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NHWM--I'm glad you enjoy this! :-) I have a slide projector given to me by my father in the mid-1990s, and I haven't used it much as this was getting toward the end of the slide era.

Back as long ago as the late 1960s I was visiting a family who needed to go on an errand while I was there, and welcomed me to use their sound system. I thanked them, and after they left, I looked at it and wondered "Now, how do I turn this on? And what are all these additional buttons and sliding switches for?" So I ended up not using it, figuring I would end up damaging something. I remembered when a phonograph had off/volume and speed switches--16, 33, 45 (with an adapter for the center), and 78, although I never saw a record requiring the 16. The "needle" was like a staple missing one of the two ends. You either put the records on one at a time, or some fancy ones allowed you to stack a few on a spindle, and they would drop one at a time. I wonder if Joe Biden, who is a decade older than I am, remembers a "record player" more basic than this!

My sister bought a new Mazda a few years ago having a manual transmission, which wasn't easy to find; maybe she's simply a "purist". I've driven a few in the past that belonged to other people, but I regret that I've never had a chance to drive one having a manual transmission "on the column". However, I'm thankful that I've had the opportunity to travel in a Martin 404--a piston-engined aircraft that first appeared in 1947; other people hated to fly in them. but I recognized it as the finale of an era that was about to end.
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Paul, is there any chance your father would listen if it were explained to him that having lots of stuff in the freezer will help maintain the cold when it is opened (as opposed to warm outside air rushing in and needing to be cooled)? You could tell him it might help him save electricity. You could promise to visit him as often even if you aren't bringing a handful of groceries!
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Paul,

So sorry that you and your wife are in this situation.

It’s so hard making these decisions.

Has she expressed to your wife what she would like in a situation like this?
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Sorry to hear this Paul. Let the medics do their stuff over the next week or so, then look at the options. If your MIL is capable of decision making, you might then have to let her make her choice on what happens next, assuming what she chooses is doable. It might not turn out to be what you/your wife would choose. Best to try not to overthink it all at the moment until you have more information, although I accept this is easier said than done....
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polar - well shes having an MRI next day or two but they've found "something". Of course, wife has spoken to the consultant but I think whether its something bad or not so bad they need to operate anyway.

Not sure if anyone has even mentioned the do nothing option to be honest. We're all waiting for next week to see deffo whats going on to be honest.

Shes been in a few weeks now, originally they thought inflamatory bowel disease but they cant control the infections at the moment. My understanding is if they did nothing she;d go septic and that would be fatal.

Yeh shes 80 years old. I dunno. Before this she was pretty good. She has always had a bit of a longing though to go since her husband died 18+ year ago. (part of the not looking after herself - her attitude used to be I dont care now hes gone).

My wife is worried that if the options are bag, and/or she can't live at home then she wont go for it.

I am really sad. Yes she can be very annoying at times (not as bad as Dad) but shes nice. My daugher whos 7 absolutely adores her - I just can't even think about how upset she'd be in she goes.... :-(((((((
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Bob,

You tickle me, actually crack me up at times! Hahaha

I get it! My husband amazed my children when he broke out ‘slides’ of his trip to Germany that he took right after his high school graduation.

It was a summer program for students offered by Georgetown University for future engineering students.

The following fall he attended Tulane university here in New Orleans.

My kids knew nothing about a projector and slides!

Oh, those old fashioned home movies too that people had. Hahaha

Oh wait, my husband had a reel to reel that he had his music collection on. I had the ordinary turntable.

So many things have changed, huh? We didn’t have computers or cell phones in our youth.

Millennials have been very hi tech since they were toddlers!

Everything from our generation is totally outdated, gone forever now. I am always amazed at the advances in medicine.

My friend’s son just told her that he was selling his sports car that has a standard shift because when he has to park it in a public parking lot, the attendants don’t know how to drive a car that isn’t an automatic!
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NHWM--Yes, I'm definitely a product of the 20th century. Frankly, I wish I had a real camera--I have a hand-me-down smartphone with no "phone account" that I use strictly as a camera, and I find it rather miserable to use for this purpose. I also have a couple old Sony Mavica cameras that record on a 3" floppy disk, and I like using them but they are limited as to the resolution of the photos, but very easy to handle and use. (Now, if I could just retrofit one with the camera from a smartphone....)

