I'm 52. She 80. She attacks me. Beats me. Verbally slaughters me. I'm bruised and battered but I was a bad kid, partied and I was a disrespectful brat. Now my guilt has surpassed and determined me to take it at all costs. Even my death. Perhaps that's because from the age of 6 she took me out of bed at 2:30 am every morning to show me my dad Vomiting on furniture. She also told me he raped her all the time. No way. He could not take her on. He couldn't stand. I have Hep C and was upset I was going to die. Now I'm not. I hope it kills me soon. Like tomorrow. She will outlive me. By the way before she just broke her ankles and could get out she is known as the sweetest little old lady in the world. She is a total shopoholic. I have 2 deadly diseases that could kill me at 60 or 70. The doc not sure. I will be dead in a year from an aneurysm. I found out a year ago and I will be getting demtia myself rom brain injury I found myself. I think of dying everyday but I will let God decide. Please God. Beam me up. Please.
How have things been lately? I'm sorry to read that you had to go to a funeral, an untimely one by the sound of it.
Aging involved. You can't continue to live like this. It's up to you.
1-800-273-8255
What I'm saying is that you can love your mother, you can ensure she is well taken care of, you can do all kinds of things to support her and cherish her. But none of them *has* to mean standing there and taking it while she abuses you.
Does it never cross your mind to wonder what her behaviour does to her own spirit, let alone yours? Do you think she never feels bad about what she's doing? What must all that anger and left-over hatred be doing to her when she takes it out on her own child?
What will happen to her when you do abandon her, like it or not, by dying?
Go back to your doctor and ask for help.
You have had a very hard time of it. I'm sorry about your dad and your mom and your family life. You must be a very strong person. Are you in a position where you can leave your mothers home? If so please know you don't have to take it at all costs. It's time to focus on your own health and to find a measure of peace. Do you have help caring for your mother? What are your options Patty? This is a safe place to explore them.
Given such a dysfunctional family background, it will be very hard for you to detach from this situation and take care of yourself. Get help with this very challenging and necessary task. A therapist can provide support as you go through this.