Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Elderly mom with arthritis wants to remain in own home and care for Dad by herself. How do we r4spect her wishes and also be sure she and Dad are safe and helath issues monitored?
GOGURLZ, I see from your profile that your Mom is 88 years old. Oh gosh, she is of that generation where the keeping of the house and taking care of her husband is "her job" and no one else.
My Mom [98] was that same way. I tried professional caregivers and Mom promptly shooed them out of the house on the 3rd day. The first evening, Mom grabbed the dinner bowl that Dad was eating from and threw out the contents... it was like how dare another woman cook for my father [she also cooked for my Mom]. This went around and around. It became so very stressful that I decided it was best for the caregivers to leave and we will figure out something later.
I also tried to bring in a cleaning service but Mom was insulted that I thought her house wasn't clean enough. Such a generation gap... if the cleaning service came to my door, I would be holding the door opened welcoming the crew in and doing a happy dance :)
Sadly we sometimes need to wait for a crises to happen.... talk about the stress of waiting for that, every time the phone rang I panicked. Two weeks after the caregivers had left my parent's house, my Mom had a major fall which put her into the hospital and then into long-term-care, she never came home. In the mean time, I got the caregivers back for Dad whom he appreciated and welcomed them into the house.
Eventually Dad wanted to move to senior living, so I found a wonderful complex and he was happy as a clam living there for almost a year. He wishes he would have moved there years ago.
GOGURLZ, what does your Dad think about the situation? Or has his dementia got to a point where he unable to make decisions. If he still have a clear mind, could he convince your Mom to bring in caregivers or to move to IL? Or is Mom the ruler of the house, like my Mom was? My Dad just followed what Mom wanted to do regarding this situation. It was easier then fighting with her :P
I am having this problem with Dad. he wants me, his daughter, to tend to it all and his daughter is very drained. he has dementia and yes I have become the drill sergeant in the military around here. Then I started sharing my experiences with people and I came to accept this is how things are going to be when dad refuses help. I told him he needed to take a bath and I was very blunt about it because sometimes you have to come up with different words to get the point across. Yes.. he struggled a lot more than usual to get his bath and gave completely out trying to get dressed and he finally fell asleep in his chair half dressed because he tired himself out. That's when I woke him up and finished dressing him. I told him, your daughter has about 10 other things to do everyday to run a house, maintain a yard, pay bills, etc. and sometimes she can't be everywhere. I also told him if the bathing gets to be too much for him. At least I have an option to take care of that. I can pay a private caregiver/aide to come in for a couple of hours to bathe and dress him if things got too rough around here and if things get really rough and thank goodness it isn't yard maintenance season, then I could pay someone to do the yardwork to help me out too without going broke doing it that way.
You can let her be the general but still call in the troops. If they have the financial resources they can pay for a lot of helpful things to take some of the burden off your mom without her having to give up total control. Home and yard maintenance, weekly housecleaning, meals on wheels, sitters that allow her to get out to the store or to religious services or just coffee time with friends, a friendly bath aid, an nurse who can pop in when ever there is a need so she doesn't have to take him out to a doctor.... these are all things that can assist her without taking over her ability to make decisions. If she resists, start small. If she still resists point out that it isn't about what she wants, it is about what dad needs, and she must either accept help for him or he will have to move to a place where it is provided.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My Mom [98] was that same way. I tried professional caregivers and Mom promptly shooed them out of the house on the 3rd day. The first evening, Mom grabbed the dinner bowl that Dad was eating from and threw out the contents... it was like how dare another woman cook for my father [she also cooked for my Mom]. This went around and around. It became so very stressful that I decided it was best for the caregivers to leave and we will figure out something later.
I also tried to bring in a cleaning service but Mom was insulted that I thought her house wasn't clean enough. Such a generation gap... if the cleaning service came to my door, I would be holding the door opened welcoming the crew in and doing a happy dance :)
Sadly we sometimes need to wait for a crises to happen.... talk about the stress of waiting for that, every time the phone rang I panicked. Two weeks after the caregivers had left my parent's house, my Mom had a major fall which put her into the hospital and then into long-term-care, she never came home. In the mean time, I got the caregivers back for Dad whom he appreciated and welcomed them into the house.
Eventually Dad wanted to move to senior living, so I found a wonderful complex and he was happy as a clam living there for almost a year. He wishes he would have moved there years ago.
GOGURLZ, what does your Dad think about the situation? Or has his dementia got to a point where he unable to make decisions. If he still have a clear mind, could he convince your Mom to bring in caregivers or to move to IL? Or is Mom the ruler of the house, like my Mom was? My Dad just followed what Mom wanted to do regarding this situation. It was easier then fighting with her :P