I am so depressed with the daily grind of living the same day over and over again for the last 5 or 6 years. The situation is out of control to a point of no return, today she seemed to be find and just like changing a channel on t.v. mom was in a such a state and so lost that dad and was about to cry, well I did and I ran outside. Does it get to a point that she can be sedated or what, when mom gets like this her COPD gets worse and she can't breath, also she has started to forget to swollow and holds the liquid in her mouth. Is this just the level of the progression or what. This is my 2nd post and my story is so long for now I can only tell bits and pieces for now. I am taking Paxil and nerve pills for panic attacks because it got so hard to make it from one day to the next that my Dr. put me on the medicine to help me cope.
It's hard when you tell yourself that you can do everything that needs to be done for an elderly love one, but your body says no you can't!
I didn't even recognize what a panic attack was, but after the second episode of throwing up, shaking, sweating, diarrhea, and guilt thoughts. I had to figure out what was happening too me. Each time it took three days in bed to get back to a so called normal.
I finally went to the Dr. to get some help and did get a prescription that seems to help. So far no more attacks.
I think we want to deal with, solve all the problems, and make the best decisions for our loved one, but we can't fix them. That's the real problem for me. My mother will only get worse. She's 80 and in bad bad health.
It's a process, each step has to be handled as it comes and my panic comes from questioning myself as to, can I do this? It's scary, it's confining, it takes over your life. It's making the important decisions for someone that we have always looked to to help US make our life decisions.
Those decisions include Medical decisions that can't be left to Dr.'s & Nurses. We have to monitor their care in hospitals, nursing homes, assisted care homes etc. There's no training for this, we just do the best we can not knowing if the decisions are the best.
Then the loved one doesn't think our decision is the best for them. God help us we just keep trying everyday.
The one thing I have learned is to listen to the social workers, and others who have seen other people like us go through this. If you need help see a Dr. and I pray for strength.
Love to All
Crying is okay. I wish I had more alone time to do it, but when I have I've cried so hard I've puked (sorry for bluntness). God comforts me and I get on with the tasks I need to do.
Sorry to ask this and maybe I missed it in another posting, but do you have anyone that can help give you a bit of relief?
Turn to God. He will help like no medicine can. Crying OK. It's a wonderful relief from stress and pain and a natural way to cleanse. God sees your tears and hears your pain. He also sees your heart to care for your parents. If you ask, he'll help. Praying for you.