Years ago when I first started to be my parents "driver" because they stop driving I would whine every now and then to others. Of course, many who aren't doing that type of caregiving work would comment that my parents drove me around when I was a child, I should do the same for them. Then I realize those others didn't quite understand, and I didn't have a snappy or informative comeback.
Now I do. Whenever someone says that to me, I now say "yes, my parents did drive me around but both my parents were NOT in their 60's and 70's when I was a child, BIG difference". Then I get that ah ha moment that that person finally understood.
i understand your frustration freq . instead of letting you have some distance from their need-iness , the parent would like to jump in a car with you where your seperated by a distance of 12 inches .. thats well into a persons personal space and in some cases could be considered emotional tresspass ..