It is nice to see so many people dealing with the same issues and frustrations I am having. Like so many of you I am working 50 hours a week plus trying to care for my 90 year old father. We are lucky and he is still living alone but only because I call him 2 to 3 times a day and go see him everyday.
I clean his house and run all his errands. He is still able to get his own meals - I just make sure when I do his grocery shopping that he has a lot of easy to prepare things.
I love him with all my heart but sometimes I just get so tired. It makes me feel a little better to see all of you who are going through the same feelings I am. It helps relieve some of my guilt.
You said it exactly. I love my Dad. He was always there for me and I will be there for him. He met my mom when he was 14 and she was 12. They never dated anyone else and were married in 1946. We lost my mom in December, 2010. He is now 90 and doing fairly well really but I promised my mom right before she died that I would take care of him. I took that promise very seriously. I don't plan on letting either one of them down.
With that being said I still get tired. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to work all day and then go see him. I'd like to just go home straight from work one day. But then I feel guilty when I think that way.
It is just nice to come here and see that it is normal to feel like this. It REALLY helps to know it isn't just me being selfish.
I didn't really come here for advice. But I have found what I really needed. Just a shoulder to cry on sometimes when I get tired to others who can understand and relate.
It really helps me.
When it comes to cleaning your Dad's house, which as you know can be very tiring, would there be any way your Dad could afford someone from a cleaning service to come in, even once a month. I couldn't imagine having to clean 2 houses, my parents and my own. I never offered to clean my parent's house, but I did offer an one time cleaning service, which my Mom refused :P
As for grocery shopping, do any of your grocery stores in your area offer on-line shopping with curb side pickup or home delivery? It's been a godsend for me. Yes, most stores have a delivery or pick-up fee, but it is well worth it. You are lucky your Dad doesn't mind getting his own meals. My Dad doesn't know how to boil water.... [sigh].