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Unless she was deep in dementia, she chose to give them the money and no, it isn't your business. It is hers. It is her money and her debt. This isn't stealing or fraud. She signed the check! She put them on her Visa account as authorized users. It is not fraud. You have no business writing any victim statement. You aren't a victim. Being 78 does not make a person stupid or incompetent or incapable of making her own decisions. I know it is frustrating to you but you need to stay out of it.
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I am in a similar situation!! I live with my elderly mother. When I left for 5 months she had a joint account with my sister to pay my moms bills!! MY sister has been spending my Mom money on her own personal use.My Mom constantly complaints to me why all her bills are behind,but won't take any positive ation to resolve it!! She has enable my sisters behavior for years!! I am caught in the middle because I am require to pay for expenives while I am here!! Moving has cross my mind because I see know resolve in this situation!!
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My sister in law has been "helping" her parents. I am a nurse and been involved with their health care but not finances. I felt that my inlaws were both in sound mind and could handle their own. After checking on them one day I asked if they were ever going to get their car fixed . It had been in a accident a year before. Thats when they told me their daughter had taken the 11,000 insuance check and told them she was working on getting it fixed. They also complained at that time that she had opened credit accounts in their name and bought a car in their name. I know we cant do anything about the lines of credit or car because they signed the forms but is there anything we can do about the insurance money. They have asked her several times for it and she just says she is working on it. My father in law wants to put in another claim because in his mind he cant get into trouble because he never got the money in the first place. Can he get in trouble for filing two claims?
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I doubt he would get into trouble for filing a second claim on the same accident. His insurance agent surely would explain to him that he has already been paid the money to repair the car and would prevent it from going any further. The daughter can get into trouble for cashing the insurance check if she does not have POA and isn't legally allowed to cash the check. If they signed the check over to her, though, there probably isn't a legal recourse. It would be a civil problem, not a criminal one.
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Wow!!! So many f these stories sound just like what my sister and I are experiencing with my mother. My mother is 82 years old and has vascular dementia. My niece was taking care of my mother by taking her back and forth to her doctor's appointments. My mom discovered that 24 thousand dollars worth of merchandise had been charged to her credit card last December. It was reported a fraud by me and was being investigated by Bank of America. When the bank found out who was responsible, they called my niece who immediately ran to my mother and cried she was going to jail. My mother told the bank not to proceed with the charges, she also diverted my mother's retirement check from on bank account to one with her name as co owner, and has several of her living expenses going out of my mother's bank account. we have told her since February to change these utilities, she changed the name on one account, but it still comes out of my mother's checking account.in all almost 40 thousand dollars has disappeared and my niece isn't responding to any type of communications we are sending.
She has been reported for elderly abuse and I have talked to my mother's case manager. Since I live in another city, I am going to have to ravel to the city where the crime took place and report it to the local police department fraud unit. the case manger di assure me that a detective in the city where my niece and mother live has been assigned to the case. My niece may be facing a domestic abuse charge. I am hiring an attorney to deal with this "chick" because she has stolen too much money and continues to exploit my mother.
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what legal recourse does my husband have his mother as of 2011 moved in with my husbands sister in sylvan Ohio. She is on all her accounts t the local bank. She was just moved into an assisted living facility in Toledo Ohio without h is knowledge.My husbands sister has nothing to do with us since my mother-in-law moved in, She had to withdraw one of my mother-in-laws iras. my husband has no idea how much his mother still has in bank. my mother-in-law is starting to have a,zheimers and does not remember much regarding her monies. We live in new york city.
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Really sorry to see theese kind of stories. I was in a situation very similar. The one that does gets screwed. It's to bad but true. By the way, did anyone in the family have any drug problems? & for the gentleman that told the first guy to mind his own busness as his mother said this is easier said than done trust me I was there
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My brother's 53 years old, never worked, and in the last four years has taken about £23,000 from my mum. She was shocked when I told her how much she's given him. He says, 'I didn't ask her for money.' I reckon he's a liar. It makes me feel really sick, I mean, he's my brother, but how come he's such a dishonest person? I'm scared of him. I can't confront him as he gets violent when you call him on his behaviour.
