My Mother, who I had been caring for for 8 years, recently passed away. My Dad died in 2008, and since then I have been responsible for every decision my Mom made. The last 3 years she has lived near me in an assisted living and the responsibility, as everyone knows, became more even more. It was something that I would never change or take back. She was 93 when she died and I was blessed to have her every minute that I did. I'm sad that she's gone, and so sorry to lose her beautiful smile and laughter. I will miss talking to her every day. But I am even more thankful that she passed quietly, without pain, and without a prolonged stay in a nursing home. She hated being dependent, and over the last year she had lost more of her eyesight, and had many episodes of lost time and memory. I suspect she was having mini-strokes until the one that finally took her. So today I am much relieved for her, as well as me. I think I have handled the emotional side her passing well. Our family has celebrated her wonderful, long life. But I have come to realize that this is the first time in my 63 years that I have not felt responsible for, or worried about constantly, the well-being of another person. It is like a huge weight has been lifted....but what the heck to do. I have a lot of things in mind, but somehow I am just wandering a bit. It's hard to talk about, really, because I am not sure how to verbalize how I feel. Right now I am just enjoying my days without feeling guilty. But I was wondering how those of you who have been through this have handled the transition-and it is definitely a life transition.
Take your time, plan to do whatever makes you happy and content. It just takes time to get a life again and we just don't know where to start.
As I caregiver I'm always saying I wish I had time to do this or that, etc.. I'm sure you often wished the same.. Well nows the time to do those things.. Just try to relax and spend time enjoying the simple things.. Before you know it your days will be full again... Hugs..
i have several big boulders lined up at the top of the driveway . if anybody tries to drive up this hill ill loose the boulders on em .
i am so full of s*it . being alone gives me time to realize just how much so ..