I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
My husband’s MRI was delayed because of not getting approval from his insurance company.
The doctor contacted his insurance company and it is now approved for him to get his MRI.
Keep us in your thoughts and prayers please for everything to go well.
Thanks 😊!
She said be careful you don’t slip and fall out there…if you do I will be in here all by myself with no one taking care of me. For a split second I thought she was concerned about me. She not. At all. It’s all about her.
Thanks, I was not aware of that fact which certainly sheds a whole new light on the issue.
My gosh, therapy is definitely in order then.
I would hope that Blickbob would try to get to the bottom of why he is sticking around instead of living his own life.
Just letting you know.
You have a lot on your plate. Your profile says that you are caring for your mother who has cancer.
I’m sure that you’re having a difficult time managing everything.
It’s even harder to serve your mother when she is critical of your actions. Your efforts deserve to be appreciated.
I feel that going to an unbiased therapist to discuss your situation would help you to understand your behavior and your mother’s behavior.
You have been conditioned to please your mother in all circumstances. I don’t think you realize that your feelings are equally important as your mom’s feelings.
Start thinking about what is important to you.
You may have dreams that you wish to fulfill or you may need to think about what you would like to accomplish in your life.
Best wishes to you.
And the same comment to all the people who post on a site where everyone's situation gets totally difficult to follow!
With the receptionist story, she noted that her boss called her and told her he was going to do something he never did. She feared she was about to get fired, but she was given a raise. A part of me wishes I would get a pay raise since I get paid absolutely nothing. A part of me also wishes I could get fired from this job and I almost wanted to tell her that. If I was a hired caregiver, she probably would've gotten rid of me sometime in the last 2-3 years. There have been moments where I wanted to tell her "if you don't like what I'm doing, get someone else to help you."
She told me one day I'm going to have a job and I'll be juggling more than putting a few things in the refrigerator and getting other groceries put up. I almost wanted to tell her that until she gets serious about getting better, I'm not going to be able to find a job, let alone be able to go to work. She's the one keeping the caregiver gap going and I'll be lucky if I can get an interview with McDonalds when this caregiving saga finally ends. She noted how she wasn't feeling good today and is struggling to get better. I wanted to tell her that without PT, she's going to keep struggling. She'll never ditch the all diet and no exercise strategy. And if I tell her the truth, she'll resist and get emotional.
I agreed with a viral post a FB friend shared last month about how difficult it is raising his mother who won't listen and the friend wanting to...umm...let's just say discipline her if it were possible, even though he said he was kidding about the discipline part.
Several years ago, just before she was diagnosed with cancer, she told me "anger held within leads to depression." And yet, I've been forced to hold mine in. She would talk about seeing things from the other person's perspective, but she won't see things from my perspective. She told me "no one's helping us," but she prefers it that way and refuses to get extra help, believing that no honest caregivers exist. I visited with my godmother recently and she told me "she's stealing your life" and that I should be working and partying instead. She once suggested to my mom she exercise and she got mad and went after her in response. She's known my godmother since they were both kids.
Hope that you sleep well tonight. Good for you for keeping up with your exercise classes!
We went to the cemetery today to bring flowers and afterwards we took our daughter’s dog and her friend’s dog that she is dog sitting for on a long walk! So, we got plenty of exercise today too.
Yep, hanging in limbo. Really sad all around.
Exactly, she still does all her ADLs .
Her brain is wacky though . Nephew started turning the circuit breaker off to the stove each night after dinner and leaving it off and when he’s at work until he needed to use it
I think nephew is trying to get her to rehab to see if her mind gets clearer and bring her home . The issue is I believe she will still need supervision when he is at work even if she got back to where she was (cognitively based on how he described how she was ) just prior to this surgery.
They are saying she doesn’t need rehab , she walks with her walker etc . Sis has said she is willing to go to rehab . The hospital is saying there is no medical reason and she will be discharged . We are pushing for rehab for now as nephew can’t be home with her during the day . She is still experiencing delirium as well . She does belong in AL , no money for it and she is not in need of SNF . I believe she will need supervision at home while nephew is at work . He’s hoping rehab will give her time to improve from the delirium . He’s between a rock and a hard place . I will tell him today will need to see what help there may be from his county . But I’m not optimistic . They live in a rural area about an hour or so from me . I doubt adult day care is available or supervision coming into the home . I will advise him to reach out to social worker and his county agency for aging .
But most telling of all is that nephew has admitted to you that putting all this puzzle together now is bringing to his mind things he knew/saw, and just wouldn't see.
I well remember when my brother's neighbor cradled him in her arms waiting for the ambulance to take him to hospital after smashing his truck back and forth between a large palm tree and the refuse containers. He kept telling her "I knew something was wrong. I knew something was wrong". He later told me so many things he had hidden and ignored. His accident was the beginning of his diagnosis with probable early Lewy's Dementia (diagnosed by his symptoms).
Thinking of you, Way. I don't come to discussions often, so this was a catch up on your situation for me and I am so sorry.
The PA who called my nephew trying to discharge sis said that her delirium was gone and getting her out of the hospital environment is best . She said there is no medical reason to keep her in the hospital or for her to go to rehab but she would need 24/7 supervision at home . She was assuming my nephew could provide that . Seroquel is a drug that they use for delirium . They say she doesn’t need PT . My nephew told the PA about the wacky phone calls we were receiving from sis today and she backpedaled and acknowledged , well there were some things today , but getting her home out of the hospital environment would help and then kept repeating that there is no medical reason to keep her as my nephew explained to her what happened last spring when she had metabolic encephalopathy and delirium so bad he had to call 911 . Yes , she is exactly 10 years older than me . I was born on her birthday . She’s a bad 68 , she’s more like an 80 year old at least.
I agree , a lot of it is fear . My sister has had bad reactions to meds in the past .