I feel like crying right now. My husband had left a treasured room thermometer at my mother's place to help gauge just how hot or cold it was there. She has dementia. We had left it on the table, kind of out of sight so she wouldn't notice it. It sat there for six or seven months. We now have reason to believe she threw it out. Of course, she doesn't remember moving or even picking it up. My husband is very upset right now, as it belonged to his father.
I know everyone is going to tell me, "Oh, you can't leave anything of value in their place or it will go missing." I guess we were playing Russian Roulette, but I just can't understand why someone would throw out a thermometer.
I don't want anyone to tell me that dementia keeps her from remembering what she did. I don't want anyone telling me to stay patient or count to 10 or any other advice for how to deal with this. I guess there is still this small part of me that wants some normalcy in her and my life, and after tonight, I guess that is just going to not ever be the case.
I don't know what my question is. I guess I just hate the way her dementia has hurt my husband and hurt me.
An update: I actually did find the thermometer! It was in a dresser drawer we hadn't thought to look in. So all in well in that regard. I still deal with Mom's sundowning, as I'm sure many of you do with your parents. Hope to see your comments in other places here.
Again, thank you so much. Your words helped heal the hurt.
Visa
Please don't beat yourself up with guilt. You can't always anticipate every possible thing that may happen; no one can. We just do the best we can, and can only try to accept what happens as we go.
It may not be much comfort, but it could still turn up later. They put things away, hide things, and then one day .. there it is. Take care.
All I want to say to you is that I am so sorry that you and your husband are hurting. I am also sorry that your mom has this dreadful disease. Sending you a bazillion hugs! 💗
The fact that Mum has dementia does not make your loss any less.
I feel your pain. There's no good coming from this disease for any of us. I'm really sorry you've lost an item that was near & dear to your hubby's heart.
I'm so sorry for your pain and for your husband's. The loss of precious items is a hard thing to bear. As is the loss of your parent.
(((hugs)))))