Family complains about how I clean the linen used to clean up Mom...

I'm mostly just venting but if I'm doing something wrong or someone has a suggestion on how I could better handle this situation I would appreciate it.

Following a recent fall my mother cannot walk on a swollen knee and we have been using disposable incontinence panties as it takes two people for a safe transfer until the knee can support enough of her weight to use the walker. I use a washcloth with a no rinse soap for perineal cleaning with every change, mixing the rinse in the half bath sink attached to Mom's bedroom. Following a bowel movement, I use baby wipes with aloe for the major cleaning, then a washcloth or two to finish up. The disposal stuff is placed in plastic grocery bags and tied shut, then thrown in the household trash that's taken out daily. The washcloths are placed in a small lidded trash can prepared with about a half gallon of a Lysol mopping strength solution. At the end of the day, I take the pail of soiled cloths to the laundry room, dump the contents into the laundry sink, rinse the cloths a bit before placing them in the washer for a extra pre-wash rinse and hot water wash. The laundry room sink, clothes washer and dish washer have 150 degree hot water; the rest of the house only has 118 degree hot water (installed a scald guard water mixer on the household hot water line).

My younger generation in-law says I shouldn't be using washable cloths at all because they cannot "really" be cleaned effectively in a private home. Using my washing machine, even with 150 degree water, "contaminates" the washer and makes everything else I wash contaminated too. Even using the household trash exposes her children to nasty bugs from the soiled disposable panties; apparently my mother's soiled panties are much worse than her children's soiled diapers which she disposed of in my household trash can without benefit of prior plastic bag encasement.

BTW: Now that she knows the laundry room sink has 150 degree hot water, that's an unacceptable burn risk to her children ages 6-13 who have never used the laundry room sink. The closest the kids have come to that sink is about 6 feet when getting drinks or ice cream out of the extra fridge I keep in the laundry room. The sink and a small counter are at the end of the room, you don't walk by it getting to anything else.

I responding by stating she needs to study up on household cleaning methods. Almost all bacteria and viruses are destroyed by exposure to 140 degree water, most only need soap. That before disposal diapers were available, people used cloth and cleaned them in hot soapy water for centuries - that boiling pot over a fire in the yard on laundry day was a reality for a long time. I still remember the "modern" water heater attachment to my great-grandmother's wood stove used to heat hot water for laundry and baths. (As a child I loved visits to my grandmother's childhood home, so fascinated by the old fashion farm setup in the house her grandfather built in 1873.)

In short I will be keeping my home and cleaning methods until someone can show me a factual article from a reputable organization that says I'm wrong. I'm sorry if that bothers other people, but my mother's care comes first and I am not going to discontinue what I consider to be proper washing and bed linen changes just because someone else has a different opinion.