My mom had a stroke about 2 years ago which left her physically unable to walk and she can only use her left arm. She did a short stay at a care facility, then a few months with my unstable sister. That didn't work out and although reluctant I moved her into my home. A year and so has passed and now I’m feeling the burnout. I just want my old life back; I’m 37, single, no kids and just want the opportunity to be happy. Add on the fact that my sister and her son have now moved in (until she find a place) and my two nieces need a place to stay (or may go to foster care). It's an emotional drain and it just falls on me. I know she didn't ask to be in this situation or my nieces to add either - but neither did I. Even with the help of a home health aid during the day, the strain of working full time and caring for my mother is just taking a toll. When we discuss nursing homes she's all for it until the moment it all comes to picking one. I feel selfish and guilty for even thinking of turning my back on my family and wanting to live my life. My mom and I had a beautiful relationship prior to her stroke, but even that is changing for the worse lately. Lately, I’ve been so depressed and just crying all the time. Is it wrong for me not to take my nieces and some how convince my mom that a nursing home will be better for her situation or am I being selfish? I'm sure my family will say that I'm being selfish. Just can't win either way..
The trips to the park for tears sure sounds familiar. That was me for years. It is not a good place to be. A cyber hug is coming your way.
When I cared for my dad that was my full-time job. I can't imagine having to work and care for him at the same time. Caregiving is a full-time job already. You need to take some things off your plate and get some perspective...and a little rest.
But there is a huge difference between not turning your back and taking them into your home. Get your mother situated in a good care facility. Don't just "dump" her there -- continue to be part of her life, while others see to her day-to-day needs.
Do your utmost to see that your nieces are in a safe, nurturing environment. Visit them often. Have them over to visit often.
Encourage your sister to get back on her feet so she can be more independent.
Keep your family in your life, but do it in ways that are management for you, and still allow you to enjoy your own life.
I am not sure about the children that you mention. You might feel different if you didn't have the adults in your life, living with you.