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Seems to me there should be a way to protect our parents without having to go thru lawyers and courts . They really got us.Why should they become victims at their weakest time and we have to have money for lawyers to get their rights. I'm not poor but just a working person currently not finding work and times our stressful enough with just the medical issues of old age.
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I am so afraid of approaching the bank. Right now the enduring power is being enacted, takes a couple of months. But, I want to continue just using my mother's debit card to pay bills online, I do not want any problems with this. She has her social security direct deposit, I just feel me putting my name on her account would create massive problems, I don't need them. For now, I will leave the bank out of it, any help, greatly appreciated,
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Becoming her representative payee was not hard. Through the court, I am already my mom's legal "guardian of the person" and my mom was ruled incompetent because of her dementia. I just took that paperwork to the social security office, and they processed the paperwork for me to be my mom's representative payee. They just informed me to open up a new bank account in my mom's name with my name on it as her representative payee. For the month of September, they cut a paper social security check and sent it to my house. For the month of October, and the months beyond that, her social security check will be sent to the new bank account via direct deposit. The reason I asked this question in the first place is because her NH wants me to take ALL of her upcoming check next week and turn it over to them, and they want to be placed as her new representative payee through social security--that's NOT gonna happen, if I have any say about it. My mom has a pending Medicaid application, and I know once that process has started, it can take up to 3 months or so for that process to be completed and I know they can't kick her out during that time. So, while that process is going on, I will make payments to the nursing home for her care--but I will NOT give them her entire check. I've researched this thoroughly online through many websites and found out that is is actually ILLEGAL for a NH to become a resident's representative payee--BUT, many NH's do it behind the resident's and family member's backs. I found out that as long as I am making "good faith" payments to the NH, my mom is ok and will not be kicked out. I would rather pay them $400-$500 per month than give up her entire check. Winter is coming, and my mom also needs a new winter coat and some other articles of clothing, and I will use her check to buy those things. Thank you everyone for your responses and I will keep you posted on things as they progress in this situation.
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For many years I have had my Mom's checks direct deposited to her checking acct (in her name) for which I am listed as the POA and can sign checks for her. When she went into the NH last year, they of course wanted her SS check. I told them I would pay them from her account and her bill is sent to my address every month. So I do not think you have to give up receiving the check as her representative payee. This was also a Medicaid case, and something you may want to keep in mind if you too are dealing with Medicaid. First, check with the NH as to what are allowable expenses to be deducted from what you owe the NH each month. In Mom's case, I could deduct her Medigap (secondary health insurance premium). The resident cannot be forced to give up their secondary insurance. In our state, the patient is allowed to keep only $35/mo. for personal expenses. So out of the SS check, we subtract her her Medigap insurance premium, the personal allowance, and the balance goes to the NH.

Something else about the secondary health insurance that you might find helpful: Some people think that if you are Medicaid you don't need a secondary. However, if your parent needs to go outside the NH facility for a medical visit or treatment, not every physician will accept only Medicare/Medicaid. I had that exact experience today, the first time I had to take her out of the NH to go to a private physican - wound care center. Many specialsts do not accept just 'Medicare&Medicaid' patients, so I think it is a good idea to keep that private secondary policy.if the parent has one.
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Did they stop payment of S.S. while the process was switched to payee? I've heard if person is not able to be payee for disabled person that he will be a few months without checks to wait for change to be made to new payee....He doesn't stop eating and needs someway to pay for medicines so wonder how this works? On a tight budget myself so trying to plan ?
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Was the process for getting you as her payee hard?
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