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“Do you recharge yourself as much as you recharge your phone?”
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"Be a good person
but don't waste time to prove it."
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Need: You're very welcome.
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I've never had kids so I'm speculating here. I feel that showering your kids with love is important but countering that with setting a good example is important. Plus discipline when it's required.

Spoiling your kids, a definite no! My hubs is a perfect example of what happens when you do that. I love him. Don't get me wrong but his and his siblings sense of entitlement is something I've never been around before I met them. We were given what we needed when I was growing up and I never felt like I did without, even though we didn't always have the latest jeans or gadgets.
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It’s interesting to read statistics sometimes. Years ago, a survey was taken on how many people would marry and have children again. A large number of people responded honestly and said that if they could do it all over they would remain single!
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"At any minute, there is someone who can come along and change your life. That person is you."
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cw,

I agree, it’s all about balance!

ITRR and Margaret,

Some people certainly go overboard with the self esteem stuff. I have seen so many spoiled kids who are difficult to be around!

Joy and Burnt,

Showing a child that we believe in them is important. Children should have our support.

It’s equally important for them to realize that the world doesn’t revolve around them.

We can teach our children to be charitable and know the joy of giving.

I suppose there will always be various opinions on how to raise children. There are many books devoted to this topic.

Alva,

I earned every award that I received. I believe that it means more if we have earned it. To be honest. I never saw the point in these ‘participation’ awards that kids get nowadays.

Of course, I love my children. I define love by teaching them to become independent and responsible individuals. This is the greatest gift that we can give to our kids. We aren’t always going to be around. They must learn to do for themselves.

My daughters have thanked me for teaching them to be responsible. They have seen some of their friends fail because they rely upon their parents for everything! They don’t know how to make important decisions. It’s sad.
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"It is not uncommon for people to wait their whole life to start living."
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I have to jump in here to counter all your arguments against boosting self esteem - I agree we shouldn't heap false praise on our children (or anyone for that matter), but the dynamic I saw play out was one where no matter how good, how successful, even how exceptional, there was always an opinion that nit picked for flaws and an expectation that they could have done better....
So I say yes do fill that bucket, as long as you don't forget the counter balance.
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Perhaps best we fill their buckets with love, for self esteem must come to us earned BY us. I am afraid I am, libby-liberal that I am, very against the "We all get a trophy" culture. Trophies are for those who are best at something, whether by luck, hard work or a combo. Telling us "Good JOOOOOOOBBBBBBBB as all the moms in SF shout out" continuously isn't the answer to my mind.
I do think love is, and that we love our children as much as we can, love them for who they are, take care of them, are there to teach them, comfort them on the day that little Bobby got the trophy and they didn't.
Life will not hand them trophies. My Mom and Dad were the most loving (and in love) couple I ever knew. But I recall my Mom saying "I am raising them to be independent, because it's what life will require of them".
Interesting subject.
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Margaret, I agree. We should teach our kids how to build their own self-esteem. Making them dependent on others filling that bucket is a great disservice.
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NO NO NO, parents shouldn’t “fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high”. I’ve seen it done, with a school friend of my daughter, who then had a totally inflated idea of herself. Sent to the University Conservatorium to learn how to play the recorder? Given ‘Silence of the Lambs’ to play at her 12th birthday party, because she was ‘so mature’? Was ‘allergic’ to anything that wasn’t expensive when she came around to lunch? Pain in the neck in general? My own daughter was embarrassed when I objected, but eventually stopped being ‘best friends’.

Poor kid, had no idea that ‘ordinary’ was OK, or that school work actually mattered when it stopped being just brains. She ended up in the drug scene, lost touch.

Of course parents should provide self esteem, but not ‘so high’. A couple more:
Not so many expensive treats that the kid has no idea about money.
Not so much emphasis on 'following your heart' that the kid ends up without a career.
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@BOJ

I love that statement about filling the child's bucket with so much self-esteem.
It's correct too.
My parents didn't even bother giving me a bucket to start with. Let alone fill it.
I did all right finding my own bucket and getting it filled.
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"Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can't poke enough holes to drain it dry."
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"You alone are the judge of your worth and your goal is to discover infinite worth in yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks."
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🥰 change your life...

"Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and it’s sucked every second so far, it probably isn't going to get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. No one should blame you for walking out early, and changing your life."
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I've been wondering how he is too, need, Glad he is doing well.
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Llama,

Thanks for asking. So far so good. He still has doctor appointments, but he is hanging in there.
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Need: How is your DH?
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It’s a wonderful day here! High 60’s and sunshine. I can’t resist going out. Hubby and I are meeting a couple of friends for lunch. Will dine outside on the patio on this beautiful day.

Enjoy your Sunday, everyone!
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Had fun at the dog park today with my daughter and grand pup!

It’s really fun to see how dogs interact with each other. They make friends at the park like kids do at the playground.
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"It's OK.
You just forgot who you are.

Welcome back."

🥰
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“You want to change your life? Change the way you think.”
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It's a full moon, and I need to go to bed.
97.7% full.

Anyone else?
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"It's on YOU, to get YOU,
where YOU want to be.

Read that again if you need to."
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🥰 for anyone who has a mother, or father, who doesn't love them...or a family member who doesn't love them:

accept it. own it. then let it go & go out in the world & find love for yourself! find people who love you for you! who tell you how wonderful & lovely & lovable you are & love you up & show you how to love yourself.

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🥰 why you shouldn't care so much about what people think of you...following their advice, not following their advice, etc.:

1. they don't know what's best for you
...no one will ever be as invested in your life as you
...people are experts on themselves (NOT YOU)
...in addition, some people are idiots. there are a lot of stupid people out there, and a lot of people who will want to see you fail
...it will bring you down. if all your happiness is wrapped up in the opinion of others, you will never be happy. if one insult, one jab, one bad opinion of you sends you into a deep depression and a fit of self-loathing, you will live your life worried and depressed. you can't live your life being vulnerable so that one thing can change the entire course of your happiness.
...opinions aren't truths. who gives anyone the authority to think their opinion is the right one?

2. it will keep you from your dreams
...if you constantly worry about what other people think, you will never get to where you need to go in life

3. what's right for someone else may be completely wrong for you

4. people will always have opinions about what you should and shouldn't be doing
...and often, they'll change their opinions!

5. you're the one stuck with the end result

6. you can simplify your life by not caring what people think of you
...you save time
...you become brave
...you become independent

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"Hard work pays off."
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"Keep going. You're getting there."
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Finally got a new cellphone, and so far it is pretty easy to use. It's a Motorola. Also got a new cellphone number something very easy to remember because I've always been telephone number challenged :P

Now I can cancel my Jitterbug/Lively which I didn't like. Even though the advertisements made it sound like it was so simple to use. Nope, it was so darn complicated to use, plus any time I picked up the phone my palm would bump the Alert button.

Since I had stopped using my old phone 6 months ago, I stopped hearing from my teen grand-daughters. Even though my house phone was alive and well, they wouldn't call me on that phone. Strange. Maybe it was the lack of texting/emojies for house phones. Poor things.
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