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Awww I feel for you. After my dad died I fell out with my youngest brother for a few years and he would not reconcile. Then we attended a family funeral and my other brother helped to make sure we ended up face to face at the airport. He was 'late'. As a result we reconciled.

After talking to other people I would say for some families falling out seems to be part of the grieving process. It is easy to take offence and easy to blame others for the way we feel. If you throw in any mental health issues it all gets worse.
I hope you manage to get a reconciliation. It is not your fault. Hang onto that and good luck!
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Yes, and I just don't understand why this has to happen. I am an only child and cousins are oversees though we were in regular contact when my mom was alive. That has really lessened since my mom has been gone.
Even stranger is the situation in my husband's family. This extended family always bragged about how close they were. My MIL constantly talked about the close family. They seemed to only gather at funerals. When MIL died, only a couple of them showed up, which I understand due to Covid, but some of these cousins claiming to be so close never even sent a sympathy card, called or emailed my husband! MIL would be livid! This after we always were there for them when their parents died. I just don't understand this. I look at it this way....it is THEIR loss to cut off from us!!
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I am so sorry to hear of your family dramas. I can fully understand how you are feeling. My advice is don't wait for your brother to come good - have you thought about taking up some interests. Let your brother deal with "his problems" because that is what they are. We all make choices. It doesn't appear from what you say that you owe him anything. Antidepressants are only a band aide. Do you have a garden? There are so many gardening groups. If not - think of something you would really like to get involved in. There are so many charities wanting helpers too. I know how hurtful family can be ..... but do not let him ruin your life. In time he may come around. Best wishes to you.
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Caring,

I am so sorry that you are struggling.

Do you think you need to discuss the meds with your doctor to tell him/her they aren’t working as well as you’d like them too?

Covid has made our lives more complicated and difficult. Everyone wants things to get back to normal.

I hope things will improve for you as soon as possible. Take care.
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Yes, this has been very very difficult for me. I had a hard time meeting people before Covid, so I'm sure my chances now are even worse. I have no family or
friends to lean on if needed. It scares me. I don't have any desire to do much anymore. I pretty much sleep half the day and watch tv the rest of the day.
I eat in between. I have no motivation to do anything. I do take some anti depressants but they are not really helping this situation. I need a life, I need
others in my life that are just as eager to see me or talk to me as I am them.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm just sick of this. I am soooo tired too, tired
of doing nothing.
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I’m sorry. Yeah, it happens. When my husband’s mom died, he and his brothers had problems because of lies that were told by his father. They no longer speak to each other. It’s sad when this happens in families.

I don’t wish to share the details right now but trust me when I say you are not alone.

Many families go through this. I’m so sorry that you are struggling with this situation. It hurts.

I will only add one more thing, you cannot change or control how they feel about anything. You can only control your feelings on issues.
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One of the things that kind of hit me after my dad died was that we were all cruising along living our lives, then suddenly Life told us that was going to stop now and we're all going to change directions. Huh?? Nursing homes? Dementia? Mom and Dad not one unit any longer? It was unfathomable, but it was also something that happens to everyone. It doesn't happen too many times in our lives, but it does, and we have to adjust to the new reality.

The arrival of Covid has done the same thing to everyone. Our lives as we knew them are gone and we have to adjust, and it takes a lot of effort.

This is the time for you to adjust. Your brothers have their lives, and you need to make one for yourself. In the era of Covid, it's going to be tough to do, but I suggest you try checking out various classes, online meet-ups (not necessarily dates), and other ways to meet people. Try to find a group that likes to do something you like -- hiking, painting, reading.

Your brothers will always still be your family, but your family has changed now, and you may have to broaden your social circle outside your traditional family. Unfortunately, we can't go back to how things were before Covid or before we lost our loved ones, so instead of looking back, we have to look ahead.

Good luck to you.
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He is living in a trailer at some friends property. His son ended up moving in to my Mom's house with him about a year or so before my Mother's death. My nephew ended up finding excuses not to work or stay with a job. He decided to cozy up to my brother so he would let him move in Mom's house. I wasn't happy that my brother never asked me about him moving in.

As far as I know they are together. My brother called my nephew at closing and let him know he was getting the proceeds from the sale of Mom's house and his son came running. My brother is too naive to think his son is hanging around to take advantage of the little money my brother received. We did not receive a lot. It was an old house that needed repairs. My older brother made no effort to work to earn money and save for his future. He could have bought out my other brother and myself for very little.

He wanted me to move in with him and sell my place, but when I figured out the costs compared to what I am paying now, I would not have saved any money moving in with him. I would have been the one paying for any repairs, cable, wifi, a/c, etc.. Again, he would have been the one to reap the benefits of me moving in with him. Sad situation.
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The only reason I can think it natural for your older brother to refuse to speak to you because of the house sale would be if he had been led (or at least tacitly allowed) to expect something radically different from what actually happened and blamed you for his being evicted after your mother's death.

You used to do everything together? How, in that case, did you manage to avoid discussing his future?

Where is he now?
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