Its a horrible feeling when you realize you are existing. I am the sole carer of my MIL who has vascular dementia, mental health issues, health problems and goes through stages of double incontinence. All through her life she has upset people with her nasty personality and now with dementia it has magnified her nasty nature. Its like being in the presence of someone dripping poison everyday to make life as difficult as possible for me. She is aggressive( her fists in my face) what comes out of her mouth is vile. She puts terrible stress and pressure on my husband and I and she is dangerous, leaving gas fires on unattended, leaving the house without saying, putting cooker rings on...but if you say anything WW3 breaks out. She says really personal hateful things to me and I try to ignore them...but I am so unhappy. I'm trying to be supportive to my husband( only child)...but I feel like running. Its like she is sucking the life blood out of us. Every day is a challenge :(
Would it be possible to get in home help a day or two a week to allow you important time to yourself. Time away for you and your husband is important, as well. Being together, not as a caregiving team, to relax and get away from the stress will help keep balance in your lives.
Perhaps see your own doctor and advise him of what your home life is like at this point in time? Hopefully you both realize that it may be nearing time to look for other living options for your MIL; not only for your safety but for hers as well.
It is wonderful that you want to help your MIL but it is not necessary to sacrifice your own physical and emotional wellbeing. To be an effective caregiver you must take care of yourself first. Wishing you all the best!
I would also make sure that you get yourself to YOUR GP and talk about the stress that you are under. Are you well enough to be doing this level of caregiving?