I have cruise control which I sometimes use on trips, but I find I generally get better gas mileage without it because it can't "anticipate" hills. Otherwise, I like to do the driving myself without a lot of bells and whistles.

Chriscat83--Yes, I've seen some of these informational videos on YouTube, so I should have surmised they would have been on TV. I tried looking at eBay to see if any of these pamphlets were available, but didn't find any. The US used to have pamphlets named "Know Your Money" published by the Secret Service, so of course they had instructions regarding the detection of counterfeit money, and I have a couple versions of these. BTW, I recall reading that the first generation of 1 pound coins was subject to rather extensive counterfeiting, necessitating the use of the new bimetallic ones.
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Grocery stores deliver...that may be the only way...there’s also Catholic Charities...or by schools if you need...hugs 🤗
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Paul, do you know if anyone has asked MIL what she is thinking about all that goes on with her and whether she wants the proposed / possible treatment?

If she pulls through, her life most likely will be spent in a nursing home somewhere. A sad existence. If I were in her current state of health and current prognosis, having lived 80 some years (right?), I probably would want a swift and painless transition to the next realm. A slow decline into oblivion is like crawling through h3ll.
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Bob,

My daughters would say that you are out of the loop!

I like simplicity too. I do love a smart phone for photos. Does anyone use a camera anymore? LOL

I love the backup camera in my car! I would love a self driving car. A chauffeur would be even better! 😊

My mother never used ‘cruise’ control in her car! She said that SHE wanted to be in control of her car!

Mom didn’t like when daddy used the ‘cruise’ control. He told her to “Get with it!” He also told her to stop being a backseat driver. Hahaha 🤣

Mom was always a backseat driver when she rode with me. I told her that she had two choices.

1. Allow me to drive without her backseat driving.

OR

2. She could walk, call someone else or a cab.

No more backseat driving from mom! 😊
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Paul,

So sorry that your mother in law is going through a rough time.

Hoping that she will receive the best care possible.
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On a slightly different note, MIL is still im hospital. Pretty serious - they're talking about bowel resection now which would mean a bag.... Shes not going to be happy.

I do feel sorry for her at the moment. Its a tough time with no visitors too.

If she pulls through who knows what will happen if shes got the bag. Shes useless at looking after herself as it is. I guess its going to come up where shes going to live etc.

Alas, a lot of this is due to her not looking after herself. Smoked heavily for 30 years, hardly eats at home, and drinks way too much alcohol than is good for her....
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Jacobsonbob, there were TV ads (public information films really) explaining decimalisation. I bet they are on You Tube somewhere. Pamphlets too - we all got one at school and our maths lessons were all about converting from old to new money. Know what you mean about car gadgets- when my new car arrived earlier this year I switched off virtually everything. I would rather drive than sit there while the car apparently does it all for you!
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Thanks, Chriscat83--besides my own collecting and studies, I've seen a few of the educational videos in which decimalisation is discussed, but of course not everyone had access to something like these (filmstrips?) back in 1971. I suppose there were a number of pamphlets printed to explain the change. In the US, there were pamphlets printed to introduce denomination of paper money when each "big-headed" version came out, describing most of the security features.

My parents never had a computer. My father didn't want one while my mother was only mildly interested and never pursued it. I guess I'm "behind the times" too. because I don't use a smart phone, and barely use a flip phone--my life simply isn't so complicated that I need all this! I bought a new car a year ago, and have never used anything on the screen except the back-up camera images.
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Barb, I’m not sure what to do about it....
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It's loss of executive functioning, to be sure. Almost certainly vascular changes are responsible.
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The not washing things enough is a problem here too. When mum goes into her supported living trial stay in January, I'm washing everything she's left at home as I don't think some clothes have been washed or dry cleaned in years. Never sure if this is because we can't be bothered, it's too much trouble and unnecessary or we are unable to. Don't think it's the latter as she does a laundry wash each week but it's never very much. Refuses to accept that this is a problem though.
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So true Chriscat, hoarder or miser!

My DH did a very small grocery shop last week & my hoarder pile of books is growing... Oh dear!

