that's never a good thing. It sounds as if the intention was there, that if your Mom survived being taken off life support, then Hospice would be brought in to help her through to the end of her life, but she unfortunately did not make it after it was stopped. A decision that You didn't necessarily agree with or completely understood yourself.

It is so Painful, to lose our Mom's. It's been 13 years for me and at times, the pain of not having her here overwhelms me to this day. My Mom was so young, only 74, and she didn't deserve to get such a wicked Cancer, such a painful disease, that cut her life short. I'm sure you feel the same.

I'm so sorry for your loss! Not everything makes sense, when it comes to death and dying. It is often so completely out of our hands. Like you, I wish I still had my Mom by my side. Life just doesn't always make sense.

You take care.

I cannot for the life of me even understand why this thread, which apparently only feeds people who are in denial of very sick, old people, dying.....continues....

Do you think I am rude or dismissive of your grief???.....No....I absolutely feel your grief and sorrow.....I have felt it many, many times myself.....BUT GET REAL....older, very sick people die....as do we all, eventually....

How YOU deal with it reflects only on you....READ: Dr. Atul Gawande's excellent book: "Being Mortal"

And, I speak as someone whose lovely, very elderly Mom has just passed, very peacefully, after 6 months on hospice.....no big rush to "kill her", there....

I also speak as someone who was widowed very young, very suddenly, in a country half way across the world. My husband was granted a very great honor....a Hindu cremation.....I am not going to share 1 second of that with you. Those are my very personal memories. But....I will say this.....

As my husband's service concluded, a little donkey wagon approached....it was decorated in ribbons and feathers and bore the next recipient's of this priest's good intentions: it was a wedding ceremony, and quite lovely, and it, still to this day, makes me feel hopeful......about the circle of life....