"Joyful Girl"
lyrics and music by: ani defranco
"i do it for the joy it brings
because i'm a joyful girl
because the world owes me nothing
and we owe each other the world
i do it because it's the least i can do
i do it because i learned it from you
i do it just because i want to
because I want to
everything i do is judged
and they mostly get it wrong
but oh well
'cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged
and the woman who lives there can tell
the truth from the stuff that they say
and she looks me in the eye
and says would you prefer the easy way?
no, well o.k. then
don't cry
and i wonder if everything i do
i do instead
of something i want to do more
the question fills my head
i know that there's no grand plan here
this is just the way it goes
and when everything else seems unclear
i guess at least i know
i do it for the joy it brings..."
To me, life is 100% a state of mind...how I look at things, how I act, react, how I think. It was easy being joyful with my mom here at my side - even through all of our scary medical struggles and challenges throughout the years - and there were lots of them - but in-between those we embraced and enjoyed life fully, joyfully. Now if i can just somehow, some way, make myself believe that I can do this without her physically here with me.
It sounds like you have a most wonderful relationship with your mum and that is something for which to be very thankful. I don't mean you should grieve or feel bad, but that you are very fortunate to have had this relationship. Not all of us do.
Please continue to express your thoughts and feelings -it does help - little by little, tear by tear, Grief often has very physical manifestations. Look after your health the best you can. Try to eat properly, exercise a little when and if you can, stay hydrated, and breathe deep when the feelings overwhelm, Cry when the tears come - they are healing.
And have hope that it will get better. It will. Love and ((((((((((hugs))))))))))) Joan