She is more alert according to the caregiver who wanted to spend time with her. She has ate some veggies, pudding and applesauce and has drank some coke. Speech therapy came by and us going to suggest that we add some thicker foods to her diet. My sister was there this morning and said the doctor still believes Mom is dying, but the nurses think she is better. My sister will be there later to see for herself.
I feel SO GUILTY for the thoughts I have had. I was prepared for her death (as much as you can be) and now that she may have turned the corner I feel bad because I am not jumping up and down. I am tired, physically and mentally. I don't know if she is going to gain enough strength to go home, or if we will move her to a nursing home. I know I am not being patient enough. I want my life back and feel guilty for wanting that. Unless she can get enough strength to help us transfer from bed to chair, etc I don't think I can handle her at home.
I am not going to the hospital tonight...I am working my second part time job. Yes I know I have too much on my plate. It is only 2 hours a week but the extra money is nice.
I was out of steam. Totally. I knew I would have to move her to a nursing home and dreaded that more than I can even express. And mom? Well, she just was hardly there any more.
Sometimes dying patients have what some call Miracle Days. Mom had hardly been eating or drinking for four or five days. Then one day, she asked for her favorite -- a hotdog with everything and fries. Ate every bite. On the second morning after she was gone.
I'll pray for you both.