I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Thanks. I have spent a lot of time outdoors.
The dermatologist said that my cancer is caused by sun damage to my skin. It is common and that it will most likely recur in other areas of my body.
It’s not supposed to be an aggressive form of cancer and is treatable
Plus, instead of going to the dermatologist for an annual evaluation. I will have to go back more often, she recommended that I go every three months.
I have to admit that I was ignorant in my youth about sun exposure. As a teenager I wanted my tan.
I loved laying out to get a tan. I remember the little old lady next door saying to me, “Honey, you’re going to have wrinkles when you get older if you keep laying out in the sun.” I told her, “I don’t care if I have wrinkles when I am old. I want to look good now!”
Typical teenage girl, right? I was so foolish. My friends and I would fry ourselves with baby oil out in the sun. Plus, I was an avid cyclist. I rode for miles and miles and miles out in the sun without bothering to apply sunscreen.
I did learn to do better. I did apply sunscreen on my kids.
My dermatologist said that we damage our skin when we tan. I am going to be more vigilant about applying sunscreen and wear a hat when I am outside for longer periods of time. I can’t count the times when I got sunburned going to our outdoor jazz festival.
I appreciate your kindness and support.
Try to relax and find some peace in this season. You never know what life will bring you.
I'll say extra prayers for you tonight.
Uh Oh isn’t any better than Oooooops! 😝
You sound like my mom. She had all of us in less than an hour! All my brothers were born in the same hospital. For some reason my mom went to a different hospital with me.
The doctor went to the same hospital where all my brothers were born. By the time he showed up at the hospital where mom was, the nurse had already delivered me! More proof of nurses doing most of the doctor’s work!
My cousin who is a nurse in anesthesiology, says that they do most of the work. The anesthesiologist shows up at the end and they get paid the big bucks!
Oh no ! Geez , flipping the baby by accident ??
When I was in labor with my first , the nurse came in and I told her I felt like I had to push. She said “No Way , not yet , you haven’t been here that long “.
Then she checked me and said “ Uh Oh !”
I said “ Uh Oh ? What Uh oh ? “. She said “ you are ready to push but don’t because I have to call the doctor ( at home ) to come in “ .
I had the next kid by appt . I had short labors , and little babies just over 6 lbs each .
I couldn’t imagine 14 hours .😬
My husband is a much better patient than I am. He’s Mr. Chill.
I try to be relaxed but I don’t always succeed. Some situations are impossible to be relaxed.
I had an emergency c-section. I was in labor for 14 hours and I was completely miserable.
The doctor finally showed up. The nurses were wonderful! Anyway, he examines me and says, “Ooooops!” I lost it! 😆
I screamed at him, “Why the hell did you say, ‘Oooooops?’ He said, “Well, I accidentally flipped the baby when I was checking the position of the baby. So, now the baby is breech and we are going to have to do an emergency c-section.”
My husband had the nerve to say that I was rude to the doctor. I told my husband that if he was in my situation he would be frazzled too! I had fever, my BP was up, I was ready to have the baby! I gained a ton of weight with my pregnancy. I was horribly uncomfortable!
I hope your brother has good results from his meds.
I hope your treatment is successful as well.
((((Hugs)))))
Holidays can be difficult times for caregivers . (((Hugs)))
Don’t go, if you’re going to be miserable. Or make your visit very brief if you do go.
I don’t know why I told you that this wasn’t my brother who had the stroke recently. He has had so many complications, my other brothers too. Being upset earlier, I couldn’t think straight.
Yes. this is the same brother. For some reason I was thinking about my other younger brother who lives near me that had a tumor removed a while back. He’s doing better.
They both have been in and out of the hospital with various issues. Three of my brothers have had major heart surgeries.
I think you are right. He has hired caregivers in the past to help him. He is most likely going to have to do this again.
He really struggled with his cancer treatments. Honestly, his doctors were shocked that he survived. He also has heart disease and suffered a stroke. He isn’t good about following his diabetes diet or heart diet.
He was on a ventilator with Covid but he got Covid before there was even a vaccine. D.C. was one of the hot spots for Covid.
You've been on this forum for some time now so you know that it's critical he gets his legal ducks in a row. His Will is not the priority, although I'm sure it seems that way to him right now. Along with your loving support, you're in an excellent position to provide really useful guidance to him.
He may need a system or person to help him remember to take his meds so he gets the most out of it. I tried doing this over the phone with my MIL (she lived 6 miles away), but even talking her through the steps on the phone I discovered it wasn't effective: I'd get to her house only to find the meds scattered on her dining room table. She was telling me she took them but hadn't. So, encourage him to set up a fool-proof system for taking his meds.
May you gain peace in your heart over this news, and your skin cancer.
So sorry. Hopefully right meds will keep him well.
