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It seems like the hardest part of aging, from what I see is people become so set in there ways and not excepting change.
It's what keeps us in are home, and honestly keeps us back in a lot of ways. When we could enjoy life in maybe senior housing, with no upkeep and lawn work, but I see many seniors that can't except this and many other things that go along with change. Any thoughts or suggestions or whys of why this happens?

This is a fantastic question for discussion, because I wonder if my own mindset will change or not. Right now I feel that I would say "yes give me ALL the help!". What makes things change? I wonder if there has been any research into this....
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Interesting discussion. I think we all have routines, daily or otherwise, and in that sense almost everyone is "set in their ways," no matter the generation. Mine right now is morning coffee, read the paper, do NY Times puzzles, check emails, etc. I'm almost 82, and have had multiple career shifts, not all of them voluntary. I've had to be flexible. We did live in one home for 38 years, but I had no qualms downsizing to a condo in another city, where we moved to be closer to family after my husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's. I grew up in a small apartment in NYC, and am not attached to places or "stuff," and I think that helps. While I Iove the condo, I wouldn't want to stay here at all costs; I've told my kids that I'd go into AL or a nursing home if needs be, and I'm adamant that they not sacrifice themselves to care giving.
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Thanks lea, much appreciated, I feel that I am also , rather adaptable, and I'm trying to not say no to new things and new adventures, when life would be less stressful to just not go on a trip, or do new things I'm really trying to be more of a yes man in the sence of doing new things.

Except hubby asked me if I wanted to go , Parsailing, that was a big fat NO. 😂

And Im trying to learn new things all the time, and I am concoring a tad bit of tech , compared to me a few years ago.

I'm just really worried about sitting being older and sitting around saying " kids this days, and those gosh darn hair cuts,," ect....

A few years ago , are local news caster we watched everyday, retired, I was actually mad at him. How dare he make me change. 😆 and realized ok your turning into mom.

One of those things caregiveing has taught me, that I want to be more adaptable
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I am a Dreaded Boomer and moved 23 times in my life, having not even been in my hometown since 1980, I think it was, for a weekend return for a class reunion. I've had more jobs and careers than I can count and love change, too. While it's fun and cool to blame the Boomers for everything, it's not only unwarranted but ridiculous.

I accept change as an inevitable part of life and especially aging. I and dh will do whatever is required to keep ourselves safe and not living with any one of our 7 children as we age. Whatever we need to do, we'll do. Senior Living is fine and dandy with us, in fact. There's a great IL high rise in town we like a lot, so that can be an option. And it will be an enjoyable experience there, to boot!

And, if worse comes to worse, we have our own "exit plan" if things get very bad or dementia sets in.
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For women, sometimes hormonal changes bring challenges with adaptability. Estrogen is a wonderful thing, when we have it. When we don't, despite our "want to", its lack can preclude adaptability.

I'm 60, and through menopause. It's harder now for me to catch on, and also to retain information. I HATE it, but that's just the way it is, for my brain.

I'm guessing there is a similar path that men's brains take.
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Alva, thanks so much for that. Nice to hear the perspective of someone aging at home, as long as you can. As sad as it is the thought of falling and dieing in your bathroom, being a better option than AL , is good to hear, hard to hear but good.

As far as politics, we can't change it so we have to accept it or just block it out. No reason to let it ruin us. I agree with you , with that.

I feel, as for getting to know you this past year, that yes you have trac issues and other age related issue, but honestly, you are very open minded and maybe not as set in your ways as much as you may think. I think your pretty awesome.

As for all the other age related issue, ugh, that does NOT sound fun.
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Anxiety, I don't expect to "enjoy" my time in care.
Not at all.
And as a matter of fact, as I get more near to it I feel that dying on the floor in my home unable to summon help would be a blessing.
As you know, Neil had himself a stroke fewer than two weeks ago.
He was one of fewer than 10% who came out of it entirely intact. I count him very lucky, but I was over him when he was saying he wouldn't have an embolectomy shouting at him that I am "WILLING TO LET YOU GO, but I am NOT willing to allow you to survive half way to sit with no left side in a nursing home for more years".
And that was the truth.

Death is not the problem. It is the complete indignity of the losses. Park of those losses are resiliency. I just put a note up on Facebook saying basically "Leave me out of politics now; I haven't the elasticity. I just want to be left alone with my art, my garden, my friends, my foster dog, my true crime podcasts, and my huge bag of Trader Joe Original Potato chips".

So, nope. We are not adaptable. Tech is anathema. We don't have the brain cells and we don't have the adaptability. We are losing pieces of us along the way everywhere we go. Start with the hair, the eyes, the ears, the skin, and end with the cripples toes that don't even feel enough to KNOW they are crippled.

I say this as an 82 year old lucky enough (and quite honestly THRILLED) to be able to walk the streets of my city (they are more and more dangerous and more and more dirty). I say this as someone still with quite a lot of "interest" in it all.

But nope, like a rubber band left out in the sun, I don't snap back. Give me a pull and I just break. There's not a lot of "fun" left girl. AC is fun!!!!!!! But when your own daughter at mid 60s begins to crump, you start to wonder "Where's the exit and when can I get out of here".

I would love to skip the ALF. Like my bro said "It's like the army. I don't much like it but I make the best of it." I will as well. Just don't ask me to love it.
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Burnt, that's very interesting indeed,I'm sure that is a big part of it. I would add to that, more divorces, less people staying together, just because it's easier.

Ana, oh I hear you about technology, ugh took me two days to set a new TV up, but I did it!! 😁

Cwillie, I hear ya.
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I wish I knew. I used to be so bold and fearless, now I'm not sure if my recollections of those days are just false memories.
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I agree with BC about never having those luxuries. Or, at least, few of us have.

I’ve often thought of people as being set in their ways because they are naturally fearful, so they reject change. Others are naturally more curious, enjoying new experiences, other perspectives.

I find I am enjoying new people, new cultures and new places more. However, my current home is my dream home and I’m sure I will fight having to leave.

I do get frustrated that, too often, when a well-designed product wears out, it is replaced with an unnecessarily complicated “upgrade” with built-in obsolescence. I want the old style! I’m tired of relearning that which should be simple. The infusion of technology where it does not belong! Maybe it IS my age. Maybe it’s my inner engineer. But 🤬, I don’t want my “smart” toilet to get hacked and upload photos of my bum to my social media accounts!
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I think it's a generational thing. The 'Boomers' and the generation before them often lived in the same town they were born in and worked at the same job until they retired. Gen X is used to getting laid off, switching jobs and even careers, and moving around. We've never enjoyed the kind of stability our parents and grandparents did. So change isn't such a problem with my generation or the ones that come after it.

Gen X'ers don't get set in our ways because we've never been allowed the luxury of getting set in our ways. The older generation has been catered to. They've enjoyed job security and pensions. Not us. So they get set in their ways
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