Always is when I go away for the weekend with my family...
You can guarantee when I come back he's "been ill". EVERY TIME. So I phoned him - first sentence "I've been ill". Like its my fault because I went away!
STILL not taking all his medication that the GP gave him so I offer ZERO sympathy. Basically, wants me to tell him how he can feel better - "Take the meds the GP has given you Dad, if that fails then go an see you're GP but I'm not a doctor."
His words - "I desperately need you to visit the weekend." "I've got no food in the house" (Brother lives literally 5 mins drive from him - I live 35-40 mins. Brother is probably laying low). Anyway, he knows my car is in the garage so I'm struggling for transport and he knows my wife works weekends so may need our other car. So I tell him I can't promise. Anyone would have thought I'd told him I'd murdered the family next door.
Apparently, I'm "letting him down" and "need to arrange something", and "wife needs to understand". Of course the standby offer of home delivery groceries is not good enough - he doesn't want to spend the £30 minimum - they have to be hand delivered by me!
I've tried setting boundaries, I've said no can do, I've tried ignoring, I've tried just not doing. Give him his due he's relentless in his quest to get me to do what he wants!
It does boil down to what you are acclimated to, but it can change if you live long enough in another *colder* or *warmer* area. Me, I don't like being cold either, but I detest the extreme heat and humidity found elsewhere (plus the hurricanes, tornadoes, fires, earthquakes, mudslides, floods, etc.) I think it is easier to get warm than it is to cool down (home heat keeps us warm inside, warm clothes for the "between" spaces, aka cars and destination.) Humidity and heat, on the other hand, unless you can go half naked in those "between" spaces, ugh!
While the snow and ice are downers too, at least Wx forecasting has improved. If you know a storm is coming and need stuff, go get it, then hunker down. Driving in snow doesn't bother me, but those who don't know how to drive in snow does bother me! Ice? Na, not going out.
I am not sure if it’s because I grew up in a warm climate but I hate being cold. I don’t mind visiting somewhere but I would not like living year round in the cold.
I loved seeing New England in the fall. We don’t get the fall foliage here, no changing of the leaves so that is a treat for us to see. Years ago my husband was offered a job in New England but I would never be able to handle the long winters or snow!
My daughter is different. She is hoping to move to Denver after she graduates from college in May. I love Colorado. It’s beautiful but cold!
"Don't tell me I'd have to wear a suit to work in the US lol." Depends on where you work. Some places still have a dress code. Most don't. Some places are more relaxed. When they "relaxed" where I was last, some people took it a little too far (gov't defense contractors, so we get a lot of visits from gov't/military people, doesn't look very "professional" to be in beach wear.) I think some people got a "talking to". Casual wear is not beach wear, esp when working and interfacing with some General!
I couldn’t agree more.
FWIW - in a college class, reading "A Rose for Emily" written in 1930, one (or more) classmate(s) took offense at the "N" word used in it, and felt it should be changed. Good lord, it was "acceptable" back then! What are we supposed to do, paint over nudes in artwork and dress statues because it offends our definition of "decency"? Rewrite/edit all the classics that might have "offensive" words or actions in them? This was a second degree for me, so it was early 2000's!!! It is what it is, and yes, I agree, in more recent times too many people are being offended by things, even innocent things taken out of context.
"...halter tops out of scarves" Nope, TMI, but too small for halter tops really...
...dances, proms, reunions, nope.
I truly did not mean any offense to anyone. Was only trying to cover all the bases. People are welcome to feel any way they choose.
Paul,
Some places have a strict dress code, others don’t. Then there is ‘casual Friday’ where people don’t dress in suits. Our sports teams are so popular that people wear team jerseys on game days.
A lot of people have trouble adjusting to the heat and humidity. I don’t know how people dealt with wearing suits years ago before air conditioning! We didn’t have air conditioning at my school when I was a kid. Somehow we survived. I think California has the best weather! Cost of living is so expensive there though.
I know that you go to DisneyWorld but you should visit Disneyland sometimes in California. We have done both. Of course, DisneyWorld is bigger but Disneyland is the original and fun to see. You can really feel the vibe of Walt Disney and the weather is fantastic! The California beaches are so beautiful too if there is time to extend the trip.
