Always is when I go away for the weekend with my family...
You can guarantee when I come back he's "been ill". EVERY TIME. So I phoned him - first sentence "I've been ill". Like its my fault because I went away!
STILL not taking all his medication that the GP gave him so I offer ZERO sympathy. Basically, wants me to tell him how he can feel better - "Take the meds the GP has given you Dad, if that fails then go an see you're GP but I'm not a doctor."
His words - "I desperately need you to visit the weekend." "I've got no food in the house" (Brother lives literally 5 mins drive from him - I live 35-40 mins. Brother is probably laying low). Anyway, he knows my car is in the garage so I'm struggling for transport and he knows my wife works weekends so may need our other car. So I tell him I can't promise. Anyone would have thought I'd told him I'd murdered the family next door.
Apparently, I'm "letting him down" and "need to arrange something", and "wife needs to understand". Of course the standby offer of home delivery groceries is not good enough - he doesn't want to spend the £30 minimum - they have to be hand delivered by me!
I've tried setting boundaries, I've said no can do, I've tried ignoring, I've tried just not doing. Give him his due he's relentless in his quest to get me to do what he wants!
Even if he does and even if they do, it's your word against theirs - sorry dad, this is exactly what happened and I'm sticking with it! YOU become the broken record.
Not sure if he generally pays in cash, but right now no one wants ANY cash payments! If he is so intent on paying, he KNOWS how much the cost was (for now, forget the increase) and can pay that by check or CC. He doesn't need a bill to make the payment! But, that would be sensible, wouldn't it? Oops, forgot who we're dealing with for a moment...
But certainly use the POA business whenever you can - makes for a good excuse. With all his anxieties, sorry dad they are cracking down and will only talk with the subscriber! In general that is true. The only time it wasn't is making changes to billing address for mom when I took over her financials. They didn't care where the bill gets sent, so long as it gets paid! Even the town, when I called to get the amount of one quarterly tax bill (had copies of the other 3 but needed that one for taxes) - when I just explained the situation SHE offered to change the billing address! No POA was needed for any of these, other than the CC (and they were PITAs about it - I think it has to do with adding "digital" access to POAs, as those drawn up a while ago didn't cover these issues!)
Mainly because he cannot be bothered to sort out his hearing aid, or, even spend any money getting a more advanced one. (Its free on the NHS but my understanding is they are the basic ones - you can get much better ones if you pay).
Hes tried some good ones in the past. Remember he wanted me to phone his GP to make a complaint because they refused to come out to visit him. (After he'd tried to call them out for about the 10th time in 2 weeks).
He is so selfish over this. I've told him these people are probably very busy because of increased demand, the office is probably closed. They normally collect money weekly - they've obviously decided to do it this way because its easier.
Quite why Dad thinks he deserves special treatment because he doesnt like this plan is beyond me.
I know whats going through his head based on past experience. What if they forget about me? I'll get in trouble because I haven't paid? What if they send the police around because I didn't pay?
Hes like this. When he was more mobile (until I talked him into paying via the bank) he'd get his electricity bill and be outside the post office at 9am (the post came early) paying the bill "just in case they needed it straight away". Thats Dad for you. He was out with me once and ran down the road at full speed because a fire engine drove past us - it could have been going to one of 200 locations. Dads answer "it could have been my house on fire"
I've tried to calmly explain many times in the past. You can't live with "what ifs" like this. Or expect others to jump because of it. Of course, I think theres deffo an element on anxiety/depressions here but he'll never see this.
Bad news will likely be when they finally give him the bill - be prepared to ignore all his whining and complaining about the cost!
Gotta love (not) people who have a phone and a contact number, but call someone else to do the dirty work! He wants to have them sort it out, he needs to call - stand your ground there!
Before looking it up, decided OAP must mean Old Ass Person! :-D
(actual is old age pensioner, but if the shoe fits...)
