Laugh or cry? Please describe your current or previous caregiving experiences.
Caregiving covers such a wide range of emotions. Many times I chose to laugh because otherwise I would cry. Sometimes I did both.
Some things truly are funny and entertaining. Other things are so heartbreaking.
I have secretly wanted to be a stand up comic for years because God knows I have the material for it.
We could all write a book on the various sides of caregiving. Maybe I have a quirky sense of humor at times but these bizarre things with the elderly just can’t be made up.
I have a couple of funny ones about our grandmothers. I was in my twenties and had saved money to buy my mom a microwave. In the 80’s they weren’t as common then for home use so not many people knew how to use them. I signed mom up for cooking classes with a home economist. I thought it would be helpful to her for defrosting food, cooking veggies, etc.
I did know how to make popcorn in a microwave because I made it all the time at work for my lunch.
My darling grandma watched curiously in my mom’s kitchen as we put a bag of popcorn into a microwave to show my mom and she freaked out thinking the bag would catch on fire. Too cute.
The next story was about my husband’s grandma who was one of the most self centered people I have ever known in my life.
My BIL was going to prove without a doubt that she was not interested in hearing what others had to say. She was only interested in saying what she wanted to.
So he had a plan to tell her at the next Sunday dinner that her house was on fire. It was hysterical and he certainly proved his point quite well.
As usual she started on one of her long rants. She totally monopolized all conversations during dinner. We were in our 20’s and found her antics ridiculous but somewhat entertaining.
Well, BIL looked straight at her and said, “Ma Ma, the house is on fire.” She did as he claimed she would and dismissed his comment by saying, “Oh, that’s nice.”
So he repeated his comment but more emphatically, saying, “Ma Ma, the house is on fire.” Her reply was, “Oh, I see. That’s nice.”
We couldn’t believe it and he decided to tell her one last time with great excitement that her house was on fire. So he says, “Ma Ma, I am telling you that your house is on fire!” She did the same reply, “Yes, I told you that was nice.”
Everyone at the table just burst into a roar of laughter. Then she took notice and asked us what was so funny. So we told her. She got mad and said that we had made it up. Geeeez, that’s when a tape recorder would have come in handy, right?
Now it’s your turn to tell a cute, funny or really ridiculous story of an elder in your life.
Yep, there are clues. We don’t always see them or don’t want to see the clues. Some of us go into denial about certain situations. I didn’t understand certain things.
My dad used to get things mixed up after his stroke. That was hard to see too.
When my mom experienced seizures and was in the hospital for tests, the doctor came in and told me that mom had Parkinson’s disease. I thought the doctor was crazy. I told her that she was mistaken because mom would have told me if she had Parkinson’s disease. She said to me that my mom had all the symptoms and that she needed to see a neurologist soon.
I thought shuffling of feet was just an ‘old person’ thing. I cried then too.
My mother had been healthy and didn’t go to the doctor very often. She had four children in less than an hour. No long drawn out labor. Two of us without being sedated. The gas tank was broken for one of us and empty for another.
The doctor didn’t even show up at the hospital where I was born. He went to the wrong hospital. A nurse delivered me. Thank God for good nurses!
Absolutely no trouble getting pregnant or trouble with pregnancies or deliveries.
It’s a shame she suffers with Parkinson’s disease. Any of the neurological diseases are tough.
She told me at the beginning of one trip that she needed to replace a tube of "anti-itch cream" (generic cortisone cream) and so we proceeded to that aisle.
I found the BBB generic 1% cortisone cream and handed it to mom; she grabbed a box of Gold Bond something or other that had NO cortisone in it; I told her that it wasn't what she was looking for, that it didn't have the ingredient that helped with her itch.
She looked at me, wide eyed and said "but the box says "Anti Itch cream". I tried to explain about ingredients and the like and eventually she agreed to buy what I suggested, but for me, that is the moment that crystalized for me that my mom, the person who taught me to read labels, was no longer in existence.
I drove home that night and cried for an hour.