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I written to the admins about this obnoxious person. You all should too.
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Veronica, you are so polite to this jack**. Well, I'm not going to be.
zytrhr,
How in the h*ll can you say that, "Medicine is now all about money, and how much can be made off each patient." Are you nuts? Have YOU been to a doctor lately? Maybe for lab tests or a preventative flu shot? I've had it with your ridiculous remarks. Yes, medical care costs a lot in the U.S. but we have the most advanced technology in the world. We SAVE millions of lives through treatment for existing diseases and/or prevention of acquiring new diseases. Yes, costs are high, but the technology to create new drugs, treatments and machines to keep YOUR butt healthy is expensive. People are not dying, they are living. There is no price on your or your loved one's health.

What insensitive moron would state, "Hospice in your mom's case is probably to come around as little as possible, but still enough to be able to bill Medicare. They probably feel your mom is going to die anyway, so why bother." ?
DOES THAT MAKE ANYONE FEEL BETTER? DOES IT? Are you trying to make the hurting family member feel like cr*p? Well, you're doing a good job of it!!!
You are an ignoramus and should be banned from posting on this board. There are wonderful people here, trying to do their best in an impossible situation. Go find another board to invade with your hateful remarks.
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Stressed please ignore everything that zytrhr writes, she is a very negative person and her remarks are always hurtful. People have asked her to stop but she persists. You don't need this right now. Hugs
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stressed123

I'm sorry you're going through this. Hospice in your mom's case is probably to come around as little as possible, but still enough to be able to bill Medicare. They probably feel your mom is going to die anyway, so why bother.
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skyhigh