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PS, yes, my brother has a drug problem. He smokes cannabis, since he was about 16 years old. Recently I found his stash in my mum's house. What on earth to do about it? I panicked and threw it in a trash can a few streets away. My poor mum couldn't been charged with possession if someone else had found it.
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PPS Love and kindness to all you good people out there, caring for others, even if they treated you badly. We can keep our hearts pure. I don't think I could live with myself if I cheated my own mum.
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My sister's favorite son died about 10 years ago and ever since he died she has become forgetful. Her other son lived next door (she owned two small houses) and talked her into signing the houses over to him. He took out a loan for $120,000. and bought a house for him and his wife and my sister moved in with him and his wife. My sister has a retarded daughter and a retarded son living with her. They all moved in with the son who took a loan on her houses. She did not like living with him and moved back to her house. He started charging her rent. He still owes for the loan and is not keeping the houses up. He also has her car in his name. Can anything be done to keep him from charging her rent? And selling her car can keeping the money?
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My half brother lived with my mother almost his entire life. He's a nutcase and can't get a job. Anyways, my mom got throat cancer in 2011, and he didn't want anyone to take care of her cuz he said he could. She did a reverse mortgage on her paid for home and bought another home, in the same state but different county, miles from her friends in 2012. She gave him power of attorney to pay bills and buy food, etc. Within 1.5 years he removed over 200K from her account, opened his own account at a different bank, buys a 92 inch TV, Mac books, iPad, Harley Davidson, Truck, diamond ring for his girlfriend, etc; and 4 months later, mom's dead in July 2014. He left her at the funeral home, didn't tell me or anyone that she had passed away. My husband and I live in the next state over, and while he went to visit his relatives he dropped by to check on my mom and that's how we found out in Sept. 2014. He hasn't paid the taxes on the house and he's still in it. He told my daughter he can live there free for a year. He didn't report her dead to her past employee, so 2 months he collected her pension. I reported it, so now he has to pay it back. My husband is a disabled Vet and we can't afford an attorney, but, I know I am Executrix of my mom's Will, but he won't even let me see it. He won't answer his phone and screens all calls.
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Mine is more of stealing stuff and give it to a favored son. It's a sorry situation and quite toxic
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My mum gave my brother full power of all her affairs. However, some changes don't look like it was my mum initials. Definatly fraud he didn't tell anyone that he had it or she had dementia not until it was well set in. I kept saying mums not well, he replied she is fine. Anyway when she got bad I gave up work to be with her during the day and the house was a mess ripped carpets, dampness, wallpaper coming of the walls and her clothes where disgusting. I cleaned the house got her into a day care unit 2 days a week (which she loved) he was happy. But she would bring letters through thinking she had just received them only on reading them they were 7 or 8 years old. I discovered my 2 brother had been taken all her money my older brother said he was hiding it so mum would get full social benefit why? Crazy. So I started to buy my mum new clothes and get the money from him. He also always told her she had no money which upset her. I would always say don't listen to him mum you the richest you have ever been. I did try to get help from many different sources and all they would end up saying go to the police. But I was scared as my brother could stop me see my mum and he had removed around 60 thousand pounds or more. It's so sad but they put my mum in a state run home which didn't work cause she had a heart condition and they could not medicate her like everyone else in the home. So they moved her to an asylum which was hell on earth. It is the most horrible thing I have ever seen. I begged my brother to move her but he didn't want to spend her money he had moved. By this time she had got lung cancer, however while my mum was in the asylum my brother started to renovate my mums house using the money he had hidden. He bought the best of everything, taken out walls in the kitchen & bathroom to make them bigger it was heart breaking. I couldn't even get him to replace her bedroom carpet at £60 yet his wooden flooring £85 per sq mtr it's a disgrace. I did talk to my mum as sometimes she would come back and understand most things. Which was nice as she would say thanks and she understands what is going on. I would tell her what Peter was doing and she would just get upset and say she was going to the police so I would change the subject saying I was joking. So now my mum has died alone in an asylum my brother has moved into his luxury ground floor apartment paying very little for it. I can't stand the thought of him living in my mums home epically since he used all my mum and dads hard earned money. Can anyone help me understand why anyone could do this to their mother. My mum should have had the best care money could buy as she had it.. He stole from the goverment & my mum. I would also like to say my mum wasn't ready for a home she could look after her self. She still wash and dress her self, make her self a cold lunch, cup of tea, take care of her cat. So why why why.