I would just tell him they need to speak to him, not you. You have no "authority", as he hasn't signed any kind of POA for you! Applies to both MoW and the TV provider. You are not the subscriber, so you can't do anything. He wants this done, dial their number dad!
He gets "meals on wheels". When this started the said no more cash payments, we'll sort out a bill in time. Obviously, they're busy with probably more wanting it etc. and no-one in the office.
Dad asks the poor lady who delivers EVERY WEEK. I told him Dad look they're busy just be patient and wait, they know you exist they will bill you in good time.
Last night hes trying to tell me how he REALLY wants to pay now and hes "had enough" of waiting. ITs over £100 he owes. Economy might collapse because of this! ha ha.
Hes had a letter now saying its going up 15p. And its got a phone number on it! Hes got his wish. He wants me to phone URGENTLY at 9am today to get them to sort his bill.
This is Dad all over. Its what he wants. These poor people are probably working hard to make sure old and vulnerable get fed, and plan to sort payment out when they can but its not good enough for him. Even though I've pointed out to him the practicality here he still wants what he wants.
I'm not even going to phone them. Its just embarrassing. Chances are office is going to be closed anyway. He wants an "update" tonight - no chance. I'll phone him in a few days and tell him no answer.
He also wants me to phone his satellite TV provider and tell them hes an OAP and he doesnt want to pay as much as he does, he can't afford it, and can he have a discount? Ummmmm NOOOOOO I am not doing that.
If he had no money I would but when hes got £40K in the bank it just doesn't sit right with me doing something like this.
Retired people never had to pay that or kids. Also, in wales it got abolished a few years ago so it doesnt cost a penny to get a drug from your doctor.
Lucky really. Dad would have keeled over by now if he had to pay for anything lol.
In the uk, things like hayfever tablets and painkillers are cheap anyway. People are encouraged to just buy them. They reckon it costs the NHS £10 or so anyway in admin fees if people insist they have to have it for free......
Anxiety/Depression - No chance with Dad. I've had problems in the past (as have a lot of people obviously). NEVER EVER told Dad. He thinks it doesnt exist and people need to "pull your socks up and stop moaning". Great eh?
Now, if they have an antibody test that is close to 100% accurate, I would do that. If antibodies show up, it would mean we've been "infected", and if we have no reaction, then more than likely won't later if exposed again. Obviously it would not mean boogeying around just looking to test this theory, but it would make me feel more assured that I likely won't get ill. Even better, having antibodies combined with being O-, I would like to donate blood and/or plasma. I don't think it matters for plasma, but I am sure they need blood donations for other issues and I am considered a universal donor.
While they are at it, study my blood, find out why I didn't get symptoms and also why I have NEVER had the flu, ever and have never had a flu shot! Full time working, going to school, raising 2 kids, I have been exposed plenty of times. Come to think of it, I don't ever recall seeing either of my parents sick long enough to say they had the flu either, nor my brothers or my kids. There must be something people like me have that protects us - perhaps it can be used to protect others, than trying to grow stuff in chicken eggs! I'm willing to donate it, if they can figure out what it is (think Omega Man or the later version I Am Legend, although they had some kind of antidote injected, mine is au naturel!)
Clearly the high daily death numbers in the UK (they don't break it down further, you're all lumped together) have come down quite a bit. The places to watch are those that open up a lot of their business and/or cancel the lockdowns. It may take a few weeks to really show the aftereffects. One would guess that, yes, the number of cases and perhaps deaths will go up, but it depends more on how much these go up!
The link above shows every country that reports and there are soooo many places that have very few cases/deaths... Once world travel opens up, many of these places, which are likely small, poorer countries may suffer some serious infection and death rates - as I noted in another post, if you can look at the NH map, the central "core" of infections radiates out, with fewer cases on the outer "edges", but as commerce opens up that could change drastically!
