Always is when I go away for the weekend with my family...
You can guarantee when I come back he's "been ill". EVERY TIME. So I phoned him - first sentence "I've been ill". Like its my fault because I went away!
STILL not taking all his medication that the GP gave him so I offer ZERO sympathy. Basically, wants me to tell him how he can feel better - "Take the meds the GP has given you Dad, if that fails then go an see you're GP but I'm not a doctor."
His words - "I desperately need you to visit the weekend." "I've got no food in the house" (Brother lives literally 5 mins drive from him - I live 35-40 mins. Brother is probably laying low). Anyway, he knows my car is in the garage so I'm struggling for transport and he knows my wife works weekends so may need our other car. So I tell him I can't promise. Anyone would have thought I'd told him I'd murdered the family next door.
Apparently, I'm "letting him down" and "need to arrange something", and "wife needs to understand". Of course the standby offer of home delivery groceries is not good enough - he doesn't want to spend the £30 minimum - they have to be hand delivered by me!
I've tried setting boundaries, I've said no can do, I've tried ignoring, I've tried just not doing. Give him his due he's relentless in his quest to get me to do what he wants!
Dad - "No I want you to phone me every day"
Better reply just “Do you Dad?” End of conversation.
I LOVE IT 🌟🌟🌟
Now I'm wondering... does he ever call? Or just demand others call him... Hmmm.
Oh silly me! Calls would cost HIM money 😁 especially if calling a mobile phone.
My Bossy SIL would demand I call her. See if you can move XYZ date/time/place & call me. No I can't - I'm telling you now. So call me when you know. I do know. I can't. So you'll call me back? No. So you'll call me? OMG
This is why I don't speak to her by phone anymore. Ever. Just didn't listen, wouldn't accept my words. I don't know if it was intentional or not - maybe a strategy to get her own way? Whatever it was that game wasted my time so I decide not to play.
So you'll call everyday? No. Don't expect that. I'll call when I can.
I fully understand that one size doesn't fit all (implied in my comment.) Clearly more remote locations have had less impact (AK*, HI, WY have the lowest number of deaths, under 30, and there are others that also don't have high numbers.) However, lack of top leadership (YOU said Trump, not me! The whole top admin should set an example for all) has led to this hodge-podge scenario. *Despite there have only been 18 deaths in AK so far and less than 2000 reported cases, there is an article from yesterday where venues are ASKING for mandates! (https://www.adn.com/alaska-news/2020/07/20/alaska-restaurant-industry-group-calls-on-governor-to-impose-new-mandates-to-head-off-a-second-shutdown/)
I also know that not everyone is going to follow any "rules" or suggested ways to mitigate, but given that many governors and other leaders have subscribed to the "hoax" and did not "lead" or rather lead based on their own misguided "allegiance" , here we are. If they were ALL more supportive of the mask and distancing, and could add contact tracing (another huge issue here, as many won't comply), the rampant new surges in cases might have been avoided. Despite saying that, it does boil down to Americans themselves, and their inability to know the difference between doing something for the safety and health of all vs their own individual freedoms. Suggestions to wear seat belts back in the day were also reviled, despised, and ignored, being another "infringement" on their "freedom." Although now it is mostly law to wear them, ever see how many don't?
Mandate? No. Even if there were any from the top administration, they wouldn't be followed by all, but it *might* have helped, esp if local governments would follow suit.
"So. Why Federal mandate? A one size fits all of 50 states? No. The governors of each state should decide for his/her own state based on their situation."
Other countries also have central hubs for travel, cities with denser populations, rural areas with less population, but they have managed to gain some control over everything. We aren't unique there. It is more difficult here as you can't shut down state borders, but good leadership at all levels could have helped. If you look at the map for NH cases, clearly there is bleed over from MA (shoppers, commuters, etc.) The bulk of cases here are located in this "belt" and more congested areas there. In the US it's been a free for all in too many cases. Despite recommendations before "reopening", the suggestions were more or less ignored, and now we see the results.
Lead by example, from the top. "That's just a liberal talking point to blame the Fed, meaning Trump." I didn't blame him, but he HAS played a part in those governors and other "politicians" ignoring the science and common sense. There's no stopping this virus, it is going to continue to infect others, but it could have been better contained. Instead we have rising cases in many places, in particular those that followed the "leader." He isn't to blame for the virus happening, but he and the top administration have contributed to this mess we're in now. How many times has he said OPEN UP NOW? Same for schools - it CAN'T be the same for every school, but he insists they WILL all open or be punished! Even if the more local governments had listened to disease experts (Birx played a part in dispensing misleading info too!) AND looked to how other countries have been able to dampen the effect, we might have been better off and been able to sensibly open the economy sooner. Quite honestly, I really don't understand how opening massage parlors, hair dressers, gyms and the like really would "help" the economy that much. Given that these require more intimate contact, it doesn't make sense to me. Sure, it would help those venues, but is the whole US economy based on these? I would hope not.
Anyway, again I don't propose "mandates" or a one-size-fits-all, just some COMMON SENSE!!!
"Now I'm wondering... does he ever call?"
My recollection is that yes indeed he DID call and all too often with his usual demands!
It’s the right approach in lots of cases – acknowledging that you have heard, making it clear that you know it’s what DAD wants, and refusing an argument to justify your own position. Bringing food, visiting, looking at bills etc etc…. If he tries again, ‘well what are you going to do?’ etc, the answer is either silence or repeat ‘I know that’s what you want’.
Its fine there its 1000 miles from madrid in the middle of the ocean off the coast of africa. (Lanzarote). There have been zero cases of covid on the island for two months yet the uk government saw fit to quarantine ALL of spain arrivals.
Crazy. I've had a huge argument with my client (who are NOT my employer) who are demanding I dont go into work for two weeks because they don't know the rules. I'm actually exempt (work on critical it infrastructure).
Dad as expected went into a massive OTT frenzy. I phoned him as little as I could but each conversation was basically, "you need to come home NOW" and me "Nope its all fine here".
Massive hassle with the quarantine thing and work now.
Monitoring through that world of meters, I found it a bit odd that Spain would be 'picked on'... looking at the stats, some uptick in cases, but not deaths... yet. Still, it isn't REALLY bad, and given you weren't on the mainland, does seem a blanket 'ban' or isolation on return shouldn't be called for...
Additionally, here they've reduced the quarantine to 10 days (not that you would need that), not 2 weeks anymore. I would think so long as they implement the safety checks and protection, what's the big deal? They don't want you in, then you do what you can, if anything, from home, and anything else will just wait!
Hope things will settle down with the client.
Closely monitor your family for symptoms over the next 14 days & of course get tested if any throat tickle.
No-one wants to be patient zero to a start a cluster!
I would not be visiting Dad for at least 14 days.
Well yeah he did.
Mild symptoms: Test day 1 neg. Test day 4 or 5 pos.
57 heath workers sent home to isolate. 3 people infected. 2 of those were in masks. Without masks may have been 57.
This virus is incidious. I take it very seriously.
(I was one of the 57, but neg)
Yes client is a nightmare. No point upsetting them....
As I've mentioned before I do "on call". 95% of the stuff we get is fixed remotely (by connecting to work network), only once in a blue moon do I have to go to site.
I've offered to do my turn for free, and do the remote stuff. If it needs site visit I'll call the other guy (and he can claim payment if he likes).
NOPE - can't do on call AT ALL. Crazy.
In reality, the spanish islanders were bemused that the UK are making such a fuss of it all. They have a different approach. Be careful but dont let it ruin you're life. In the UK at the moment, there seems to panic and nastiness all around. (Facemasks in shops in england and people not wearing them have causes lots of trouble it seems).
Of course, coming home no problem. Airport easy, flight on time, no issues. You have to wear a mask on plane but no big deal. Arrived BHX drove home. Zero drama.
My client won't even look at the link I sent them regarding being exempt and have flown into a panic. They've even said they're "disappointed" that I couldn't "sort this out amongst ourselves" i.e. lie on the form and not admit I'd been to spain.
Amazingly bad way for a government department to behave.
Better that these clowns you are dealing with take the time to understand the rules. Obviously they haven't and are leaning in the TOO cautious panic mode. Well, the 2 weeks will pass quickly enough... only ~11 days left.
I also don't get why you can't support them if YOU don't go to their site and your co-worker can go if whatever needs doing can't be done remotely. Do they actually think you could infect them over the "wires"??? THAT (both not allowing co-worker to cover and maybe thinking being on-call can do something) is incredibly stupid.
Crazy thing is the guy who did on call in my place, and this is so funny, lives in scotland (7 hours drive away). So hes not going to come to site anyway!
It was more of what they thought was a penalty for me not doing what they wanted. They wanted me to lie and not tell anyone I'd been away but I owned up.
Thing is I do "on call" as a favour to them. I'm not contracted to do it and I don't get paid. I get 0.1 paid day off for each on call I do. Its not a lot!
So thats 0.2 days off I've lost out on by missing 2 days on call lol. Crazy. I dont care.
What it doesn't really say is that I believe most countries have a ban on US travelers - at the least they would require the 2 week isolation... kind of pointless, unless you have many more weeks of vaca available or plenty of money to allow an extended stay!
Then again, so many are out of work, have no income and have used up savings, who can afford to travel???
Hes got a scooter I bought for him. He said last night "Im not going to use it anymore I can;t walk home if it breaks down".
I've paid for "recovery". Basically they come out and collect you in the event of a problem.
Next excuse "how would I phone them?". Well you take the mobile phone I bought you out of the box and take it. Or since he only goes to local shops I'm sure someone would call for him.
Next excuse "I wouldnt like to ask someone". Jeez.
Sometimes I think my Dad thinks hes the only old person in the world. What on earth does he think other older people with scooters do? Once again, its always the same, give him a soultion and he just cannot be bothered.
Later in the conversation he moaned hes stuck at home all the time and I had a right go at him. Told him if he can't be bothered to get off his backside when everyone is sorting things out for him then its just tough and I'm not driving 30 mins each way every day when he makes no effort himself.
I pointed out that ok his cousins not going to be able to push him home or carry him home though. His answer "yes but he can sort it out if it breaks down".
Amazing bad attitude. Get someone else roped in to do something you can do yourself i.e. make one phone call.
When this blasted virus is over, get the cousin to shill for you...you're taking HIM to see the places he's considering and dad is coming along to return the scooter favor.
I don't care if dad's GP can't see it (my mom's doc didn't see it either). Your father is displaying the symptoms of cognitive decline. Not just being annoying.
Watch Teepa Snow videos. You will pick up some techniques.
Paul's boundaries mean he's not responding as dear Dad wants enough for his liking. So he's had to find a new servant (oops, sorry, cousin).
To me, the whole going out with the scooter thing has vibes of anxiety coming off it. He may be getting a bit unsure to go out alone. I can understand that, especially with all the new rules & changes. But he found himself a solution - good for him! Is the cousin about the same age? Be good company too. If he burns him out with demands, well the cousin can decide what to do about that.
Any other cousins in the area? Any in nice little aged homes? Maybe his name will somehow get onto their waitlist...