Mom has lived with my husband and me for the last 8 years. She has Alzhiemer's. Sis called today and wants $13,500 a year of Mom's savings. I'm aware of the "5 Year Look back for Medicare", so I said no, we can't, as we'll need that to support help for Mom's care, ($2000 mo now so I can keep her at home and a lot more in a nursing home). I have someone here 5 nights a week so I get rest to care for her during the day. She often wanders at night. I've been at my wits end for a while now and I am the ONLY one who has cared for her for EIGHT years. Todays phone call has really pushed me over the edge of sanity. I tried to explain the lookback period and at todays costs, there is enough of Mom's money left for maybe 5 years. She said she already talked to her atty and will be here Wednesday for the money. I'm the only one on Mom's acct with her if that helps. What should I do? Please someone, HELP!
I wonder also, why does she think she is entiltled to your mother's savings?
Similar thing happened in my family.
My extravagant brother 'borrowed' $100K for an 'investment'. yeah, right ... bought house in Tahoe for skiing & other personal entertainment... travels the world boasting about his journeys.
Best thing I've done is quit communicating with him 5 years ago. I became exhausted by his childish tantrums while I was the responisble one. I'm glad he is 700 miles away. Dad & I are so disappointed with him.
If there are other siblings, are they supporetive. I have too others who won't kstand up to him either. Dad is the one who suffers ...
Good luck, Lady ....
Keep up posted?
Rip
Do what is necessary to protect your Mom's assets for the future and tell your sister to take a flying leap. What is the matter with these theiving family members? What makes them think that they have a right to their parent's funds ESPECIALLY when Mom is in need of care herself?
Your sister or someone in her orbit took the "look-back" rules and convoluted them. She thinks that Mom has to "give away" her assets instead of protecting them for her future.
Please do everything you can to keep sticky fingers out of Mom's accounts. (there are many others out there too who would like to relieve seniors of their hard earned savings.) Also, keep important financial documents, statements, etc. away from yours sister's grasp. She is a snake.
good luck
To keep mom from hearing an awful scene, you could always be gone when she arrives - you could be out of town for a day or two. Don't bend to her threats. Your mom needs you now more than ever.
Your sister has ABSOLUTELY NO right to your mom's money and if she attempts to get it then it should be considered attempted robbery. I would definitely notify your local Area Agency on Aging to get this event and threat on the record. It's important to establish a history of abuse by your sister and might be necessary in case she ever tries this again. Be tough, know that you're doing the right thing for your mom.
What makes her think she is entitled?
What a horrible person your sister is! This would make me furious.
I would call the government agency that handles elder abuse in your area. This is clearly a case of financial abuse of your mother. Your sister CANNOT just come and take your mother's money when your mother will need it for medical care over the coming years.
Then call your sister back and tell her you will have her arrested for elder abuse if she shows up at your house demanding money from your mother's account.
I'd lock her out and call the police if she showed up on my doorstep.
Alice