As Paul has noted, you could step outside your house and encounter death anywhere. In this pandemic, just take precautions, like any other endeavor. You look before crossing the road, you have to watch out for other drivers (drive defensively!), etc. Same with this virus - use all the precautions you can, once they have "stabilized" the infection rates. What the idiots clamoring to get out or not take ANY precautions don't get is we don't want to overwhelm the medical staff/facilities. If you do, then you might not get access to treatment should you happen to catch it and get very ill! Plus, keeping distance, wearing mask, washing hands, etc is to try to reduce the chance that you infect others, in the event that you happen to be infected, contagious, but have no symptoms.
Latest update at mom's facility is still reporting no cases. The state still recommends lock down for them and NHs, with testing focused on NHs at this time. So far no recommendation to test at their facility. I can't even imagine trying to perform that test on the residents in the MC unit! From what I've read, I wouldn't even want that test done on me!
Well, since the "aside" in that dictionary description does say "Nob may have begun as a slang word for "head,"", I guess that would make sense... Different usage, but I guess if that's another use for it, probably wouldn't want to be called that!
PROGRESS!!!!!
1) "I'm getting used to his daily "I've been so ill" and "I just watched the news its getting worse every day"."
2) "I think hes worked out I'm sort of ignoring his "ill" pleas."
It just may be that progress in #1 is leading to progress in #2!!
KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK! YAY! He may never stop, but so long as YOU can continue to let it all roll off like raindrops, you won't suffer getting upset by it all!
Won't pay 2 (sorry no pound symbol!) for a hayfever pill - anti-worry pills prob cost a lot more...
I'm not a big one for meds, but they can work & I do wish my Mother would add some to her daily life. (I don't think they make 'em big enough or strong enough 😔).
All these other issues no-one cares about. In the UK, its getting shameful if you even suggest it. You're "putting money before peoples lives". Its not that simple.
I WAS member of a community group on facebook. It was FULL of people, "I saw someone in this street and they were closer than 2m". Jeez its getting silly.
People are believing anything the media writes at the moment. The entire country is obsessed with it.
The school thing is causing massive arguments too. "I'm not risking killing my kids by sending them back to school". Its utter chaos.
I'm a mathematical person, I do work in IT after all. I see numbers and probabilities that don't lie. Yes I may get it, I may die (I am over 50 after all) but apart from being overweight I've got no health issues. BUT I drove to work the other day and a massive lorry pulled straight in front of me, I've got more chance of dying that way at the moment!
So I'll be going to Florida - if trump lets us in!
Same every time. Of course, I think hes worked out I'm sort of ignoring his "ill" pleas. If you remember, it does look very much like he had hayfever. He called a doctor out and told them it was urgent for that. I'd told him to get brother to go to the pharmacy and buy the hayfever tabled a week before (they cost approx £2) but he didnt want to. Hey ho.
So "its getting worse". Its clearly not. I dont think anyone can say its getting worse in the uk. Think we;re down to approx 35% of what the peak was now.
He does like the drama though.
In wales, its a bit more strict. I dont agree but there we go. So far Dad hasnt made any demands for change - so far!!!!
Just heard on the news, due to the shut down, child abuse has gone unreported as the kids are now stuck at home with the abusers with no way to call for help, same with spousal abuse, that is also up. The massive unemployment is now causing more depression, more drinking and more drug abuse. All these will be followed by more suicides, more deaths from overdose. The elderly are withering away and becoming mentally dead. Some died, not from the virus, but from their bodies giving up due to depression and isolation.
And all of the above are just the tip of the iceberg. Yes, just the tip. People are putting off health treatments which in turn result in worsening conditions and late diagnoses and in turn early deaths. There will be closing of hospitals due to not having enough patients to remain open. I haven't even touched on crimes yet. Our smart politicians decided to release criminals from jails so they wouldn't catch the virus. Just on the news today, one person was murdered by a criminal that should not have been let out.
So, Paul, go visit Florida if you want. Live your life unafraid. I also heard Vegas is opening up, too.
Let Dad's constant complains become background noise. I do hope the bet shop will open up soon so at least he can go and have some social interaction.
Nobby, short for Noble. That could catch on?
