My sister has a POA in place (unknowning to me) and refuses to release our mother to my wife and my care in DE. My wife has been taking care of Alzheimer’s individuals for the past 15 years. We do not require any financial support from my sister for the welfare of my mother. My mother and I signed over the home in Brooklyn to my sister years ago. Additionally I advised my sister she can also keep our mother’s social security. My sister refuses to offer any logical explanation for her conduct. In the interim my mom is subjected to sub-standard living conditions, while my wife and I have had to secure the services of an attorney in NY.
I strongly recommend to all your readers that as much they are trusting in family members, to the ethical and Godly things, make sure it’s in writing to protect the elderly.
Thanks for allowing me to share.
Russell
DE
1 Not everyone cares as much, but just about everyone likes to give their opinions.
2 Family does not necessarily care for each member of the same family.
3 The more money is involved, the more others get involved. The less, the lesser amount.
4 Not because is a loved one means anyone has the capacity it really takes to get involved, for a true caring caretaker are few and hard to come by. Plus is mostly a thankless job, for those suffering memory loss hardly acknowledge the efforts being poured upon them.
5 Most facilities that are affordable enough leave much to be desired, for the simple fact that they are understaffed, and the ratio of residents versus staff is mostly negligent. Therefore it becomes easier to ignore pleads for attention, due to lack of time. Unless of course, one is rolling with dough, in which case the sky is the limit, but sadly the majority don’t have enough moola.
6 Stress can wipe anyone faster than you can think. Lack of sleep, appreciation, resources, etc can add up fast, and before you know it now the overwhelming commitment can go from a well intended action to a debilitating task. Stay away from the booze to alleviate tensions, it never suffices plus may turn a nice person rowdy.
Takes a village to serve those that can not help themselves, or a super woman or superman. God, though, for those of strong faith, keeps all good actions on a heavenly file, never to be forgotten, if its any consolation.
Your mother likely wants to stay in her home town, Brooklyn, and likely told your sister she does not want to be moved to a different state. Moving your mother down to Delaware removes your mother from her familiar hometown, and removes her from old Brooklyn neighborhood connections. Brooklyn roots run deep, which is the strongest reason to keep your mother within that area. From your mother's perspective, it's in your mother's best interest to stay where your mother wants to stay, which is in Brooklyn, NY not Delaware.
Your mother signed her POA to your sister, it's a legal decision that cannot be unrolled.
Your mother's social security currently is being used to pay for her care (Total paid = Medicaid + your mother's SS minus her monthly allowance) Your suggestion to your sister for your sister to keep your mother's social security is technically criminal, which your attorney will advise you to not further suggest.
You have an attorney who will advise you on how to proceed, it's best to follow those recommendations.