She didn’t know anything else. He must be healthy and i am happy for her. But i started to tear up and just had that feeling like where did everything go wrong. I am trying to let go but it hit me. My mom has made a bear for her but since she sent her a card with a check (not cashed) she doesn’t think she should send it. I feel so bad for my mother. This is the niece that saw my mom in the hospital and asked for forgiveness and she told her she loved her. She said she wants everyone to get along. Next day blocked us. I answered the question about therapy and I have to go. I feel numb. I am dreading the summer- one day drive to my mom lee cuts grass-drive back an hour and a half. Then seeing tractors in the field gives me a lump in my throat. But everyone is dealing with things. I can’t believe how strong my mom is. There are days I feel like everything on my shoulders is going to collapse. I just have to take it Day by day. Have any of you set back and wonder how did everything go so wrong. I love you all and thank you for everything.
My Mom was a good one. Her life was her family. And she liked it that way. But my brother's never took the time for her when they married and moved away. Maybe because she never demanded it. It upset my Dad but not enough to tell them. Which he should have. Christmas she would get something. My one SIL always wanted to buy her clothes. Never anything my Mom would wear. I suggested money or a gift card, no had to send clothes. When I cleaned out, found tops Mom never wore because they weren't her. Birthdays and MDay went by.
Her last year very few visits. And one brother is 30 min away. The other 8 hrs. And when he did visit, could go the second day he was here because "he couldn't see her this way".
The way my brother's are is not my fault. They are adults and I am not going to tell them what they should and shouldn't do. They have to live with their decisions. Not me, I was here for years. Doing everything for my parents. I have no regrets. (other than I lacked patience but thats me period) You can't change people but you can change you. Everything has been said. Its up to brother. For Moms sake, you have to drop it. Be there for her and love her.
There comes a time in your life that you have to stop feeling guilt when you are not the guilty one. I have a friend who feels it was up to me to keep her informed about luncheons, she thought, our class was having. She received the wrong info. But felt she had the right to leave me a nasty VM about it. I tried to call her back but she wouldn't pick up and went to a FULL VM so I couldn't leave a message. So I texted, still haven't received a reply. She has always been a "poor" me person. I feel I am owed an apology. (She knows the truth now) Earlier in my life I would have apologized for the sake of the friendship but not anymore. I am still waiting for that apology.
Have you thought of hiring someone to cut the grass?
Go to therapy and remember, we love you.
Someone should have called you to tell you. That is how it could be in a loving family without dysfunction. So sorry you were hurt in this way, making the birth a bittersweet event.
One could, if the newborn's parents are open to it, make a separate relationship with nephew's family, apart from your mother.
Sorry that I may not have gotten that right. I tried to understand.
I was thinking of a wasted lifetime relying on my sister to give info on her children.....my niece and nephews. When I could have reached out to them
without "her permission, influence, and control". They have children now.
I could find their address on the Christmas cards they sent to me last, and reach out.
Yes, I sometimes wonder how things went wrong, but I remind myself that it takes 2 to tangle and when the time is right, it will all work out how it is supposed too.
It is spring time, focus on all the rebirth around you and find joy in that as you push the weight to the wind.