What an absolute horrible morning I've had. Went to visit my father in the VA home this morning and he wasn't in a good mood. Despite the obvious I don't want to be here, I want to come home stuff, he's also refusing to participate in physical therapy and obviously they can't make him do it. I told him flat out today that if he didn't go to PT he wouldn't ever come home. That seemed to kind of register but then he started getting pissy. It's very hard to love someone who always thinks the worst of any situation. I don't know what to do for him anymore, I'm just so damn tired of it all. Having to deal with him and my physical health declining steadily I can hardly hold back the tears when I try to leave. I'm just at a loss, all I wanna do is scream and cry.
Fast forward not long after, and he was in NH and Mom and I visiting him. He accused her of having a boyfriend on the side, and not wanting him. I tried to remind him that she was older than him and just couldn't take care of him anymore. He lashed out, saying she was a nurse and could do it.
Mom said after to ignore what he said. He was sick. I tell you the same thing. Your Dad is not able to think right, and this is very sad. He is unable to be your Dad and hear or fully comprehend how sick you are. Is any therapy offered by the VA for family members? How about a chaplain? Just knowing someone hears you is helpful, so I am glad you can come here and vent. Go ahead and vent, and cry. We hear you and understand. Hugs!