He has been there for three months and is just now in the process of qualifying for Medicaid. I admitted him at our doctor's advice because he said I just couldn't take care of him anymore. He is severely physically disabled and right now it takes 2 CNNs to get him out of bed and into his wheelchair. I have been taking care of him for 7-8 years and have watched his decline. Last year he had a bad fall and wound up in a Rehab. He stayed only 3 weeks and I couldn't stand it anymore...I took him home. We had Medicare therapists coming in a few times a week and he was improving. But then,he reached his plateau and Medicare would not pay for them to come in anymore. He began another decline, and finally I could not even get him out of bed. I had to call 911 4 times in the last few weeks he was at home because he would slip to the floor when I was trying to transfer him and I couldn't get him up. He is for the most part cognizent, and that's what hurts the most. He hates it in there and wants to find a way to come home. The therapist and Social Worker have said he needs to stay long term for both his and my safety. He is unable to use the bathroom so he is in diapers. I know that Medicaid would pay for a hospital bed and a Hoyer lift if I decided to bring him home and try it again. We've been married 36 years...I am 66 and he is 76. I feel miserable and feel like I'm in Limbo right now. Help!
Your own health will fail eventually if you take your husband back home. Your husband needs you to remain healthy and the best way to do that is to take care of yourself and spend as much time as you can with him. You can't help him at all if your health is ruined and he wouldn't want that.
If you get sleep and can be refreshed, you will be better able to cope with things at the nursing home. Likely he will adjust when he knows there's no chance of a change. It's the waffling that keeps him thinking he maybe could go home.
This is very hard, I know. But it would be harder if something happened with him under your care where he was injured (or both of you). My thoughts are with you. Please keep checking in.
Carol