I'm the sole caregiver for my mom & s-dad. I have NO help and am on disability myself for chronic pain conditions and depression. My pain doesn't matter. I'm hitting bottom with depression and feel hopeless. I have NO life of my own. I feel so guilty and try to keep my mom's spirits up, but nothing I say helps. My mom sits at the kitchen table all day, chain smoking and hangs her head. I do what I can, but stay in my room most all day, everyday. I try to sleep as much as I can b/c I can't stand the negativity and darkness in the house. I'm being real honest here... I pray to go to sleep and not wake up. I have no money to move out and cannot get any Assistance. I 've had to stop seeing my therapist b/c I cannot afford to pay her. My own pain is very bad 24/7. I have no friends. They don't like any visitors and my s-dad is very sexually inappropriate to anyone who comes into their house, so people keep their distance. I've called the Office of Aging and any other places I thought could help, but since my mom & s-dad are of sound mind they can and do refuse all outside help. I have a s-sister close by, but she can't handle the oppressive negativity or her father's awful comments he makes to her and about her. I understand. If/when something happens to my mom, I'll be homeless. My only joy in life is my 4yo dog, who is my World! I can't lose him! That would be the end of me, as my heart would literally break! I'll end up living in my car, making sure my puppy gets excellent care. Then my s-sister said she'd call the police on me if I stayed in my car, even though I can't live with her. I have nowhere to turn and cannot keep up the pace of taking care of all the chores & caregiving. I'm physically amd emotionally in trouble. Thanks everyone for being here! Your support means the world to me!
As hard as it sounds, the only way to battle agoraphobia is to get out. I went through a couple of bouts of panic disorder with agoraphobia. It was hard to get out, but I knew that I had to in order to get well. Don't give into this thing. As an American citizen, you have the right to get medical help, no matter what people say. It may be that you'll need to go to the emergency room and tell them you are having suicidal thoughts Get yourself on the road to getting help. It is out there.
Since that is the case, I don't know that I have much in the way of advice since I am in a very similar place, but please, don't give up....my thoughts are with you xx
People can advise to get out and do things, but it is not so easy. Personally I moved from Texas to a place where I know no one. It is so hard to meet people here, so when I get out, I'm always alone. I still get out just to feel like part of the world again. I go shopping and to get something to eat. And I find there are sometimes other people who are lonely. I love having someone to talk to, if only for a few minutes.
We sometimes mention finances when it comes to caregiving. To me finances are a huge issue because I don't get paid and my store does not earn a comfortable living wage. What helps me keep from worrying is making a plan. I have retirement savings and will get social security. I don't want to get married again, so I thought about a Golden Girls life. Directing my mind toward what I want life to be like helps a lot.
There are most likely many ways out there that you can receive low cost or free help with your depression. I know sometimes when it is too bad, it is hard to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. Especially when you can't even find the bootstraps. Because you live with your parents, it can limit some forms of assistance. You can check with Public Health to see if there is a program in place to help. Many years ago there was a program to help with medications, but I don't know if the program is still in place. I hope someone on the group has some good ideas about where to go for help.
I also want to add that light is one of the best treatments for depression. Open up whatever curtains you can or bundle up and get outside in the sunshine. If the depression is bad, it may seem like too much, but I encourage you to do it.