Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Your mother does sound as though she has capacity - if so let her do what SHE wants to do and let HER do what you and she want for her - to enjoy her life. There is no emotional gain to be had from you having to argue with your sister and I imagine Mum is probably quite aware of it. If she wants to sign the farm over to you let her but get it done legally and tight as a drum. Then you can work on making her life wonderful. You have such a solid head on your shoulders Aveeno and I just know you will do the right thing by everyone - including your late Dad.
(1)
Report

I finally took the final steps to end this all. As much as it hurt to do this I realized that most of my stress was the back and forth with my sister. She has an excuse for everything and it's always so twisted. I wrote her a letter, let her know that I will always care about my family but could no longer deal with the day to day emails, accusations and just over all non caring for my Mom. I told her that if someone became sick, or I needed information concerning Mom that I would email her, other than that if my phone rings and I see her name I will had the phone straight to mom. She wrote a long email this morning, I saw the email and saved it to a file, I wrote back that I acknowledge the letter however I choose not to read it at this time. I let her know that 85% of my stress is listening to this stuff day after day and it had to stop. Of course I have received 3 more since this morning and I'm not responding.
(4)
Report

Good for you, Aveeno! It is difficult caring for a parent as it is, then add in the accusations, attacks, verbal abuse, incorrect assumptions it becomes impossible to do anything to care for yourself. I know, been there, done that. I threw up the white flag last June and decided my life was more important and dealing with the CRAP from my two sisters was more than I was going to deal with any longer.

Why did this happen in my case? Because my twisted sisters did not believe what I was telling them about mom and her behaviors. So, tw2 moved mom to a care facility in June last year which she thought would be an easy adjustment. I still have an email she sent a week after the move that from what she read "it will take a few weeks for mom to adjust to her new surroundings". HA! It is now nine months later and I guess mom is still adjusting. What an eye opener for those twisteds of mine. And who is this the hardest on? My mom and her hubby that ended up in the cross fire, and ts2 who is POA finally just beginning to GET IT! And she is not providing the care as I did for four very difficult years that would have been much easier if I had been an only child.
(2)
Report

It is not only hard but its extremely upsetting for someone that could care less to sit and pretend that they are doing everything that they can do. when she is around my relatives she makes a fool of herself, always fake crying and saying we do everything we can to take care of Mom, they come up to me after and say Really, we have never seen her do a thing, its always you, has she even had her to her home lately? Its a very hard job, the worse part is the emotional and mental watching you parent go down hill. In my case I'm luck on that Mom is still in good condition. I only have one to go up against, I feel for you having 2 of them that would drive me right out of my mind. and its all just because your trying your best to take care of a parent?? Some people are cruel and heartless.
(2)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter