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Paul,

My oldest daughter has Crohn’s disease. It started out as ulcerative colitis. It’s extremely painful. It’s a frustrating situation.

I hope your MIL is feeling better.
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NeedHelpWithMom: The "saw" is crazy?
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Llama,

LOL. Obviously a typo!

Geeeeeez, sorry. I’m telling you that my autocorrect has a mind of it’s own and I think that it wants to make me look stupid!

I suppose that I should get into the habit of proofreading my messages after they post.

Of course it should read show!
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Need: I had to walk away to get a package delivery and wasn't finished with my prior post. Yea, gotcha.
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I LOVE 90 day fiancee! ;-)

And "Smothered" is good too!
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Paul,

So you’ve watched all of the episodes?

My youngest daughter has seen a couple of the episodes.

They used to do one called, Married At First Sight. That was crazy! The couple didn’t marry until the met at the alter! Professional therapist were the matchmakers. Interesting concept for marriage! Is that still on? Did you see that one?

Look at arranged marriages. Some work out. Some are a disaster!

I have not heard of Smothered. What is that one about?
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NeedHelp - Probably not all of them because they did 90 days after and 90 days before etc. so I think theres loads of seasons.

"Smothered" is where someone has a mother whos really overbearing etc. There are some right weird people on there!
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Hi! I finally have a computer that I can see! Thank you to the people who sent me best wishes after my Friday 13th trouble.

My daughter collected me off the plane from Alice Springs on Saturday afternoon, with an urgent call for me to go to the hospital immediately for the retinal detachment operation. The surgeon said that I had a small cataract that would need treatment in a year, so he will whip that off too. The operation took about 2 hours, a staff cast of thousands, and four separate local anaesthetics, each time three painful jabs into both ends of the eye socket. Lots of drops to take home, I can’t drive for three weeks, and I’m alone in the family flat in Adelaide - not a great Sunday. DH still in Alice Springs, working out what has to be done before he can start the 2-day drive down.

Sunday lunchtime, daughter phones to tell me that South Australia has a cluster of new Covid cases with community transmission (taken home by a worker in a quarantine facility), and is going into total lockdown. DH can’t come! End of the week, they discover that the most worrying ‘community transmission’ possibility is because one of the suspects lied about his movements to the contact tracers, and the major contact fears are unfounded. Fury all round! CNN actually ran an international story ‘One lie locks down a state’.

My sight started to improve gradually, but I had no computer in the flat. DH arrives absolutely knackered last night, and we come back to the farm. He’s just unloaded the computers! First time in about 4 years with no news story on Trump! Ten more days, then I go back to the hospital for checking. I didn’t realise this would be so much more major than cataract surgery. My advice is don’t detach your retina, it’s a lot of trouble you don’t need.

Thanks again, folks.
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Margaret, good to see you back. Glad the surgery went well. 💌
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Welcome back, Margaret. Glad your surgery went well and you can see on your computer.
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Oh gosh, Paul

It sounds like the people from Smothered could benefit from this site! LOL
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Margaret: Welcome back. Glad that your eye surgery went well. I am so sorry that you had a detached retina. So even though I had multiple back to back to back health issues, I got through the right eye cataract surgery. Left eye scheduled in a week. Take care, Margaret.💞💞
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Welcome back Margaret 😍❤️🙈
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Oh, Margaret! What an ordeal all around! So glad for you that it's mostly over.
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Llama and Margaret,

Glad your surgery is over. Hoping you will fully heal.

Best wishes for any future visits for follow up care and your additional surgery on your other eye Llama.
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NeedHelpWithMom: Thank you! I saw my opthamologist yesterday, which is a part of 7 different events/appointments. In my right eye, I now have 20/20 vision! I am flummoxed!
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Best wishes for a full recovery, Margaret. I had a detached retina 13 years ago, but mine didn't turn out quite as well. When I have cataract surgery in the other eye, I will be blind while the eye patch is on, so I'm trying to figure out the logistics.
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margaret - hope you're getting better. Wow 2 days to drive...... I remember watching a TV programme about Aus and saw how straight the road was across the desert.

I guess in the uk we can't get our head around those distances. To drive to Scotland from Wales is 8 hours and would be considered "miles away".

Just checked - lands end in the south to john o goats top of scotland 15 hours drive.
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First time in UK a friend & I hired a car. We asked how long to drive from outer London to Stonehenge. Was told it was VERY far away (the guy said he had never been) but we would probably need to stop overnight. I was reading the map but didn't note the scale 😂.

About an hour or hour & a half later Stonehenge came into view. Wow did we laugh!
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NHWM said: "Glad your surgery went well and you can see on your computer."
Margaret said: "First time in about 4 years with no news story on Trump!"

So, good thing no views of the T... might have ruined the work the doctor(s) did!

Best of luck to Margaret and Llamalover47...

jacobsonbob - you're going to need a seeing eye person to help you out! I often say if I have to lose anything, arm, leg, hand, hearing, etc, just NOT the eyesight! Of course now I have to add to that memories... Having dealt with mom and her dementia all these years, nope. Bring the meteor to my house when I'm in it!
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Paul said: "I guess in the uk we can't get our head around those distances."

I would concur... I think perhaps you're all spoiled by having a small enough country to be able to drive or take a train fairly quickly to get anywhere, and then going to the continent, again easy enough drive or take a train from one country to another...

Long ago I met someone from the UK when he was here for training. At a later date, he contacted me to say he'd be in Phoenix, so perhaps we could get together again... Um... it's about 2600 miles away, 39 hours (so it says now) by car, who knows how much by train!

worldatlas says:
1,339 miles from London east to Kiev, Ukraine

traveltips.usatoday.com says:
coast-to-coast drive across America ranges in distance from approximately 2,500 to 3,500 miles. (depends on where you start and finish.)

So yeah, needless to say, we didn't get to meet up!
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disgusted: Thank you so much!
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Thanks, disgusted too. I'm not sure whether I'm going to have it done in Ohio or in North Carolina, as there are advantages and disadvantages with each. I guess I have the winter to figure that out, as I expect to have it done in spring. Hopedly, by that time I'll have gotten the COVID vaccine, things will start opening up again, and some degree of "normalcy" will begin to resume.

Llamalover, I'm glad your first cataract surgery also went well, and I hope the other one goes equally well!

It's interesting what is being said about driving. I've driven all over the US (and portions of many other countries), so I know the importance of taking distances into account. People I know sometimes ask my advice when they're planning a long trip. While I lived in North Carolina, a coworker whose family members were planning to visit from Turkey told me he and his brother wanted to drive to California, stopping along the way, and had about 10 days to do this, so he wondered if this was feasible, to which I answered yes, but he would need to average close to 500 miles each day for the round trip. With two drivers he was willing to do so, and did it successfully. (When friends want to go somewhere, I try to encourage them to do so, and I enjoy it when they come back saying how much they enjoyed doing it.) The US is large, but that also means it offers a great variety of landscapes and climates, so one can explore as much or as little as s/he wants. I also like driving and exploring in Australia (sorry, Margaret--I haven't been in SA or NT yet!) and southern South America, as both continents have a lot of open spaces. The UK, of course, is smaller, but it's fairly easy to visit the continental European countries, and there is public transportation, which is less available in the US. (Paul, I haven't forgotten that gasoline/petrol is a LOT more expensive in the UK!)
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Jacobsonbob: Thank you so much! One more surgery to go, a total of 7 appointments and 28 days x2 eyes x3 different eye drops.
My DH is blind in one eye due to a bike accident years ago (not his fault). He did have cataract surgery in his good eye 2 years ago and did fine. Incidentally, he is MY eye drop inserter.
Good luck on your cataract surgery.
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Well MIL is still in hospital. Apart from her initial problems shes got heart problems now..... She'll be ok but looks like shes in hospital for another week at least.

My wife pretty much filled the doctors in on how it all happened. Not eating for weeks. And not sure if I mentioned before her alcohol consuption. (Its frightening for an 80 year old - we estimated she drank about 25-30 bottles of beer a week - way too much). Lets just say it all clicked when the doctors heard this.

So, in one incident shes managed to beat my Dad. As you can imagine, my wife, apart from being worried about her mother, is very very annoyed that a lot of this could have been avoided.

Even now the doctor phones my wife and tells her they explained it all to her mother, shes agreed she understands, then my wife phones her and she says she has no idea whats going on.
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Paul, make sure that your wife tells the docs that MIL is exhibiting confusion and does not understand what she is being told.

She needs a cognitive evaluation and clearly she cannot live alone.
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Thanks, Llamalover!
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Paul,

Hope your mother in law will start to feel better soon.

I can see why your wife is concerned. She needs care.

People often delay seeking help for their health concerns.

She’s where she needs to be now though. Glad she’s receiving care for her issues.

Has she always consumed that amount of alcohol?

I would mention any new or different behavior to the doctors because it may be an offshoot of other issues.
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Jacobsonbob: You're very welcome.
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"So, in one incident shes managed to beat my Dad."

Well, I guess that makes your dad now seem more like Mary Poppins? But, comparing one to another isn't the goal or reasonable, just different situations - stick with the plan for dad!!!

I agree with the comment from BarbBrooklyn. Wife needs to ensure doc knows of the confusion and can do some cognitive testing. Being a nurse, they might take her descriptions and concerns more seriously (then again, it could work against her!) If those treating MIL don't listen, encourage wife to pursue other avenues, esp while MIL is a "captive" audience...

Hopefully her siblings will work WITH your wife instead of against her! Sounds like MIL does need to be in a supervised residence (NOT yours!) Regular AL (not sure what levels they have in the UK) would not prevent her from having beer or eating poorly - a little more supervision and oversight, but generally AL here helps with things like mobility and medication management. Meals, etc can be done with the other residents, or can be done in one's own space, providing one's own food. This would be little better than her current living situation. A plan can be set up, but generally I don't think they can force the issues.

Hopefully there is a happy medium - maybe even bringing help to her home, to provide good meals and ensure she eats properly. If she can't drive, then the beers can be reduced over time or eliminated (actually eliminate would be better, since she's not able to have them while hospitalized now, it gets it out of her system! Don't let it come back, if possible.)

But, start with letting her get well and tested for cognitive issues. At least wife can discuss with siblings and perhaps come up with some plans.
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