I'm so sorry about your mom, and now it seems your FIL may be next to go. Medicine is now all about money, and how much can be made off each patient.
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At this moment my father-in-law is in the hospital, at age 93, he is a very difficult patient. He is literally out of his mind. Blind, deaf, and now confined to a bed. The doctor has given him drugs to calm him down, but they only seem to make him worse. He tugs and pulls at his IV's, pulls at all his tubes etc. He does have pneumonia in one lung.
My wife is a small woman and it takes two people to hold him down. It seems the doctor don't know what to do with him. We know he wants to die, he has told us many times he ready to go.
My wife is worn out, her sister and aunt have been setting with him day and night, but every day seems to get worse. They have not talked about hospice so far, but if he returns to assisted living he will be put into the nursing home.
I sometimes wonder if we have come as far in medicine as we think we have.
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Skyhigh I am so sorry you you had to watch your mother endure such a horrible death. After such an experience I never say you should have done this or that but this time I will not say it but do say there was a lot that could have been done to ease this misery. Certainly nothing could have been done about the melaoma but the pain is another story.You are in no way to blame so don't feel you should have done anything but I hope there are people out there who do regret their actions in not caring about you Mom.
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My mother suffered from melanoma cancer, it had spread throughout her entire body, The day I took her to the hospital for the last time, I carried her in my arms and told my sister she'll never leave the hospital. It was obvious she was on her way to dying. Five days later she died.
I ask the doctor if they could just relieve her pain and suffering and let her die with dignity. No, they said there was nothing they could do but let nature take it course. We sat by her side and watched her slowly die, it was a horrible death. She drew up into the fetal position, and slowly wither away.
In this case, I believe there should be a law allowing the family to decide on assisted death. But, there must be no doubt the person will never recover. Watching someone die a slow painful death is very hard on the family.
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I am definitely overwhelmed. Although my Mom is at a not for profit SNF I don't know if the attached Hospice people operate that way. Hospice people are never there, just the nurses at the facility. It's a good place but they are so stuck on one course of action that it's actually killing my Mom. Using Xanax to "calm" her, but it's causing pseudodementia, memory loss, and hallucinations, crying and it's awful! So they give her more to knock her out. I'm so stressed. I want to remove her and bring her home but I can't physically manage the diapers and bathing. Hospice said they visit 2 maybe 3 times a week and that leaves just me. I don't know what to do :(
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We don't have the kind of big business hospice 'machine' in Canada that you have in the USA, I was amazed at the number of providers that came up when I was doing a simple search for another poster. I think the rules for funded hospice care complicate the issue and too often there seems to be an assumption on the part of many hospice providers that anyone admitted is at death's door if not already actively dying. When everything moves along at a lightening pace family is too overwhelmed to make informed decisions, and any objections become pointless when you find yourself in a situation like Stressed123. I'm sorry :(
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From this original question, Did Hospice hasten your loved one's death..Absolutely. They absolutely did. If your loved one is in terrible pain and it's time to let them go, and you want drugs for them, the Hospice is the way to go.
If you've been told they have an illness and probably have 6 months or less, think hard. They take away anything that will help them to enjoy their life, like excercise, walking, any meds besides 'comfort only'. They bring on morphine and opiates and Ativan, etc, yes, even when they're not in pain. The nurse said these words to me, "Hospice doesn't hasten death, but by giving these amounts of drugs we can suppress the respiratory system, bring on pneumonia and other problems that will."
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Did anyone bring up the case in canada where the nurse killed 8 elderly people with drugs? Were they hospice patients? It is a long term care facility, but I mean hospice treating the patients there.
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Thanks jinglebts and SueC1957 for wishing us well. SueC1957 I am printing the list you gave us and bringing it with me. Will be in touch.Luv. Me
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Oops, I forgot to answer your question, "How long did it take your father to be able to swallow again?" Cher, as I remember (20 years ago), it was immediately. He'll have to go easy the first couple of days as his throat will be sore from the procedure. (they put rings down the throat to forcefully 'stretch' it open. (At least that's how they did it then.) But after the first couple of days, he'll be good to go! (In my experience.)
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126Cher,
I'm glad I could help. Having all the information (notes) ready for the doctor will make your visit flow much more smoothly. The info. I would have ready would be;
1. How long has your husband had this problem? Did it come on gradually or quickly?
2. What foods/liquids (if any) 'trigger' the throat to close up? Is it triggered by the 'temperature' of foods/liquids? Are denser foods (steak,etc) harder to swallow?
3. Where (in the esophagus) does the food 'hang up'? (Point to the area).
4. Are liquids easier to get down or the same difficulty as food?
5. How much weight has he lost since this problem started?
6. Has he taken any medications for it and were they helpful?
7. Any history of this happening before this episode?
8. Have a list of all the medications he takes or just throw all his med bottles in a plastic ziploc bag and take them with you.
Take any other pertinent information you can think of (history of smoking, severe gastric reflux disease or peptic ulcer, etc.) along with 'home remedies'.
Hopefully the GI doc will have access to his previous medical records but be prepared to state what medical problems he's had in the last 10-15 years.
Good luck tomorrow. 😊 🙏🏼
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126Cher: Good luck tomorrow. My dad was an alcoholic too: he developed liver cancer.
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Thank you so much SueC1957 for taking time to write. It is a big help. We are seeing a GI Doctor at 1pm on the 26th of Oct. will tell him all about what is going on and thank you for the heads up on the Doctors who just are in it for the money. I am sure a lot are. You hit the nail on the head when you said his stomach is smaller because of the weight loss. He keeps saying that he is getting filled up fast. Even with the little bit he does keep down. Now I know why my alcoholic uncle could not swallow at the end of his life.
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126Cher,
My dad was an alcoholic and, as time went on, his throat started tightening up. He was in his late 70's. It's very common with alcoholics to have esophageal strictures (tightening of the throat) in the later stages of alcoholism due to the acids causing scarring. Food and water started getting 'caught or hung up' about half way down. He would eat very slowly and chew real well but it was no use. It was just a matter of time before it came up.
The first GI doc he saw did many dilations to his esophagus, about 1 a month for 6 months. I later came to see that the doctor was in this for the money and he had my dad come back every month for a dilation to bill the insurance. He would not sufficiently widen the esophagus, knowing full well that he'd have to come back, so he could make more money.(Dirty b****ard) I finally questioned him on it, he told me if I didn't like his style, I didn't need to come anymore. I was recommended to another one and he was great. Only one treatment and it was done. I think he also had some kind of injection in his throat during his procedure that also helped. It was a blessing to find this GI doc. IF esophageal strictures-(not from alcoholism) is your husbands problem, there's a very good chance that he will swallow fairly normally again. He will be sedated and it will be an outpatient procedure. He will need to be driven home. The next few days he'll need to eat soft foods that are easy to swallow. Healthy shakes and smoothies with nutritional additives can help. If he has lost a lot of weight, his stomach will be smaller, so don't expect him to be able to eat the large quantities like he used to.
All in all it was a God send. Good luck to you both.
No, my dad didn't have cancer.
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SueC1957...How long did it take for your Father to start to swallow again after the procedure? Did he have some type of cancer. ( My husband has pancreatic) or did his esophagus just start to narrow because of his age? My husband is now 67. How old was your Dad? Stressed 123 please keep us informed about the progress of your Mother. Prayers sent to you.
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Best wishes for the appointment! I hope you gets some answers and info that help. I'm no more on top of it than you, as you will see there are just some days when your rollercoaster is at the top of the loop and some days when it's at the bottom. I'm having a real go round with 'an over zealous nurse' that I posted about. Today the coaster was up, tomorrow, who knows. Hang in there!
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Thanks all!! On Wednesday have an appointment for him with a gastroenterologist. ThanksSueC1957. FrequentFlyer, I was afraid his pancreas was trying to shut down his body.Stressed123....yes everyone thinks differently. As you make 7 phone calls with the same question to 7 different people and each one gives you a different answer....Sigh Stress123 you sound on top of it.
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Are there still people reading this post to comment about Hospice rushing a death? I am one week into Hospice with my mom. Something I'm learning, each person working for the Hospice has their own opinions and agenda, so each patient's experience may be different. I'm finding that it actually depends on who is working which shift. Does that sound strange? Took me awhile to realize this. One nurse is all about seeing mom do her best with only offering comfort measures when they're needed, another nurse continually talks about bringing in the 'big guns' to get it over with. I realized, yet again, that no one can do something TO you unless you allow it. If you feel uncomfortable with a medication or a specific nurse, speak up. You are the advocate for someone. Remember their wishes and try to do what you feel they would want. It's not a time to be a victim and let someone take over if you're not comfortable. But if you're struggling with knowing your loved one wouldn't want to live this way, then have a conversation about that too. My mom has multiple nurses and they don't even seem to agree with each other. It's up to me to say which direction to take. Never easy.
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126Cher,
This is taken from; Verywell website,
"An esophageal stricture is a gradual narrowing of the esophagus, which can lead to swallowing difficulties. The strictures are caused by scar tissue that builds up in the esophagus.
When the lining of the esophagus is damaged, scarring develops. When scarring occurs, the lining of the esophagus becomes stiff. In time, as this scar tissue continues to build up, the esophagus begins to narrow in that area."

