Follow
Share

My 88 year old mother with Alzheimers has been living with us for 6 weeks now after being in a nursing home for 2 years. I was not able to see her day to day activity level when she was there but in the 6 weeks here she is sleeping increasingly more and I am wondering if this is part of the normal progression. I had started to feel guilty letting her sleep so much but we are now seeing that she gets cranky and more symptomatic and even less independant in her thinking if she doesnt get all that sleep. I am wondering if this is normal to see and if I should just let nature take it's course.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

81 Comments

Newest
First Oldest
First
1 2 3
My almost 90 year old father was doing great really considering my mom passed away almost 2 years ago now. They were married for almost 70 years. My brother and I take turns going to see him every week,, my brother would do yard work and buy him lunch or take him to lunch. I would clean and cook so he had a weeks worth of food at least although he still drove and would cook his own meals. He would even cook dinner for the both of us from time to time. He took himself to the store and doctors offices, he was going out to the garage and building a chair and doing wood work. But about 2 months ago something happened. Keep in mind he doesn't want to leave his house so lives alone. Im upset by peoples judgment here on this thread about being lazy and not caring for their parents. That's upsetting, because I really do feel like im all alone in this. I have been cleaning up all the messes for a year and a half now. Since dad does not want to leave his house ,, we are trying an "in home" caregiver now. I work full time 50 miles away and have 3 kids im putting through college because my husband died in December, so judge away. We just introduced this new person last week (although he was hesitant to have someone come into the house) she is very sweet ,, and when I called my dad today he said "where my girl ?" ,, so he has already warmed up to her. I know I got off topic ,, but yes ,, he seems to be asleep most of the time when I call and I wake him up,, I worry about him constantly, but he would be sitting alone at my house if I took him home, and he hates air conditioning so would be miserable in my house like he is most times when he visits. Now hes in his own home,, my brother and I go as often as we can and he has someone to watch after him. Its a compromise that I hope we can maintain until its his time to leave this earth. So I try not to worry ,, I also have the neighbors phone number ,, and I just let him sleep because it makes him happy.
(1)
Report
My Mom is 88 years old and has been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia and she is also a type 2 diabetic. She takes a lot of meds for various things and she sleeps pretty much most of the day other then getting up and going to the table for her meals.or going to the bathroom. She no longer reads like she used to and rarely watched TV other then the Ball game and falls a sleep usually during that...I have to help her with most things like showering and cooking and making her bed. Giving her her insulin shots. She sits a lot with her eyes closed and has a swaying motion she does with her head. I am assuming this is caused by the Dementia. I was wondering myself if this is a normal thing for her to be sleeping as much as she does. And looking up more info on this I found this and see it is a pretty normal thing. She sleeps pretty good during the night but she does have a problem with her legs hurting her at night and that causes her to wake up lot during the night sometimes...I am fortunate that I don't have to put my mom into a nursing home since I have my oldest son living with me and he helps me with her a lot. I know there are people that just can't stay home and take care of someone or the money to hire someone to come in and do it when they have to work. It is much better if you can care for a loved one at home in there familiar surroundings if you can. I give big Kudo's to those that do and can. It's hard work and not wasy if you don't have any help.
(0)
Report
My mom has alzheimer & dementia, sleeps alot. She is 78 will be 79 in November. She is currently seeing a alzhemier specialist in Charlotte. We just started going to him. Her primary requested it. The very first visit was an oral exam. He had her to do a cat scan an eeg. We have the results in 2 weeks. I am her care provider, yes some days its extremely hard. My husband & I have put our plans on hold. Its important to try to take care of her. I made a promise years ago to her and myself, i will keep her as long as she know me.
We moved from NY to SC 2 years ago, we did take her, i do not regret it at all. When she no longer recognized me i will reevaluate the situation. From the time my husband and I got married we always said we wanted to travel. We both came from a lower mid level income family, and never had a chance to travel. But for now its all about my mom & what she needs.
(2)
Report
sagdec your mother is 91 years old and nearing the end of her journey on Earth.
You are doing a beautiful and loving job of caring for her in your home.
Let her sleep as much as she wants. of course wake her up to do what is necessary especially changing her position to avoid bedsores. Other than that offer small frequent sicks but don't try and force feed her. Mom is in the process of having her body slowly prepare for the end.ALZ is a horrible disease so be thankful Mom is quiet and content. Have you considered hospice? Dementia is not a diagnosis they like to admit for but if you invite them in to do an evaluation it won't cost anything and their skilled nurses will be able to advise you.
From what you have told us you are doing everything right.
(4)
Report
My mother is 90 ,i move her in with me and my husband in 2014 after she began having seizures again. I woulld go to SC once or twice a month to help care for her, until i/ became apparent that she was not being cared for properly. Mom was diagnosed with alzhiemer and now sleeps all the time. I am so concerned. When she's eating or talking on the phone she falls asleep. Most of thr time she seems to be on another planet, so to speak. I hate seeing her like this, but what more can I do? She is well cared for and loved.
