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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I watched my mom become weaker and weaker last October. My moms caregiver left in early November and I was providing more care. The more time I cared for her the stronger she became. I know have good evening help, but I do days. Honestly I think the improvement was because she was drinking more fluids under my watch. I think now her caregiver was sleeping and on her iphone more then she was pushing hydration. It could be your parent is getting weaker or it could be dehydration.
My Dad was the most wonderful Dad, he is still with us but I am slowly coming to terms his mind is slipping and so is he. I LUV him so much he gave me a wonderful life from birth to now ....we have grown very close over his senior years he is now a couple of weeks away from turning 95! These past two months or so he has become someone I don’t know and who really doesn’t like me ,suddenly doesn’t trust me .... I know that I should not take this personally however I am a person .....it hurts me for both him and me! Living into ones’ golden years is a blessing and can be a curse. My Mom (who was the very best Mom ever) passed just weeks after she turned 65 . Cancer took her but it did not take her mind we were able to understand one another to the end. This is new experience with my wonderful Papa will take him from me while he still is living. I thank everyone here on this site and forum etc., reading asking questions here has really been a life saver in so many ways. 🙏
My mom just turned 96. After a urinary tract infection this past summer she started really declining with her dementia. So she moved in with me. She was walking ok. And able to dress herself and to the bathroom. Fast forward to November. She fell. Broke her hip. Had surgery. Rehab. Now back at my house. Getting worse. I don’t think I can care for her much longer. I don’t know what to do. My only brother lives in another state. He has been so helpful even that far away. But will need to decide something soon.
I went through this too, and repeatedly asked myself what I could do before my father passed. Eventually I remembered something a good friend told me, that the care he provided his father, and activating the DNR order, was the best thing he could do for his father at that time.
So I tried to remember that, and asked myself when I went to visit him what I could do to make the last days easier. Sometimes it was not talking, just sitting and resting my hand on his shoulder or arm so he knew he wasn't alone.
And I kept him up to date on important issues, so he wouldn't feel left out.
I won't say that it worked all the time, but it did help.
It’s agonizing to see a parent slip away. I’m going through the same thing, and I’m struggling too. The age of the parent does not matter. I’m grateful and fortunate that my dad has been on this earth 86 years, but that doesn’t make it any easier watching him lose his agility, memory, etc. It’s painful and heart wrenching.
My mom is your mom’s age. I was her primary caregiver until recently. Now she is with my brother.
I burned out too. It absolutely effects your marriage. I feel your pain.
I know it hurts to see a parent decline. I sense that you feel totally responsible for your mom. Let me assure you that it’s okay if you either emotionally or physically can’t keep on being her caregiver.
Have you thought of a facility? What about palliative care or hospice? Seek help if you need it. Your marriage is important too. Your mental health is extremely important.
I wish you all the best. Let us know how you are doing. Vent here anytime. Hugs.
I'm sorry you're going through this, but she's lived a long time. Sadly, some children aren't that fortunate, esp if their mom(or dad) were great parents.
My mom was same age and just passed away. Anytime you want to email me, please do. It IS hard to watch. You remember how they were years ago and I guess you also wonder if this is how you will be in the future,also.
We are all born to die, each day we come one day closer. Your mother is very old, she has lived a very, very long life. IMO we must accept death as a the final solution. We cannot live forever.
Perhaps you can find a support group or possibly a nearby church that can help you accept this process.
I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time at this time.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I LUV him so much he gave me a wonderful life from birth to now ....we have grown very close over his senior years he is now a couple of weeks away from turning 95!
These past two months or so he has become someone I don’t know and who really doesn’t like me ,suddenly doesn’t trust me .... I know that I should not take this personally however I am a person .....it hurts me for both him and me!
Living into ones’ golden years is a blessing and can be a curse. My Mom (who was the very best Mom ever) passed just weeks after she turned 65 . Cancer took her but it did not take her mind we were able to understand one another to the end. This is new experience with my wonderful Papa
will take him from me while he still is living. I thank everyone here on this site and forum etc., reading asking questions here has really been a life saver in so many ways.
🙏
So I tried to remember that, and asked myself when I went to visit him what I could do to make the last days easier. Sometimes it was not talking, just sitting and resting my hand on his shoulder or arm so he knew he wasn't alone.
And I kept him up to date on important issues, so he wouldn't feel left out.
I won't say that it worked all the time, but it did help.
I burned out too. It absolutely effects your marriage. I feel your pain.
I know it hurts to see a parent decline. I sense that you feel totally responsible for your mom. Let me assure you that it’s okay if you either emotionally or physically can’t keep on being her caregiver.
Have you thought of a facility? What about palliative care or hospice? Seek help if you need it. Your marriage is important too. Your mental health is extremely important.
I wish you all the best. Let us know how you are doing. Vent here anytime. Hugs.
You remember how they were years ago and I guess you also wonder if this is how you will be in the future,also.
Perhaps you can find a support group or possibly a nearby church that can help you accept this process.
I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time at this time.