Always is when I go away for the weekend with my family...
You can guarantee when I come back he's "been ill". EVERY TIME. So I phoned him - first sentence "I've been ill". Like its my fault because I went away!
STILL not taking all his medication that the GP gave him so I offer ZERO sympathy. Basically, wants me to tell him how he can feel better - "Take the meds the GP has given you Dad, if that fails then go an see you're GP but I'm not a doctor."
His words - "I desperately need you to visit the weekend." "I've got no food in the house" (Brother lives literally 5 mins drive from him - I live 35-40 mins. Brother is probably laying low). Anyway, he knows my car is in the garage so I'm struggling for transport and he knows my wife works weekends so may need our other car. So I tell him I can't promise. Anyone would have thought I'd told him I'd murdered the family next door.
Apparently, I'm "letting him down" and "need to arrange something", and "wife needs to understand". Of course the standby offer of home delivery groceries is not good enough - he doesn't want to spend the £30 minimum - they have to be hand delivered by me!
I've tried setting boundaries, I've said no can do, I've tried ignoring, I've tried just not doing. Give him his due he's relentless in his quest to get me to do what he wants!
Back as long ago as the late 1960s I was visiting a family who needed to go on an errand while I was there, and welcomed me to use their sound system. I thanked them, and after they left, I looked at it and wondered "Now, how do I turn this on? And what are all these additional buttons and sliding switches for?" So I ended up not using it, figuring I would end up damaging something. I remembered when a phonograph had off/volume and speed switches--16, 33, 45 (with an adapter for the center), and 78, although I never saw a record requiring the 16. The "needle" was like a staple missing one of the two ends. You either put the records on one at a time, or some fancy ones allowed you to stack a few on a spindle, and they would drop one at a time. I wonder if Joe Biden, who is a decade older than I am, remembers a "record player" more basic than this!
My sister bought a new Mazda a few years ago having a manual transmission, which wasn't easy to find; maybe she's simply a "purist". I've driven a few in the past that belonged to other people, but I regret that I've never had a chance to drive one having a manual transmission "on the column". However, I'm thankful that I've had the opportunity to travel in a Martin 404--a piston-engined aircraft that first appeared in 1947; other people hated to fly in them. but I recognized it as the finale of an era that was about to end.
So sorry that you and your wife are in this situation.
It’s so hard making these decisions.
Has she expressed to your wife what she would like in a situation like this?
Not sure if anyone has even mentioned the do nothing option to be honest. We're all waiting for next week to see deffo whats going on to be honest.
Shes been in a few weeks now, originally they thought inflamatory bowel disease but they cant control the infections at the moment. My understanding is if they did nothing she;d go septic and that would be fatal.
Yeh shes 80 years old. I dunno. Before this she was pretty good. She has always had a bit of a longing though to go since her husband died 18+ year ago. (part of the not looking after herself - her attitude used to be I dont care now hes gone).
My wife is worried that if the options are bag, and/or she can't live at home then she wont go for it.
I am really sad. Yes she can be very annoying at times (not as bad as Dad) but shes nice. My daugher whos 7 absolutely adores her - I just can't even think about how upset she'd be in she goes.... :-(((((((
You tickle me, actually crack me up at times! Hahaha
I get it! My husband amazed my children when he broke out ‘slides’ of his trip to Germany that he took right after his high school graduation.
It was a summer program for students offered by Georgetown University for future engineering students.
The following fall he attended Tulane university here in New Orleans.
My kids knew nothing about a projector and slides!
Oh, those old fashioned home movies too that people had. Hahaha
Oh wait, my husband had a reel to reel that he had his music collection on. I had the ordinary turntable.
So many things have changed, huh? We didn’t have computers or cell phones in our youth.
Millennials have been very hi tech since they were toddlers!
Everything from our generation is totally outdated, gone forever now. I am always amazed at the advances in medicine.
My friend’s son just told her that he was selling his sports car that has a standard shift because when he has to park it in a public parking lot, the attendants don’t know how to drive a car that isn’t an automatic!
I have cruise control which I sometimes use on trips, but I find I generally get better gas mileage without it because it can't "anticipate" hills. Otherwise, I like to do the driving myself without a lot of bells and whistles.
Chriscat83--Yes, I've seen some of these informational videos on YouTube, so I should have surmised they would have been on TV. I tried looking at eBay to see if any of these pamphlets were available, but didn't find any. The US used to have pamphlets named "Know Your Money" published by the Secret Service, so of course they had instructions regarding the detection of counterfeit money, and I have a couple versions of these. BTW, I recall reading that the first generation of 1 pound coins was subject to rather extensive counterfeiting, necessitating the use of the new bimetallic ones.