My Mother is about control too - BIG time. But not Paul's Dad's attention-seeking control style. Hers is more environment: leave that-I don't need it-it will do-don't ever wash anything.
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And Beatty, it seems to go from one extreme to the other: either hoarding stuff, or as you say, buying tiny amounts every day or so.
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I think in Paul's father's case, it is probably all about CONTROL. By drip feeding requests for things on a regular basis, he is ensuring Paul gives him the attention he wants. Been there, done that, my mother is exactly the same.
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My Mother started shopping like that. Not a week's worth anymore - just a few items several times a week instead eg that night's meal, 2 tins of soup, 1 packet of biscuits.

This was pre-TIA being DX. The small changes I noticed (shopping, housework, bathing) may well have been due to vascular changes already present.

Working memory is required to plan meals, longer grocery lists & for banking. Smaller amounts easier. Hmmmm??
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Oh and last week he actually said "oh well its a break for you coming to visit me isn't it?". I just looked at him.

Yeh, I love working all day, rushing around to get out the house, seeing my kids for a short time before youngest goes to bed, getting 5 things in the supermarket, driving 25 miles each way, listening to him going on about how ill he is, then finally getting home for my evening meal at 9pm. Its like a lovely little midweek holiday :-(
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Visit tonight... Had a bit of a go at him last week.

Despite me telling him I'll visit anyway hes still justifying it by getting me to get groceries for him at the same time. Last week I had to get 5 items for him.

As I've said before, hes got a massive chest freezer, fridge. He keeps it empty- its just crazy. There is no reason to do this. Bear in mind my brother visits to get things like milk etc.

I'm working in the day, sometimes I'm feding the kids waiting for wife to come home, then I've got to trek to the supermarket, sometimes queue to get in, for 5 items. Most of which are not perishable. Add as hour on to my "visit".

I tried to tell him - I WILL STILL VISIT. His next "thing" - yes but I don't like spending a lot of money in one go, I like to keep it in my bank account. Are you kidding me? (Bear in mind hes got £40K in there)

He just cannot see how much hassle it is....

Deep down I'm sure he likes making me do it because hes got power then. Hes got me doing something for him. Its weird but I think its true....
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Paul, I know that UCAS building! Yes, Cheltonians are regarded as posh - I would say a bit snobbish actually. But I love its Regency buildings and stunning surrounding countryside. I expect your dad would say "Cheltenham's not for the likes of us!!".
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Chriscat - I've got to admit I LOVE Gloucester. Made some great friends working there..... I've worked in cheltenham too (UCAS near the racecourse) and its dead posh there....
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Jacobsonbob, excellent UK decimalisation knowledge! I was a child when this happened. We were all taught about it at school in the 12 months leading up to the switch over so it was quite straightforward for us. Shame my grandparents didn't get the same preparation. They spent the next FIFTEEN years saying " what's that in old money? " every time they bought anything in the shops, when everything was price marked in "new pence ". That same inability to adjust with the times persists in my family today. Neither of my parents ever switched on a computer nor used the internet. How is this so?
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"I'm on the way honestly - better than I was." Paul, that's a good sign, as only YOU can really know how you are doing!

disgusted too--Farthings and shillings basically disappeared from the system on February 15, 1971, known as "Decimal Day" although the shilling coins were still used as 5 "new" pence coins. The farthing actually disappeared (demonetized) much earlier because its purchasing power was so low as to render it essentially useless. Now the new pence (without the word "new" anymore) and pounds are the only units in circulation, with 100 pence = 1 pound. Among too many other things, I collect British coins and enjoy talking about them (although I live in the US), and particularly like the pre-decimal system (of farthings, half-pennies, pennies, threepence, groats, sixpence, shillings, florins, half-crowns and crowns and a few odd denominations, with 20 shillings or 240 pence to a pound sterling). After all, a shilling was also called a "bob"!
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Disgustedtoo,

Or a very cheap tip! I have a friend who does that and the rest of us cover the tip.

It’s embarrassing that she’s so cheap, so we end up tipping extra.

The waitstaff deserve to be paid. That’s their salary.
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Partly smart-aleck, but reading that he won't spend a lousy nickel on something (farthing? shilling?), he would probably want to stay in the car. Even cheap hotels cost money, and it's a cheap hotel so it isn't worth it! God forbid they expect a tip!!
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Hahaha 🤣, Disgustedtoo

Very funny! Yeah, that’s about right for Paul’s dad.

I know that you are being facetious but you did make me giggle. Thanks for the laugh.
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