My MIL recently turned 65 and has never worked a steady job in her entire life. When her father was alive she lived off of him and when my husband and his brother were under 18 she lived off the child support. She was extremely abusive to both my husband and his brother, she never allowed them to see their father or have friends, she would put them in the car and drive across country on a moments notice if they began to have friends at school. She would fly into rages then force them to lift heavy furniture as punishment, giving my brother in law a juvenile hernia that she refused to have treated for several years. My husband has been financially supporting her since he was 18. Every time he has tried to cut her off she has found some way to punish us. Due to various irresponsible decisions she is living in a week by week hotel in New Orleans. Over the last 2 months we have given her 2,000$ to put down a deposit on an apt, instead she chose to waste that money on hotels. Now she has called needing 300$ or she will be evicted. My husband and I cannot afford to send this to her without risking homelessness ourselves. We are only 28 years old and I am pregnant with twins, I will have to leave my job before then bc I am part time and do not qualify for FMLA, we just moved into our first home and want to pay off some old debts, make improvements, and build some savings before the babies come. We can do this and have a plan but can't send her more money. We didn't send her the 300 so she was probably evicted, she has called my husband 24 times in the last day. He won't answer as he can't face her but every call he becomes more distant and depressed. What should I do to support my husband? Are we awful people for abandoning this old lady?
Your husband definitely needs a *time out* from his mother, and she needs time to grow up.
Yes, to changing your phone numbers.
Get him into Al-Anon or other counseling. Sounds harsh but you family's future will always be diminished with MIL around his neck. Best wishes.