I have one.
I am caring for someone with dementia. She gets "inside" the TV & participates... in a QVC PROGRAM. She was clapping, laughing, telling the ladies on TV how beautiful they were... Asked me to come & say hi.. Wave at them, which I did....
Too cute and so funny...I enjoyed seeing her so happy.
"Pat, I cashed your check."
Dad died 5 years ago, and a month later sent us an angel to take care of mom. She gives mom 24 hours of love everyday and never loses patience with her. I visit most days and join in on the fun and games. It's like going to a kindergarten playground. Sometimes she gets mom up, holds her hands. They bounce around the room to the beat of the music, laughing and giggling. Like two little kids. Mom gets feedback and interaction constantly. We sit and talk. I treat it like a game. I can only last about 2 hours, its exhausting. What ever she says I try to ask questions about her made up words or comment on her nonsensical stories. I try to live in her world and guide her when she is in my reality.
When dad passed, mom was looking for him constantly. Every 20 minutes mom would wake me asking, "where's dad, where's dad" in a total panic. During the day she would scour the house looking for him and try to get out of the house to look for him. It was hell. Then our angel arrived and probably saved my sanity, if not my life. She taught me how to live in mom's world. After about 6 months, mom calmed down and wasn't panicked about her missing life partner.
From that point on she gradually settled into a much calmer world. We constantly redirect her to positive thoughts with love and humor. About a year later she started to create jokes and really funny humor. She jokes and intentionally kids us around to make us laugh. Not all the time, but more frequently as time progresses.
I think, and the psychologist agreed, that creative humor is one of the most complex brain functions. At first, getting mom to laugh stimulated her brain to see the humor. Then later when she was creating humor I think it was exercising her brain. Mom continues to improve in listening to and understanding conversations and listening in to side conversations. She remembers a little more with each passing month. Not monumental, but baby steps. My consolation is that she is not getting worse, but slightly improving.
I learned years ago that there are only two ways to react to any experience. From a place of love or fear. I think that humor is based in love, not fear.
Humor and laughing are powerful healing pills for mom and us too.
She spent a week in a geri-psych unit last year. There was a woman who ranted constantly, very loudly. One day she bellowed, "JESUS! COME DOWN HERE AND DO YOUR DUTY!"
Classics.
It’s a wear down mode being 24/7. Double dose is when on your a time second Caregiver. Female Police 👮♀️ Officer asked me past week when in house when I said “I’m Double dose” “She said “Drugs”. I said “No”. thats being 24/7 caregiver. I’ve never been married and no children. Although some female took bra off last night at Reputable Local Establishment and put on me. I Don’t go there to see them dance 💃. I’m only one that comes in with paper 📝 pen 🖊 and have draw pictures write down on what’s on their mind. I also include myself deprecation to me and make them laugh.
Usually, I have a funny story every time I talk to my mother on the phone or take her out. She loves to laugh, and it takes the onus off of me and her complaining. If I can get her laughing, that's a real plus.
I look up funny stories, positive human interest stories, jokes, or tell her a funny story that happened to me or my pets. It really lightens the mood. I try to leave her with a laugh at the end of an outing or phone call.
You bring up a great point here, and it's important to savor the good moments we have with our loved ones! Thank you!
There is a joke thread with many hilarious jokes that life us up each day and some givers do post their own funny stories there to share with others. Please check it out.
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/caregiver-jokes-152323.htm?orderBy=oldest