My wife is too attached to her mother.
My wife and I have been married for 1 year now and have one beautiful son together. We are a happy family when my MIL is not in the picture. My problem is that she's ALWAYS in the picture.
My MIL lives at a convenient distance from us. Not too close, yet not far enough.but she stays at our home every time she shows up (2days as minimum)
I understand that she needs time to be with her mother and That's why I don't complain about not seeing and talking my wife at times my MIL is around
my MIL and FIL live together for over 26 years however my FIL is complaining sometimes about his life with her in between my FIL is such harmless person I truly respect him, what it really hurts me is that the women in this family were all trained from birth that mother knows best and that mother is the only thing that matters in this world.
My MIL thinks that I, as a 30 years old man don’t know shit and she is the only one knows everything and she is always right,
Excuse my French, but that's bull $h!t. I agree that mothers are certainly very important in our lives, but they are not EVERYTHING in our lives. I love my mother more than most things in this world. However, I'm married now. I can't shove my wife's and kid needs aside in order to make my mother happy.
I don't want my MIL to be in the picture while I so desperately try to enjoy QUALITY time with my family.
This lady craves more attention than a 6 month old child. She's constantly complaining about being tired about how much she is helping us and etc. Let me add that she's only 51 years old. It's sickening to me how my wife falls for her manipulation.
I've spoken to my wife on a number of occasions and she always changes for a while. Then of course the MIL always manages to make my wife feel guilty. I love my wife so much but I cant take this situation any longer, my wife is so attached to her mother and her mother knows everything about our lives even she asks my wife how is our sex life can you imagine? I can't take this situation any longer and even though I love my wife so much but I feel I cant pretend to be happy anymore, im puzzled ,im so tired I don’t know what is the right thing to do
I described what I suspect your mother in law's view is. I also said it was based on prejudice and ignorance.
And immediately you come back and accuse me of sharing her prejudices and ignorance?
I learned not to confuse Arabic and Persian culture when I was eight, thanks, from my school friends. But I wish you good luck all the same.
god bless you all
Or does your wife want to go along with mama's way of doing things?
guys a huge disaster happened today , we had a serious arguing today,
the thing is my wife and i are planning to move to Belgium work and study, but the first 2 years i must work ans study because my wife should take care of baby,this is what MIL said today ,maybe alesia and baby can stay for 2 years with me ,you go and study, work and whatever you wanna do there.... my wife and i were shocked ,we were speechless, she said to her mother what are you saying i got married to be with my husband but not you i was so shocked and i decided to take daniel ( my son ) out i told my wife we will be back when your mother is gone .after half an hour she left, guys im so unlucky , today my son is 1 month old we wanted to celebrate but now we have no mood , :( :(
Your MIL can say whatever she likes. You and your wife will make the decisions that are best for your family regardless. In other words, *it doesn't matter*. IGNORE her!
Why Belgium, just out of interest?
My dentist is from Bucharest, as it happens - he and his wife moved here together I suppose about seven years ago, something like that. They've got consecutive professional registration numbers, which I think is cute :)
What does occur to me about the money, though, is that although salaries in Brussels might be higher than in Minsk, say, so are living costs, tuition fees, travel, everything... It does tend to be a case of what you gain on the swings, you lose on the roundabouts. Add up carefully, and don't forget to factor in family and friends - they do matter.
You mentioned having to study: are you actually qualified, or do you need to complete your training?
I don't think you have to be terribly materialistic to worry that your expensively educated, medically qualified daughter seems to throwing her career away. It might cheer MIL up a bit if she looks longer-term, though - babies aren't babies for very long. Will your wife be able to register to practise in Belgium?