(0)
Report
thanks for the info Annie and Linda. My 81 yr.old mom does alot of sleeping and she has dementia and is alwqys going to nap time. and she forgets alot,.but she does remember her childhood.I was worried about her sleeping so much.it is pretty much normal then. I love having her here with me tho. She's my rock.
(0)
Report
Try not to make your elderly loved one act "normally" provide the opportunities but do not push it, it is your loved ones decision how they want to spend their last years. As long as your LO not doing anything that will hurt others i.e. driving they will be happiest in their own world. This is a time of transition and everyone does it in their own way in their own time. I just spend Christmas with my family which was quite tiring but my daughter had set up a recliner in her office which is a lovely bright sunroom overlooking the garden and i happily and very comfortably spent my time there coming out to socialize when i wished and the family dropped and talked a few minutes or brought me drinks. I did come out for major meals and presents but it was just so peaceful and the grandkids are now old enough not to be so noisy anymore. So let your loved one sleep but keep them clean and change position often to prevent pressure sores.
(1)
Report
My mom is 94 and had hip surgery four months ago. She had sundowning in rehab and when she came home had hallucinations after not sleeping for two days. It was so scary and j am afraid it could happen again.
(0)
Report
Correction please, BPSD - Behavioural & psychological symptoms of dementia.
(0)
Report
It is normal for elderly people with Alzheimer's to sleep for long period of time. Does she get enough sleep at night? if not then she would be making up for the loss sleep during daytime. You have to ask her doctor, hoping the doctor knows her full medical history. Alzheimer's could make people sleepy especially after medication. I think putting her in a nursing home is not advisable, family looks after family member much better. If she suffers BPSD (Behaviour and psychological symptoms of dementia), then I think it is better to let her sleep. This is her need and preference that should be met and respected. She knows where to find her comfort and this should be recognized. If she is still independent and able to do something for herself, let her do it. Give her the choice/s to live her life, the most important is the quality of life that she deserves to enjoy in the moment. Comfort is a priority for her, acknowledge her unique individualism and provide her the quality of life that she needs and deserves. Family is important in her life now, and her self-empowerment should not be taken away.
(0)
Report
Victoria- my prayers are with you. We went thru this a few years ago with my father (he was almost 96 when he passed). He was in a SNF (because of Alz and lack of walking ability) for almost 3 years. No interest in TV, movies, reading- and didn't socialize with other residents- lots and lots of sleeping as his body simply required the rest.
(2)
Report
My mom is 92 and I have moved in with her 6 yrs. ago. She is on a cognitive decline and watching this happen to her is hard at times, especially when she doesn`t recognize me and thinks she has been left behind and is living with strangers. It is isn`t that she doesn`t recognize me that bothers me but the idea that she has to live with that feeling of being abandonned when the reality is completely the opposite. Mom sleeps a lot now and I have been caught between the guilt of letting her sleep and trying to figure what things could keep her mentally active. Reading these comments has helped to relieve a lot of the guilt of thinking that I was a bad daughter for not trying harder to keep her awake...but the thing is that I know that when I get older I plan to sleep alot. I love sleeping and can not think of anything better than a nice comfy bed and really long snoozes (which I don`t do at this time in my life). My mom was never a card or game player and has basically lost interest or comprehension of anything that she was interested in previously...now it is summertime and she loves to sit on the gallery look at the flowers and birds in the tree and drift off into a snooze. So thanks for helping me see that long naps seems to be a normal part of the aging process..
(1)
Report
Did anyone see the special on Glen Campbell? It was a great story of his problems as Alz took over. His family set up a final singing tour and it was an adventure. His singing memories were his strongest and he did a reasonable job despite forgetting words or changing songs in mid-stream. He had few other memories or knowledge of what was happening in the world but he did what came natural when he was in front of a crowd. Sad story but made a very powerful special for TV.
(0)
Report
Portiaxl, you bring up a very good point. Mom takes vit D3, and calcium and vit B12 in addition to a daily multivitamin. When your loved one goes to the doctor, they will take blood tests and that will show what they need to supplement. If it's been a while, ask for them to do that.
(0)
Report
I would love to know -- if they are getting the right diagnosis, is their medication what they need? Older people never go outside, do they have a vitamin deficiency, like Vitamin D? There are so many unanswered questions.
(1)
Report
My Mama was such a stately Lady through out Her entire Life. She changed Her clothes every night after a long hot bath. Laundry was regular. Our clothes line reminded Me of all the different National Flags blowing proudly in the wind outside the European Parliment. Suddenly things changed, when Mama had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2013. I'm finding it almost impossible to encourage Mama to take a shower now, although when She does Mama enjoys it. I assist because I'm petrified Mama will trip and fall coming out of the shower tray, and I help to dry Her with the towel, as She's not able to. Also I find soiling every where, on the refrigerator door, etc. The bed is in disarray always, and I find Mamas undies hidden down at the bottom of the bed, but I'd never make issues, I just get on with it. Mama is 86 years now, and on Her final journey and I'm here to give My dear Mother the very best quality of Life that I can, and I must say She is such a sweetheart, always appreciative, constantly thanking Me, and NEVER moans or complains. I'm 55 years now, and I have promiced Myself that when Mama's battle with Alzheimer's is at an end, that I will raise money for a cure to A/Z because I have seen through Mama just what a horrible disease it is. It's so fitting to call Alzheimer's THE LONG GOOD BYE.
