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Llamalover,

sorry you had a bad text . Glad you will treat yourself.
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Sooohappy,

Good start for the New Year !
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TG
"How do I deal with dad starting to complain about being lonely?"

Well Dad, being lonely is a problem that can happen as we age, or any age really. What can you think of to see more people, get more fun into your life?

Turn it back to him. It's his feeling. Only he can fix his own feelings.
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TG, why is your dad's happiness YOUR responsibility?

Do you think perhaps he's attempting to turn you into a "flying monkey"? That's a relative who is enlisted by someone with a personality disorder to get someone ELSE to do their bidding. It seems to me that both your sister and aunt fell prey to this when Dad was living with YOU. Do you see the pattern here?

Dad is in a good facility with lots to do, yes? He has dementia and can't be reasoned with, yes?

How about "sorry dad, can't help you out there" and move on to another topic?
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Dad is 5 months in at the retirement facility. Not your regular place, personal care, nice private room, lots to do and great food. He has his sister nearby and grandkids somewhat close as well as other relatives and my sibling to stop once a month. He's been dropping hints about no one comes to see him, he's missing out on family holidays, "just leave the old man at the home and forget about him" was today.
Not sure how to deal with this. I explained he sees more family now than he did living with me and he is safer.
He likes being doted on. I can't visit, I am many states away. He did have a social life living with me, Dinner, breakfast and lunches out and church on Sundays. That took a toll on the people having to drive him everywhere. Took a toll on me and my wife too. Now we have one adult child back in the house and watch my granddaughter 3 days a week (my choice).
How do I deal with dad starting to complain about being lonely?
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THANK YOU!!
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SH, Yay! So HAPPY😍 for you!
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SoHappy. Count me in as SO HAPPY for you. What a great present this is. I am so relieved. I hope you keep them out of your life forever.
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THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
And now these bullies are forever out of my life!

Thanks for all your support.
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sooohappy: Congratulations.
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Beatty: I hear that as I had an unpleasant text from DD. Treat yourself well. I plan to as well.
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ExSounhappy to Sohappy,

Yay 😃! Wonderful!!!
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Sooo good to hear it happy!

Congratulations on your legal victory.
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Hi all! I hope you had a GREAT Xmas!

THANK YOU for all your support and good wishes for me. It helped a lot.

True to my word, my screen name changed from So Unhappy to Sooo Happy.

I want to let you know: the judgment already came out (instead of February). I won in court against the bullies in my family. They’re extreme bullies. I can’t tell you more details.

Justice has been served.
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Beatty,
glad you popped in a movie and treated yourself !
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OK. Felt a big whine moment approaching yesterday.. like the dark blue-black rain cloud I saw. Air all crackling & tense. No good for walking the tenseness out so popped on a favorite movie & treated my 'whine' with wine (sparkling Shiraz) 🍷😊

Today, clear skies & clearer thoughts too.

I am now done with the nonsense. 100% DONE.

I HAD been well stepped back.

I CHOOSE to step in, just this time, (as it was Christmas time) BUT stayed neutral (no push to stay home or transfer to ER). I left that up to the Paramedics.

Literally stepped back in the door after seeing the ambo crew out, to find LO calling for help. Now stuck in bathroom. Had walked in with a walker, somehow closed the door behind but now unable to open the door coming out.

I tried to respond calmly while the calling out to open the door became angrier.

Was very tempted to just quietly leave.. await LO to work it out but I didn't want my actions (or lack of) to cause another fall. I was there (this time) so I opened the door.

I will not even do that again.
I have decided to not visit alone again. Done.
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Thanks, Alva.
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My husband had some as well and highly treatable, regularly checked and so far all good.
But with Parkinson’s we learned levodopa increases melanin, which in turn increases risks of skin cancer.
I am grateful for good days and then good weeks, months and so on.
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Oh, Need, so sorry to hear about this woe for your other brother now.
And to hear of the "spot of bother" on your leg. Those are usually highly treatable, and yeah, sun damage and shows up with age. My bro had SOOOOO many of those, and as he had terribly thin hair and was a sun lover, many on his scalp in latter years. And yeah, he just had to keep after them. Southern California boy, don't you know.
You take care and just keep getting checked as they recommend.
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NHWM,
I just read about your cancer. So sorry, but it will be OK.
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I bought a wide brimmed cloth hat with a string under my chin that I can tighten . The wind always blows hats off of me .🥺.
I recently had a pre cancerous spot on my cheek that the dermatologist gave me cream to put on for a couple of weeks . Very common these days .
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Need: You're welcome.
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Thanks, Llama

I appreciate it.
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Need: I am sorry about your brother's diagnosis. Hugs.💛
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Beatty,

Do bucket hats fit smaller heads better? I may have to look at those.

One of the reasons I watched Downton Abbey was for the fashion! I am predominantly British. Maybe that’s why I am so fond of the way hats look!

I even wondered if I could buy a hat in a larger child’s size. They make children’s fashion so grown up now. A lot of children’s attire is just mini versions of adult styles.

Our children’s clothing was juvenile looking. Not today!
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I love hats too! But they mostly always too big for me too 😞.

But I perservere & keep buying them.. last summer bought a casual bucket hat for walks, a smart wide brim for dinner out & a terry cloth retro beach hat. Now I just need to leave the house & go somewhere.. 😆

Where I live, some form of skin cancer being dx before age 70 is now 2 in 3. The fairer you are, the higher your risk. My Doctor told me Gingers have 3 in 3 risk. (But luckily many are very slow growing & very treatable).

My gen used to tan in baby oil too! Or coconut oil. But then we became enlightened. My kids gen were slathered in so much sunscreen they started lacking vitimin D.

Finding a male farmer or other outdoor worker over 70 with both his ears intact here is becoming very rare indeed.
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"My brother doesn't go for any holidays, so I have to go" - No you don't 'have to go'. In fact, don't go.
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Golden,

I have a hard time finding hats to fit. They are too big for my head. I happened to find one shopping with my daughter a while ago in Whole Foods of all places. It’s a size small and fits pretty well. They didn’t have an extra small. I don’t know if they make that size.

I wish they had more hats in smaller sizes for women. I try them on and they swallow my head. Other people try them on and they look adorable on them.

It’s a hat for gardening or just being out in the sun.

My husband wears a baseball cap. We take the my daughter’s dog out to the dog park a lot. He always puts his hat on.

My dermatologist said that sun damage is very common on the face.

When I tanned I would lay on my back and my stomach so I exposed all of my skin to sun damage.
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Need - Sun damage is what R and his mother have/had. I think it is common among farmers. I encourage him to keep slathering on the sunscreen and to wear a hat to shade his face. His cancers have been on his face mainly - especially on the side that gets the rays when he is driving truck or whatever. He doesn't have to go back for six months now.

I gather for skin health sun burns are to be avoided. As a teen, tanning was the thing to do. I have fair skin and burn easily so I stay out of the sun though I did get a few good sunburns as a kid just from playing outside.
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It’s interesting how some of us love the sun and others don’t. When my husband and I were younger and went on picnics in the park. He liked the shade. I liked the sun. I would put the picnic blanket half in the shade and half in the sun.
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