Always is when I go away for the weekend with my family...
You can guarantee when I come back he's "been ill". EVERY TIME. So I phoned him - first sentence "I've been ill". Like its my fault because I went away!
STILL not taking all his medication that the GP gave him so I offer ZERO sympathy. Basically, wants me to tell him how he can feel better - "Take the meds the GP has given you Dad, if that fails then go an see you're GP but I'm not a doctor."
His words - "I desperately need you to visit the weekend." "I've got no food in the house" (Brother lives literally 5 mins drive from him - I live 35-40 mins. Brother is probably laying low). Anyway, he knows my car is in the garage so I'm struggling for transport and he knows my wife works weekends so may need our other car. So I tell him I can't promise. Anyone would have thought I'd told him I'd murdered the family next door.
Apparently, I'm "letting him down" and "need to arrange something", and "wife needs to understand". Of course the standby offer of home delivery groceries is not good enough - he doesn't want to spend the £30 minimum - they have to be hand delivered by me!
I've tried setting boundaries, I've said no can do, I've tried ignoring, I've tried just not doing. Give him his due he's relentless in his quest to get me to do what he wants!
And if you want to make it feel like a real graduation, then prepare a lengthy boring speech about how their future is in their hands and deliver it before the celebration. Haha.
I didn’t let my daughter hear me cry but I teared up as I listened to her disappointment. Plus my husband, older daughter and I really wanted to see her receive her diploma in her cap and gown. I am very disappointed 😔.
Of course, I know safety comes first. Still it’s sad. Thanks for your kindness and understanding. Makes me feel a little better.
That’s a thought. Thank you. I will see. Appreciate the idea. I need cheering up! I just hate that her graduation ceremony was cancelled due to this virus. It’s a let down to receive a diploma in the mail.
My daughter was getting ready to mail her graduation announcements out when they got the notice graduation was canceled 😞. She had a photographer scheduled to take her photos with her cap and gown.
Well, you know all of the money spent and prep work that goes into these things. We had our hotel room booked so we wouldn’t have to drive back and so on. Oh well...
All of her remaining classes are now online. The university decided to shut down classes on campus.
We have 36 cases of the virus in our state. So, it’s low here but they say it will grow. They are educating the public on how not to spread the virus and how to get treatment if it is suspected and so on.
Okay, I will speak to my husband and oldest daughter and see what they say. I suppose we can still keep hotel reservations in Baton Rouge. We will have to play it by ear.
My daughter is leaving, you know? Yeah, she wants to leave Louisiana and go to Colorado after graduation. So, I really wanted to have a celebration before her departure. Oh well...
Guess what her plane tickets cost to fly to Denver? $58! Airline tickets are extremely cheap now!!! She has job interviews lined up in Denver in June.
Thanks.
Earlier this week, email regarding what mom's facility plans to do to limit exposure (it has IL, AL and MC.) Tonight - uh oh, new email.... Gov'na is planning to nix all visits, probably starting Monday... guess I'd better squeak one in! (BTW, currently we have 6 cases, all well N and E of here!)
On a different note, I did go out today to pick up a couple of items, of which the plan was a few rolls of TP, because the supply here is running low. Well, the idiocy has hit rural NH just like other places. Not a single sheet of TP in sight. >sigh< Last weekend the shelves were totally full... Figured we were okay and I didn't need them, so I skipped it. My bad.
I did a query on why people are doing this, but I still cannot grasp why ANYONE would want to snag several months worth of TP. There are other much more important items to have on hand, generally there is a plentiful supply, and even if quarantined, it's only a few weeks! WTH???
I went yesterday - didn't want to panic but thought I might stock up a little in case my rellies have not planned. No frozen veg, no tinned soup, no tissues, pain relief or toilet paper. Empty Isles. Surreal.
Did get packets of lentil mix soup starter & tinned pineapples...