(0)
Report
Who decides that they want to live longer? My mom, four years ago, understood what was happening to her and she asked me to help her die. She is still alive and still sinking into the bottomless pit of alzheimer's.
(0)
Report
I have my mother who will be 91 next month and my sister is at home tending to her and it is really hard to keep up with the day in and day out task of taking care of our elders but its time for us to pay back and keep them healthy and living as long as they can. My mother also sleeps most of the day and night and has been to the hospital twice this week with different problems like bladder infection and pneumonia. back in her own home again but it is really hard for my sister to take care of by herself. any suggestions why she is sleeping so much would be helpful.
(0)
Report
My father was placed in a nursing home when he was 90 yrs. old following surgery - amputation of his big toe due to diabetes problems, and he eventually started to sleep more and more. The doctor said that was normal at his age and a sign that he would not be with us much longer. He passed away a few months after his 91st birthday. I agree with Veronica91 because at her age of 86, it is probably a natural progression of life. You could check with her primary care physician if you haven't already in case they have a different opinion.
(0)
Report
I am afraid it is often something like a fall that triggers the slippery downhill slope. If she is content continue to care for her and love her but allow her to sleep if that is what she wants. Don't try and "cheer her up" when all she wants is peace and quiet.
(1)
Report
My mother-in-law 86 I was doing good till she fell last year she was active and then everything changed now she just likes to sleep and I feel extremely guilty because I feel like I have to do all the things with her but I guess I just have to except the fact that she's tired and getting older
(0)
Report
John don't think you will not be able to care for Mum at home if that is what you wish to do. Yes there will be a lot of very personal care involved but you won't be the first son to give his Mum a bath.
There will be help available from visiting nurses etc who will teach you the basics of home nursing and probably bathing aides who will visit several times a week. There a lot of instruction videos on utube to teach you the basics.
Come back here when you have a question. I am sure some one will have had a similar experience.
(0)
Report
Hi My Name is John, and Im a full time Care giver to My darling Mother Who is 86.years and has Alzheimer's since mid 2013. Im 55 years of age and had zero experience of caring for an elderly Person + Alzheimers. I've been very fortunate though as I came across Bob de Marco's Alzheimers site on the Internet which is very helpful to all Care givers. I receive posts every day which keep Me well informed, and up to speed with this awful medical condition. Bob de Marco's site
is absolutely brilliant, and Im so thankful to Him for all the help that I receive.
In relation to Mom, I intend to go the distance caring for My Mother at home where She's happiest and most content, for as long as is possible. I know the time will come as the Alzheimers progresses when it will not be possible for Me to continue to do so, as Mom will require professional care in the relative later stages. When I think back at all the sacrifices My Mother made for all of the Family, and Me and the wonderful Companion and best Friend Mom has been to
Me throughout My entire life, I would be heartless and terrible ungrateful NOT to
do so. I wish all You Care givers the very best, keep up the great work, plus hugs and kisses to all Who You Care. God Bless You all. From John in Bandon, Ireland.
(0)
Report
I am looking after my 88 year old completely disabled husband with the help of 2 carers for almost 3 years now. He also started to sleep for 18 hours. His mind has deteriorated very much, he does not remember the past or recognize his children. He is very happy to be at home and I shall look after him as long as I can. In the 53 years we are married he always was good to me, he deserves to be home and to be looked after well.
(1)
Report
My 85 year old mother live's in a nursing home. It's gotten to the point where I have to call and wake her up in the morning and tell her to put her light on or the aides won't get her up and dressed. Then, when I visit, I find her in bed, sleeping in her night clothes because she forgot to put on her light. Is anyone else's loved one in a nursing home required to activate a call light in order to receive routine daily care? I'm about ready to file neglect charges.
(0)
Report
Be careful, melatonin can give horrible nightmares.
(0)
Report
To all of the above: Make sure that they have plenty of vitamin D. They have found a direct link between D. and Alz and Dementia and sleep patterns. Our 92 year old mother sleeps a lot along with the others In the facilities. My 92 year old dad went to bed at 10:P.M. and up at 6: A. M. but he had all his marbles before he passed from an accident.
(0)
Report
My heart goes out to all of you. The body does what it has to do- and if sleepy that will be what happens. One time had my 94 yr old father at the doctor's office and he slept soundly even while the doctor did the full exam- amazing.
(0)
Report
Melatonin, may work, natural enzyme in the body that makes us sleep. Check with his doctor.
(0)
Report
I am trying to help this 92 year old sleep naturally at night, do not want to give him meds. Want to give him a comfortable quality of life. Anyone have any suggestions?
(0)
Report
1 2 3
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter