As,you may know, my step daughter and her husband moved in with us last weekend. She has hardly said a word to us and keeps to herself when I got home last night the kitchen was dirty so I cleaned it and made a cake. She and hubby were in their room and came out to get things out of their car and she never said a word. He,spoke to me but never came back out to eat dinner with us. Hubby and I went on a walk and my daughter said they came and got what was left from what she cooked but didn't eat in the kitchen. I am sure there are dirty dishes in their room.
She is a very bitter 19 year old and I don't know what to do, but she is NOT going to make my life miserable.
Just had to vent.
What does she have to be proud of? What has she accomplished?
You don't know what to do? Teach her how to become responsible and self sufficient, to develop pride in herself and her work after she gets a job.
What she needs is motivation to become her own person - to get a job and develop some self esteem. As a mother, that's what you should be helping her with, not sponging off her parents who are caring for an elderly parent.
Your job is to communicate and negotiate bottom line must-happen-or-else criteria with hubby. His job is to make it happen.