Could he? Sure. But, what is going to stop him? About all that *might* is having paul living there on 24/7 call... NOT. So, it's his life, he's been deemed competent, let him do whatever his little heart desires. You do your thing.
IF he were ever of a mind to listen and learn, I would tell him his methods are NOT going to work and he shouldn't try it this way. I'd say feigning needing help with something, buying supplies, being ill is NOT how to get someone to be happy to visit. It's also crying wolf, and if/when you really DO have a need, no one is going to pay any attention! IF you want a visit, just ASK for a visit and leave the rest of this crap by the wayside.
Of course, we know he isn't going to listen or learn...
So, you do your thing, and visit/help when you deem the time is right. If he's ill or hurt (or pretending either), as you know you aren't a doc and you are too far away to handle that anyway, so let it go. He doesn't like it, tell him to hire someone or move to a place where they have people who will respond to every beck and call (at least until they get fed up with it too!!!)
I'm an IT geek working in a government office though....
Don't tell me I'd have to wear a suit to work in the US lol.
He'd been ill for a week or so. Nothing severe but not nice if you're old I guess, nasty cold/flu. He'd called the doctor out twice who pretty much told him, he didn't need antibiotics he needed to just rest. He wasn't having that.
So he called an ambulance told them he couldnt breathe. They took him to hospital. 3 hours later they sent him home - he was fine and they agreed with GP.
So hes phoning me ranting and raving. They had, despite his requests, refused to admit him. Dad I'm not a doctor but I'm sure they know what they're doing. He was really mad. Going on how hes so ill that he needs to be in hospital.
Next day I get a call from the hospital. Hes banged his head, fallen and been admitted. Not a serious wound but they kept him in hospital. Of course, since he was there they let him stay for a few more days (wrong I guess but hey ho).
Anyway, one of the nurses spoke to me. The wound did not tie up with his story. Something about hitting his head on high level cupboard door. The small wound was on the top of his head and did look as if he'd somehow stood underneath and raised his head up and moved it back and fore (which nurse thought).
Of course, theres no way he'd admit it. It just worked out so well for him - he'd gotten admitted as he wanted all along.
I spoke to the hospital and his GP after this. Nothing ever got done.....
6 months later same thing happened. Again - this time GP refused to come out and ambulance refused to come. Next thing hes fallen. Once again, day after he'd been moaning about it all.
Again, I spoke to hospital and GP - nothing got done...
So, to this day, I'm 99% certain these were fake. Not 100% but it all worked out so well for him both times. This is one of the reasons why I know that hes likely to try anything if he can see that me not visiting is becoming an emergency in his head.
But hey guys just chill a bit. FWIW - I have no idea with the Native American/Indian thing to be honest. (although if someone is Indian in the uk it means from India lol).
The gun thing - not getting into that. I love Florida and the USA. Its different to the UK got to respect the different culture. Would I move there? Hmmm Florida is a bit too - not sure I could cope to be honest! I look forward to cold weather and rain at home!
I can't make a comment without you coming unhinged.
I suppose when someone wants to attack another any excuse will do.
No one said that you can't say it, I said they will correct you every time. They are Indian they don't like it when people refer to them as native american.
As usual you jump on me before you actually read what I wrote.
Sorry Paul, didn't mean to hijack your thread. Just pointing out how politically incorrect some political correctness can be.
Hahaha, just chit chat while he was away. Different time zone for us.
Did you go to your school dances? Remember those dresses? Proms, homecoming and so on.
Do you go to your school reunions? I only went to one of them. I do have friends that I have stayed in touch with since kindergarten.
Did you make halter tops out of scarves? I did!
Oh my gosh! That is not professional to wear hot pants to work! LOL 😂
I remember hot pants! Every generation has their own clothing style.
Hahaha, you made me laugh out loud with your skirt story. Yep! It was the mini skirt era! My mom would tell me if I dropped something not to bend over!
Yep, Rowdy Yates. I liked a lot of Clint’s old stuff. Remember that movie that he did, ‘Play Misty for Me?’ I was a teenager when that was shown at the movie.
Oh gosh, I drooled over Clint Eastwood. He was so good looking! I always went for dark haired guys. I did make exceptions for Robert Redford and Paul Newman.
Clint’s son looks so much like him as a young man.