Over the last 15 years I've been a care giver for my elderly father who had dementia until he passed away a few years ago and I'm the sole care giver for my elderly mother who has dementia. Father God has been most kind to me blessing me mentally and physically for all of these years.
During this experience in care giving for my parents I must say that if I ever could not care for myself, that I would never want to be a burden upon my child or anyone else. I would rather die with dignity than being a demented shell of my former self ripping off diapers or throwing body waste at the walls. I say this because my elderly mother does just that. I spend so many early morning hours greeted with the smells of urine or solid waste as I try cleaning it off her and off the bed or wall where she sometimes throws it.
I just would never want to be such a burden on others. Am I the only one here at Aging care.com that feels this way?
Your situation sounds horrific and I am sorry that you are in this situation . Who would ever want to be such a burden on others especially their children. Have you ever thought that you have done everything possible for your mother and it may be time to consider alternative caregiving arrangements?. (My Dad is now in a nursing home, yes their are some good ones out there, where trained professsionals are caring for his needs. I took care of my Dad as long as I could but being at home is no longer a safe and viable option.) I hope this post