Paul, maybe get some extra tinned soup & frozen veg now in case this craziness spreads to yours & your Dad's towns.
Well he never bothered to use or order after the first lot. 12 months went by and they'd taken him off the list because he never ordered any.
Sports not important. But they called off the Saturday game at 2pm Friday so thousands of Scots were already here. I went out anyway after all and it was rammed full of people.
I was, however, really annoyed with his lack of planning, general stubborness and stupidity and a lot caused by his attempts to not spend money again. Also, his standards of hygiene are very low indeed and he tends to force it on others.
Luckily car hire didn't notice. I did feel a bit bad though for the next person. Of course, Dads attitude was "give it a quick wipe down no-one will notice" which I think is a bit much.
Say your local supermarket, every single Saturday, sells 400 +/- 50 packets of Knorr chicken noodle soup and carries a rolling surplus of 100. Yesterday, demand for 800 (normal shoppers get one extra "in case") + 1500 to shoppers who are stocking up their larders. OHMYGOD! You can't even get packet soup!!! BUY BUY BUY!!!
Is there a chicken noodle soup shortage? No. There isn't. There are people behaving abnormally. What would help is if we would all calm down and stop it.
Stocking up, I believe shows SOME evidence of planning, of using the frontal lobe. This is actually a new skill for many here. I mean, sure they all hit the supermarkets in the same week to stock up in a mass panic way, but these are the people who run out of milk, every week.
My workmate went into panic last week when his family of 4 was down to the last 2 rolls. I asked did he usually wait until he was so low? Yep. He basically runs out of things then buys it.
So between the selfish, the opportunistic (gunna sell it on eBay!) the un-planners & the bogans (many, many bogans) there is panic & empty shelves.
May your part of the world be better prepared, more sense & better manners.
Well nobody's going to fall out about the last one because there weren't any packets at all.
The cheerful and pleasant young man at the checkout said he reckoned they'd already had their normal Sunday's trading within the first two hours.
"...UK's Health Secretary Matt Hancock, adding that soon every Briton over the age of 70 will be asked to remain at home for up to 4 months and have groceries and vital medication delivered."
Maybe if he HAS to do this, he'll get used to it? Now it won't be YOU saying to do this, but government orders! Would give you at least 4 months reprieve!
Beatty - "Woolworths"? There are still some out there? I thought they went the way of the Dodo long ago!!!
If new, it is a symptom of real cognitive decline, possibly the result of a stroke or TIAs. Brain imaging?
I totally agree with what you just said. I have a cousin who is 98. She talks about her birthday party when she turns 100! She has always planned and looked to the future. She volunteers at her church.
She handles everything herself. She pays her own bills. She does her own shopping. No cane or walker. She is so blessed.
She is more of a positive thinker and planner than people half her age. If you think she is like that because she had a rosy life, you couldn’t be more wrong.
Her mom died when she was an infant. Her father abandoned them. My great aunts raised her and her brother who was my godfather, he died years ago. One aunt was sweet and encouraging, the other mean and hateful who told her that she was ugly and stupid.
She was intelligent and beautiful. She ended up graduating with honors and working at the pentagon! She wanted to get away from the mean aunt. She sent the nice aunt money and gifts. She sent the mean aunt nothing!
She met her husband in DC, later returned to New Orleans where they raised a family. She lives in an independent living facility now, no health issues to speak of.
She attends senior exercise programs. She’s a size 4. She’s a little firecracker! She has an incredible memory. Whenever I have a question I call her up. I just love her. She will rejuvenate my memory after talking with her. It’s amazing!
She buried her husband years ago. She buried two children as well.
I often wonder if her positive attitude has kept her brain functioning at it’s best. The only thing her doctor gets upset with her about is he feels at 98 she should stop driving! I do too. She is fiercely independent and doesn’t like taking the shuttle bus to her doctor appointments.
She needs to stop driving because she has a heavy foot. She gets speeding tickets! Hahaha She always has. Otherwise, she’s fine.