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So sad and so sorry to hear that your brother did this to your mother. I can totally relate as my 1/2 brother took everything from my mom including her life, and he didn't even tell anyone she was gone and then just left her at a funeral home until we found her. My husband even had to pay to get her ashes and the 1/2 brother didn't even use her money to pay for that. No one on Earth wants to do anything unless I pay them, so hopefully God will take care of him in the end.
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My sister's children have all but bankrupted there mother. What happens to the monies owed on the credit cards in my sister's name, if she should die?
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Try everything you all wrote, only you don't find out until 24 hours after your father's death when said brother's wife sits down across the restaurant table and says "The money is all gone, we can't pay rent, your brother is dying, and the plot was done with payments so we don't know how much is owing. Oh, and as far as we know, there's no will." I'm already $7,000 in loans now just trying to bury my father while I wait for legal Administrator paperwork to come back. I had to file that because I have to assume "there is no will". The funeral isn't for another couple weeks while I try to figure out where almost a million dollars went.
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This, and so many of the other posts here make me SO grateful I have NO FAMILY. What I had in the distant past were nothing but greedy crap, my mom took care of that back then (another long story).
What I find amazing is how people care about what other crappy, sh***ty family members think, or even want to keep in contact with them when there is no reason to or necessity. I also find it amazing not to prosecute 'family' when they are criminally wrong, just because they wear the sainted label 'family'.
Yes, much of this can be explained. However, when someone gives an evil individual a pass, what are you going to do when said individual goes out and hurts or destroys someone else? I see this same sort of excuse and pass given for 'family' molesters who go on and are arrested for molesting someone elses kid. And it comes out that the 'family' knew about 'uncle albert' for a long time and covered for 'albert' even if their own child was molested. Sometimes it is more than just about your own family. We can very well impact other members of society for our lack of response.
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I'm not sure if your a parent or not, but you'll never truly understand what your mother meant when she told you to "mind your business!" Mom's form different relationships with each child, and like it or not your mother chose to support your brother for what ever reason. It's natural for sibling's to be annoyed with that leach sibling in the family! I believe that it's all in your approach. If you and your brother have a hard time commuting maybe another sibling can try to talk to him. The brother with the the wife (that has crossed the line ) are gonna be very reluctant to discuss this because they're embarrassed, and you wanting to resolve this is making them feel attacked dont be surprised when they blame you for them refusing to speak to the family your the perfect excuse to avoid! If I were you I would try this before legal action...send a certified letter to your brother, make it look like he won and your doing it his way (humble my friend) Hey Brother, I understand what mom was doing, so I want to help make ot easier for both of you...now get your brother to except responsibility for the payments, have him take over the payments, remove your moms name. It's a win win...your mom is no longer responsible...if your brother wants to screw up his own credit let him! If that doesn't work, other action might have to happen.
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Bottom line, lawyers and DAs are raking up. Interdict the elderly and take their money is the best advice my sister in law, who is an attorney, can give. One of the biggest lawyers in town stated "the elderly are being killed on every block of every street." This is in Louisiana, Calcasieu Parish.
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Most of these problems could have been avoided if a durable power of attorney had been in place before the elders began declining. My parents did this for me after the sudden deaths of my brother and sister just a couple of years ago.
I think this made them think about getting their affairs in order. Since then my folks mental and physical health has declined rapidly and I've used the POA to keep things in order. I know his is easier said than done, especially with crappy sibs and relatives, but it's got to be done early in the game. If you're reading this and you are 50 plus years old, get with your families and get this done for your own affairs now. Don't put you kids through the same kind of hell all these folks are writing about on this site.