My father had this problem to the point of only being able to swallow liquids. He had multiple 'dilations', a widening of the esophagus by a doctor by putting a tube with progressively larger rings down the throat under anesthesia. It widens the esophagus so food can pass through. Please get your husband to a gastroenterologist who can do the procedure. Most probably he will be able to swallow food again.
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Katie, it is not a hard rule that everyone who is dying refuses food, just as not everyone has cheyne-stokes breathing or pain or terminal agitation or any of the other symptoms that we hear mentioned in the literature. Very few of us ever witness even one death in today's society, but doc's nurses and first responders who have seen it many times can often spot the signs that it is approaching with eerie accuracy.
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This claim about eating seems to me to be not true. My Dad ate a full meal just hours before his passing. Between his heart giving out and his breathing difficulties...we do know know what it was (maybe both). But, he had been that way for a long time. Maybe it was a heart attack....but...he didn't lack for willingness and ability to eat.
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Cher, so sorry to read about your hubby and what he is going through. Has he been checked for acid reflux? I have that issue, and food does feel like it is stuck in my throat and wants to come back up. I need to pay more attention when I eat and take smaller bites, then drink a bit of water after each bite or so. Does hubby ever say that his esophagus feels like it is on fire? If so, Tums work pretty good.

You probably could supplement his food with Ensore... or try Carnation Instant Breakfast mix which is used in milk. I had to use that to help me gain weight after a surgery.

I also had heard at a cancer support group that chemo can make the mouth sore, thus more uncomfortable to eat.
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Freqflyer, thanks for posting your last comment on food. Have not posted on this site for a long time but at my wits end. I don't know what to think about anything anymore. I want to believe in something but I don't know how. My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer May 6th 2014. Will never forget the day. Now for the past Month or maybe a little more he has had trouble eating or swallowing (a little) but now he is losing weight and is eating less and less. His doctor claims it is functional and not because the cancer is spreading. He just had his 60th Chemo treatment on Tuesday (Oct.18th,2016) plus a scan to make sure and determine why food is getting stuck before it goes into his stomach. It does go down the throat but gets stuck and than comes back up. It takes him forever to eat a few bites. If he eats fast the food he does eat comes back up. If he eats slowly something loosens up and it goes down. Because of this he has lost a lot of weight (165 to about 135) in a short period of time. My question is: What are the steps when the body starts to reject food? He gets full very fast and is exhausted most of the time. Last year at this time he was eating just fine.
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carol567

I'm sorry for your loss as well. Was the hospice your sister was at at the hospital or somewhere else? Good luck with the hospital records, you may or may not be surprised at what you see.
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fregflyer

It's nice Hospice did you right. Some, may feel otherwise.
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staceyb

Under the circumstances, it was nice that your experience was not too bad; that's not the case for others. In some instances hospital will make the choice for Hospice. By the time loved ones find out, it is too late to do anything.. I speak from personal experience. In my case, head of ICU said my mom was dead when she was readmitted back to ICU.
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