In his head, he doesn't need more than one set of clothes for 2 days because you can wear clothes for a week (in his head). Shower? No need its only a bit of pee.
He doesn't need to get pads or buy any because "it'll be alright" or "I'll manage without"
Hes fine to walk into the hotel soaking wet, wear trousers that stink because "no-one will notice". Same - it'll be ok to sit in the car for hours because "p wont mind at all". Many times I've taken him out in the past and I know within seconds his clothes are not clean and he hasn't washed for a good while. (He went 3 months once because he did not want to spend £200 or so towards the cost of a special shower which he got an £8000 grant for).
Car seats "give them a quick wipe and deny it if they ask".
Your dad certainly has a ‘devil may care’ nonchalant attitude! A ‘no big deal’ approach. It simply doesn’t bother him. There are some people like that. It’s mind boggling.
He’s so different from my elderly cousin who is 98 and extremely upbeat! She is very orderly and organized. She has a positive attitude about everything. She’s always dressed beautifully.
Your dad is also different from my mom who has been meticulous all of her life! Everything must be in perfect order! A place for everything and everything has a place kind of thinking and has to be kept spotlessly clean!
Others are content living in their organized chaos! Hahaha I know people like that. I worked with them. Their desk was a mess, but I swear they knew exactly where it all was. If someone moved anything on their desk it would freak them out. It’s interesting how people can be so different.
Never have you seen someone so ill at ease with getting older. Growing old gracefully is the complete opposite of Dad.
Like I've always said, pray for me if hes ever got a serious illness.
We all have some things to complain about but each of us has a lot to be grateful for too. We need to remember the good things in our lives.
I don’t remember you ever saying anything your dad is truly grateful for. He certainly should be grateful to you. You have done a lot for him throughout the years.
My place certainly qualifies for organized chaos, but mostly because when I bought it the plan was to refurb what was needed before putting everything away, only to have to take it out again. I lost my job 5 months after purchase and still owned my previous home (a lot of stuff not needed to live here was still there too!) Lack of money had put all the refurb on hold. I was finally able to sell the other place, freeing up funds, then the problem was finding someone to do most of the work needed, someone reliable who does what I want done - I will listen to suggestions and if reasonable, fine. Some work was done, but is not finished. Then along came another money issue along with not having someone to do the work, so with all the stuff moved from the other place, items needed for the refurb and then all the crap my brother brought here from mom's place, ugh!
I will say that yes, I usually had my "piles" of stuff, on my desk at work or at home and so long as no one touched them, including ME, I could locate just about anything! So, it was "organized". Now, add in all the paperwork, etc for mom, yuck. I have to hang on to a lot, just in case she ever runs out of funds for the facility.
I now have some freed up funds, and found someone to start the work needed, so hopefully I can weed out what isn't needed (my original plan included weeding out my own stuff not needed as work was finished and I could organize, but then came all this crap from mom's place - not anything good really, just a lot of leftover stuff that I don't need!)
I would prefer my old "organized" mess! Most items do have a place and is put there, but paperwork often needs to be "handy", so I do have some piles going on. I am hoping to get to where it needs to be this year and start pitching stuff (bought the place 5 years ago, so I am really sick of living in THIS mess!)
That's probably the hardest, the way EVERYTHING is an emergency. Got a cold - hes dying. Everyone has to jump.
I grew up with a perfectionist mom so I personally find organized chaos in others refreshing! I am amazed how they truly do know where everything is. It only looks like chaos to others but it is truly organized, right? It takes time sort it all out in transitional periods.
One of my children is like this. She could put her hands on anything and find it as long as no one disturbed anything rearranging. Hey, my kids had great grades. If it’s not broken, don’t fix it!
Do we lose our sense of smell as we age? I guess so. We lose other senses, taste, sight, hearing...
I can smell intensely. I am 64. When does this happen?