Geez...I think if I have to find something again I will scream...
Not really...at least this time there was no serious anxiety associated with it.
I always have to drop everything and look for something that was “put somewhere so it could be found again “...
On the bright side...she realized some unknown being..or me... didn’t hide it...
She said... “Where did I put it?”
Thats all...
Tim
Also remember to never overlook the obvious: last night dad went to take a shower and left his wire rimmed glasses on the dresser. Came out and they were gone. After an intense search finding 2 pair belonging to mom, I discovered they were ON MOM, who was lying in bed ever so sweetly asking me what I was looking for! SHe btw has more purses than the Queen...which was wear I found my PO Box key after a search and paying for a duplicate that was not refundable.
But...so many times during the day...before I could have done anything...she says...”it’s gone”...and she gets really upset...as soon as I say...”What is gone?”...she interrupts...”no...don’t you remember...I showed it to you....it’s gone”
That is a fine example of the discussion.....sometimes...I just say...”That’s a shame....I am sorry its gone”....without any idea what she is talking about...then there are times...she just gets frantic....and clenches her fists...
it gets out of hand sometimes....and I get upset....or if I am quick enough...I leave the room...to take a breather...
A few days ago...she was on my case all day...claiming that I damaged her stuff...the next morning she apologized....
I cannot tell what she will remember....her behavior is confusing to me sometimes.....
The other day....she said she did not feel good......I asked her what didn’t feel good?....she said....”I’m not smart...everything is so difficult”.....
I hardly slept that night...
The other day I couldn't find the extra bird feeder I had in the utility room. I found it on the fireplace & fireplace decor missing. Found decor on the sofa table alongside pet toys. I put toys back in den & found an unopened yogurt container on TV stand. I put yogurt back in fridge & found pet's water bowls stacked on counter where pets can't reach them, I put the bowls back on the floor & found DH taking tissues out of the box, folding them into squares & stacking them on the bedside table. Go figure.
She accuses my sister or brother of stealing it, then calls me (on the other side of the country) and bad-mouths them. If I don’t sympathize with her, or suggest that she may have “misplaced” the purse herself, she hangs up on me after saying something like, “You moved away from me, so why should YOU care!”
She hid her debit card underneath the family Bible in the living room, and her checkbook inside a photo album. She even hid her house keys inside a big ceramic planter along with her beloved ficus tree.
Mom switched her panties to my sister’s drawer and my sister’s panties to hers. And she began removing everything from my sister’s closet and rearranging it so my sister couldn’t find a thing. Finally, my brother had to put a lock on my sister’s bedroom door to keep mom out, and mom was furious. (She had no recollection of moving or rearranging anything in my sister’s room.)
By the way, hiding or “misplacing” things is one of the common problems of those who suffer from dementia. It’s normal for a caregiver to get frustrated, not to mention feel hurt or angry when a loved one accuses them of “stealing” something, so know you are not alone. And hang in there.
Go figure...previously she would have been extremely upset trying to find them...
She would get sooooo upset..that I would have to stop everything and find them....
The calmness was spooky..
All this followed a tough week where she was upset most of the time...
And...yes..usually “someone” moved it...
my whole life I have misplaced things. I always think to myself that I will put it in a place I know it will be safe. I am always certain I will remember where I put it. I never do.
try as I may, this has always been the case with me.
There is is no actual attempt to hide anything. No malice intended.
I just squirrel away thing and then cannot remember where. I bet this is pretty common....maybe is the truth of what is happening with her too?