If she pulls through, her life most likely will be spent in a nursing home somewhere. A sad existence. If I were in her current state of health and current prognosis, having lived 80 some years (right?), I probably would want a swift and painless transition to the next realm. A slow decline into oblivion is like crawling through h3ll.
My daughters would say that you are out of the loop!
I like simplicity too. I do love a smart phone for photos. Does anyone use a camera anymore? LOL
I love the backup camera in my car! I would love a self driving car. A chauffeur would be even better! 😊
My mother never used ‘cruise’ control in her car! She said that SHE wanted to be in control of her car!
Mom didn’t like when daddy used the ‘cruise’ control. He told her to “Get with it!” He also told her to stop being a backseat driver. Hahaha 🤣
Mom was always a backseat driver when she rode with me. I told her that she had two choices.
1. Allow me to drive without her backseat driving.
OR
2. She could walk, call someone else or a cab.
No more backseat driving from mom! 😊
So sorry that your mother in law is going through a rough time.
Hoping that she will receive the best care possible.
I do feel sorry for her at the moment. Its a tough time with no visitors too.
If she pulls through who knows what will happen if shes got the bag. Shes useless at looking after herself as it is. I guess its going to come up where shes going to live etc.
Alas, a lot of this is due to her not looking after herself. Smoked heavily for 30 years, hardly eats at home, and drinks way too much alcohol than is good for her....
My parents never had a computer. My father didn't want one while my mother was only mildly interested and never pursued it. I guess I'm "behind the times" too. because I don't use a smart phone, and barely use a flip phone--my life simply isn't so complicated that I need all this! I bought a new car a year ago, and have never used anything on the screen except the back-up camera images.
My DH did a very small grocery shop last week & my hoarder pile of books is growing... Oh dear!
My Mother is about control too - BIG time. But not Paul's Dad's attention-seeking control style. Hers is more environment: leave that-I don't need it-it will do-don't ever wash anything.
This was pre-TIA being DX. The small changes I noticed (shopping, housework, bathing) may well have been due to vascular changes already present.
Working memory is required to plan meals, longer grocery lists & for banking. Smaller amounts easier. Hmmmm??
Yeh, I love working all day, rushing around to get out the house, seeing my kids for a short time before youngest goes to bed, getting 5 things in the supermarket, driving 25 miles each way, listening to him going on about how ill he is, then finally getting home for my evening meal at 9pm. Its like a lovely little midweek holiday :-(
Despite me telling him I'll visit anyway hes still justifying it by getting me to get groceries for him at the same time. Last week I had to get 5 items for him.
As I've said before, hes got a massive chest freezer, fridge. He keeps it empty- its just crazy. There is no reason to do this. Bear in mind my brother visits to get things like milk etc.
I'm working in the day, sometimes I'm feding the kids waiting for wife to come home, then I've got to trek to the supermarket, sometimes queue to get in, for 5 items. Most of which are not perishable. Add as hour on to my "visit".
I tried to tell him - I WILL STILL VISIT. His next "thing" - yes but I don't like spending a lot of money in one go, I like to keep it in my bank account. Are you kidding me? (Bear in mind hes got £40K in there)
He just cannot see how much hassle it is....
Deep down I'm sure he likes making me do it because hes got power then. Hes got me doing something for him. Its weird but I think its true....
disgusted too--Farthings and shillings basically disappeared from the system on February 15, 1971, known as "Decimal Day" although the shilling coins were still used as 5 "new" pence coins. The farthing actually disappeared (demonetized) much earlier because its purchasing power was so low as to render it essentially useless. Now the new pence (without the word "new" anymore) and pounds are the only units in circulation, with 100 pence = 1 pound. Among too many other things, I collect British coins and enjoy talking about them (although I live in the US), and particularly like the pre-decimal system (of farthings, half-pennies, pennies, threepence, groats, sixpence, shillings, florins, half-crowns and crowns and a few odd denominations, with 20 shillings or 240 pence to a pound sterling). After all, a shilling was also called a "bob"!
Or a very cheap tip! I have a friend who does that and the rest of us cover the tip.
It’s embarrassing that she’s so cheap, so we end up tipping extra.
The waitstaff deserve to be paid. That’s their salary.
Very funny! Yeah, that’s about right for Paul’s dad.
I know that you are being facetious but you did make me giggle. Thanks for the laugh.