I absolutely do not want my daughters having the burden of caring for me.
I would rather tell them that I desire to find an appropriate place to live out the rest of my days on this earth.
I feel that I would be happier being independent, not relying on them. I also would have joy knowing that they would be free to live their lives as they choose.
I hope that I have all of my faculties so they won’t have the burden of making decisions for me.
A good thing to have is long term care insurance, so we have it when we need it.
All the best :)
Yeah, we have not checked into that. I guess we should consider it. Do you have it?
I personally want to be placed in a facility if I can no longer care for myself, and plan to make provisions for that in the estate planning process if possible. I want to spell our wishes out in writing for the kids, and have a plan in place to take as much of the load off of them as we can.
if my kid or grandkid sees to it that i stay in my home , they become the owners of a dam nice home and property . they will have earned it imo .
it aint always that simple but many times it is . a fellow i used to work with was btchn about his mothers assets disappearing in only a couple years of institutional care . there were 5 kids in his family yet no one could take care of mom ? must not have wanted the assets very badly .
True, Insurance is very expensive. Out of a lot of people’s budget.
I know that you weren’t coming off as judgmental. I judged myself much harder than anyone else ever did. You know, feeling like a failure trying to do everything on my own. It became too much. Plus I had also cared for daddy and my brother too.
Daddy was no problem though. He was so gracious. He was a very humble man and the best grandfather my kids could have ever had. Just like my grandpa was to me.
for sure , many people have nightmare caregiving difficulties -- many with health and other complications of their own . my apologies to anyone who thought i was being smug or simplistic .
This is true. Some people don’t care about socializing. My mom doesn’t care about it. When she went into the nursing home for rehab she had a sweet roommate. She did appreciate her. But as far as participating in bingo, gardening, crafts, eating outside of her room. Nope, she wasn’t having any part of it.
it might even create some competition . lol .
it IS a beautiful little home .
I think personality does come into play. Independent people don’t want to have to depend on others.
Gosh, I remember having to lie to grandma to mop her floor because if I came out and asked her if I could mop, she was insulted thinking that I thought that she couldn’t do her work herself. So, I told her that I spilled something and needed a mop. Worked like a charm.
Her legs were failing her a bit. I knew mopping was hard for her. I was in my twenties and mopping was easy for me. I loved her and wanted to help.
i wish i were exxagerating but im not . only a year ago him and / or his mother tried to get me busted for something they thought i had in my possession . it didnt work but they never stop trying .
neither of them will ever live in this home . they pissed away the last one .
I think you’re onto something. It’s your property. I don’t know the laws in your area.
We don’t have forced heirship in our state. So a child will not automatically inherit a parent’s property.
I will not look after my parents, and I certainly do not expect my kids to look after me. They have their own lives to live. Currently none of them live in my home town, I would not expect them to move here to provide care.
Luckily, I live in Canada and MAiD is legal and available should I become terminally ill. There have been recent court challenges regarding Advanced Directives and allowing it for dementia patients.
My paperwork is all in order. I have no debt. I do have clutter and I have been working with a wonderful woman to purge the extras from my house. It is a slow process, as I am going through 22 years and 3 kids of accumulation, but I am getting there.
If I stay in my house, I will put in an accessible (no stairs) basement suite. I will move downstairs and the rent will help with bills and perhaps some home support. I live in town, walking distance to my doctor and all services. There is Handi Dart available should I need it once I no longer drive. Grocery and Rx delivery are available too.
I worked with a woman who told me that she had to call her mom daily because her mom called her mother daily. She insisted that she do the same. I told her that is ridiculous. She should call if she wants to, not because her mom made her feel guilty if she didn’t call.