Sadly, in areas that are not as populated, hospitals have been laying off staff as they don't have the need.. yet... Restricting "elective" treatments as well as other necessities has reduced income for hospitals - there has been some help for them from the "stimulus", but in some cases it might not be enough.
Problem is, in those less populated areas (not necessarily rural, but they will be impacted negatively too, as many don't have any medical services), IF the virus gets ramped up there, the hospital services are more limited and it *may* result in overwhelming those limited services. Caution, rather than isolation, is what we must maintain!
I'm in NH, and one of the concerns about opening up too much/too fast here is the lake "district". A lot of tourism/activities, but VERY limited hospital services. Given that MA, just south of us, has such a high rate of infection and deaths, and many of the "tourists" come from there (or even CT and NY/NJ, also hot spots), it could spell disaster! NH has a nice map showing where/how many cases, and the majority are in the SE area, bordering NE MA and a lot of people live there and work in MA. Those areas are more densely populated too, but there is a lot of work/travel/vacationing/shopping, etc that goes on between the two states. Further N and W in NH, it is less populated and there are fewer cases, most likely due to lower population AND less interaction... at the moment!
What I don't really get is how opening hair salons, bowling alleys, tattoo and massage parlors, etc really does for "opening up the economy." Do they really think these kinds of employment keep our country afloat? Do they not understand that many of these require rather intimate "contact"? I am baffled by these decisions. There must be any number of jobs that can be "restored" that allow for mitigation - restaurants only allowing certain numbers in, plus spacing is one, but there must be many other places that had to shut down that can reopen carefully before these AND contribute to restoring the economy better than these places! These first choices seem very misguided!
I just read an article about NHs as well - many rely on income from self-pay clients and Medicare coverage (limited to 100 days for rehab) to offset any Medicaid clients, and in addition to losing many clients to this virus, there are fewer needing rehab (reduced elective surgery) and reluctance to choosing NH for those who might self-pay. The LTC business is going to really need to change somehow (not just NHs.) Our mother is in a private pay IL/AL/MC and so far they've kept the virus out! Scary that she will need to get to a treatment next week, hoping she doesn't get anything and expose the rest! This is the only allowed "outing" at the moment - necessary medical treatment. YB tried to argue this wasn't necessary, but with dementia and serious hearing loss, losing her eyesight would be devastating! This appt was rescheduled from April, is a procedure done every 3-4 months, to preserve her eyesight! The facility is in one of the high infection spots in MA (she lives about 10min from me in NH), but they have MANY restrictions/protocols, so fingers crossed that nothing happens!
Interesting about "Nob" and "Nobby":
"Nobby comes from the noun nob, which is used in British English to mean "one in a superior position in life." (Nob may have begun as a slang word for "head," but etymologists aren't completely sure.")
From:
www.merriam-webster.com › dictionary › nobby
I think if I were a red-head/Ranga, I would consider being called a GingerNob a compliment!
Short for GingerNob
Practically, we can't all stay in for the next year. I already know people whos lives have been ruined by losing their jobs etc. I dread to think how this is going to affect the suicide rate. :-(
Yes, make special efforts for the vulnerable and most likely to be affected. BUT, everyone else the chances of catching and having serious health affects are diminishing by the day. People who say "Oh I'm not going out until there are ZERO cases in the world".
You cross the road, drive your car, get on a plane. VERY small chances, and you can be careful (if you're driving/walking) but you don;t stop doing this.
I read somewhere that, in the UK, the chances of a fit and healthy person under 55 (thats me just!) dying of Covid now is the same as if you drove 180 miles in your car on a motorway every day. Puts it into perspective....
That was a great find on red-heads! 😂 All true too!!
I got 'Bluey' when I was a kid (from the older gen). Or Red. My sister was Little Red. Now she has two of her own! Both bright as copper pans as my Grandma would say! She also said take no notice of any taunts on your temper - you can count to 10 as well as anyone else.
Good Viking genes - hope they are Coronavirus proof!