Friends Mom lives fairly good life with Alzheimer for close to 20 years. And she is in her late 80s, still does everything except for using oven, stove.
I didn’t exactly know what to say to him when I spoke with him earlier. He was trying to sort through his emotions and I didn’t want to pressure him into any decisions at that particular moment.
He’s only 62 years old. My godmother got Alzheimer’s disease much later in her life. Is it worse if a person gets it younger?
It’s been rough for him for a while now. Cancer has been in remission. He has struggled with heart disease. He is participating in the study at NYU for long term Covid.
Plus, we are all grieving the loss of our older brother who died recently.
I went to the dermatologist earlier in the month to have her look at some moles that I was concerned about. The moles are fine but she found something on the back of my calf that she sent off for a biopsy. My doctor called just before my brother did saying it is cancer.
My dermatologist said that it is treatable and will discuss my treatment options early next month. It has been an upsetting day for me.
I keep thinking about my godmother who had Alzheimer’s disease. When her Alzheimer’s disease progressed she didn’t even know who I was when I went to see her in her nursing home. I can’t stand thinking about my brother becoming like that.
He came in town for our brother’s celebration of life. I haven’t been to D.C. recently. I used to visit him more when he was living in Manhattan because I love NY. We have a lot of wonderful memories together from when he lived in NY.
Thanks, Pam.
I appreciate your kind words.
Would he consider you or your DH, or maybe one of your daughters POA?
No, different brother. I know that he was looking at facilities in D.C. He loves NY too. He has many friends in both NY and D.C.
I’m bummed. 🙁 I don’t know anything about the drug they prescribed for him. I am not up for reading about it at the moment. I think I am going to take a walk. I need to get some fresh air for a bit and let this news sink in.
I feel like I am going to start crying. I just lost my older brother and I am sure that is making this news so much harder for me to deal with. It’s been a tough holiday season for me.
Thanks, sp.
I’ll talk later about it. I am going out for a bit.
It is true you never know what life is going to throw at us. That is why I try and be grateful for all the simple and boring day to day things because tomorrow who knows that storms could be just on the horizon.
so sorry to hear about your brother . Would he be looking to move closer to you or stay in D.C?
Is this the same brother that had a stroke not too long ago ?
He’s has been through quite a lot regarding his health, colon cancer, heart surgeries, long covid, diabetes, etc.
Anyway, his doctor has diagnosed him with Alzheimer’s disease and has prescribed a drug called Namenda. I certainly hope that it will help him.
He’s single. Never married. I don’t get to see him as often as I would like. He moved to NY right after graduating college and then to D.C. We talk on the phone all the time.
His doctor told him to start bringing someone with him to his doctor’s appointments. Apparently, they prescribed these meds for him earlier and he said that he didn’t remember it.
His doctor asked him to stop driving because he has started getting lost. In fact, the doctor doesn’t want him to travel anymore.
I asked him if he had assigned anyone to be his medical power of attorney. He said that he hadn’t but needs to do so.
One thing that we share is a passion for cooking. He’s a wonderful cook. I am concerned about how he will be.
He had to take a leave of absence from his work. He worked insane hours as an investment banker. He isn’t going to be able to work anymore, which I know hurts him.
He has started researching assisted living and memory care facilities. He owns many properties all over the world so he can sell them and live in a nice facility when that time comes.
I was so hoping that he would not receive a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease.
We never know what is in store for our future. He has travelled all over the world. His life is going to change drastically. I’m very sad for him and have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach right now. 😞
He is looking over his will. He is thinking about what charities that he wants to leave the bulk of his money to.
Frustrating because I took care of him for 10 years on my own in my house but as usual, I am always wrong.
I try to avoid her as anytime I call it is never good enough, I have never treated her bad in my lifetime, she has always lorded over me. I figured when mom died, she would be a little nicer, when my brother died, she just yelled at me Infront of everyone at the funeral.
I have had to manage all dads finance, placement, funding his final expenses, manage his monthly expenses deal with the social services and people at the home and take the calls when he falls. She pops in and brings snacks to him. I thought my BP would lower when he went to a NH but still the same. Will see what kind of cheap refurbished phone she gets him this time. She complains that she has to pay for it. I keep my mouth shut that dad could buy one but Ill let her deal with it since I will be wrong anyway. The last time she bought him a cheap phone was a flip phone which mysteriously got lost at the hospital when he was with her for a few weeks and he had to go back to his old i phone he was used to. Trying to explain it is too old but what do I know.
Dealing with family sucks.
I love watching people do Tai Chi. I remember seeing a group of people doing Tai Chi in Golden Gate Park and watching how fluid and beautiful the movements were.
San Francisco is a beautiful city. I have always enjoyed visiting your area.
Proof positive that older folks falls, no matter what!