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I am in a similar situation. My mother is to blame for her own problems; however. She pitted sibling against sibling promising the proverbial carrot (her money) to whoever took her in. My brother and his wife took her in and began telling everyone she was incapable and on her death bed. I notified her physician of the situation. He confirmed my worst fears. She was neither incapable nor on her death bed. Although I know my brother is a bottom feeder and probably stealing her blind - she is complicit and at least I have peace of mind knowing that he is being watched for physical abuse now by her doctor.
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My Dad was really tight and in order to avoid legal fees he made a trust. The trust is worthless if there are other lawyers involved. All those years I saw my Mother being a servant, never, ever bought anything for herself. Well, lawyers took her medicines away the day my Dad was buried. Lawyers lied through their teeth, on both sides. We got to see my Mother tortured, had just lost my Dad, my sister and I who were Mother's best friend, were not allowed to visit her except for 15 minute and police escort, thanks to the corrupt lawyers. Doctor in Sulphur, one of the worst doctors in Sulphur, at least for us, stated when challenged about removing my Mother's medicines, "Oh, we don't worry about removing medicines at her age". Oh, I forgot, days before my Dad died, my sister in law (lawyer) and brother told my Dad that if he didn't change will to just my brother, he would be sorry. Well he was deceased in the next 10 days. Our caregivers were wonderful and they also were tortured by the sister in law. Bottom line, the lawyers ran everything and did nothing except billing and they do a good job of that. My brothers have a horrific past but no one wanted to know that. The lawyers wanted an easy job for the judge, never mind the truth.
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Everyone says, "There is nothing they can do", when what they mean is "They won't do anything". if it's not easy, and there isn't anything in it for them personally.Do whatever it takes, to get it in front of a judge, the police don't give a rats rear end, they will claim it is a civil matter, which it is not, it's Criminal. Usually forgery is involved.i
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Martin, Some people can't afford to hire an attorney. Therefore, "They" do get away with it!
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Yes they do. Brother has had mom and dad (deceased) sign away all his and her assets. Brother left them living in filth but couldnt clear out and sell their stiff fast enough. Has their land for sale now. Him and his.newly retired wife will profit all. Nothing anyone can do cause he got POA. Sickening, The criminal has found the perfect crime.
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all I can say every time is thank God I do not have family. As far as I'm concerned, most family can go you know where.
For the family that does work, bravo. Thank God for what you do have.
The main thing is when you have toxic evil relatives, don't go snuffling after them because 'whyyy don't they liiike me???' Cut them out of your life, your will, everything. Disappear so they can't find you. Be happy.
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i am gutted all the above happened to my Mother, but i will go to the police, DWP, as he claimed benefits when he shouldnt. He conned my mother, he had full POA, my mothers lawyers, help him. Advising him he could do what every he liked. it cost me £1440. for a lawyer just to get the share of the house i paid a quater share of. he spent all her money aroung £100,000. only putting £6,000. on final accounts. he let her die in a asylum when she had alzheimers and lung cancer. it was the worst end of a life. how he sleeps, in fact the whole family took from her and gave nothing back. I am however, going to take my brother to small claim court. As if it cost anyone name on the will, any money (ie Lawyers & flights) to claim what you are entitled to, then the executor is personal responsible to pay you back from his own account.. so god willing he will be exposed and be advised to pay me back, rent, flights and lawyers. KARMA
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There is a lot of gender bias. And the lawyers are more than blame and they are the only ones that can change the corrupt system.
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my mother is 85 years old and she have lots of health problems ,but i do take care her well and she live with me , my older brother he took all land in India and and now he did not help my mom for any financial or emotional help and he did not want to take care of any thing so id there any law i can take him to court for financial help for mom , and he took my Mom's Agriculture land on his Name and now he did not want to share part of with Mom and other brothers and sisters
please help me i can do any things for this battle
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