On My Mind

I just heard that my BIL was out and about again today. WTF😖

cwille,

Crazy. I agree, it isn’t a good idea. Just stay home.

I went by theAL this evening. TLked to them thru the window.They were satisfied with dinner. No complaints. My husband is the nursing home physician. He had done their check in exams. They thought that was funny because they had seen him at breakfast. Dad had been reading and mom knitting. SAme as they would have been doing at home.

My husband got asked to work some evening shifts at the local ER. So he’s at the ER until midnight. He took his own gear in case the hospital was running short. Left me with instructions to wear a mask to the assisted living or anywhere else

My husband went from ER in WV to New Orleans because of doctor shortages. He’s coming home. He turned in his retirement papers and is coming home. I’m glad. I didn’t want him working in a hot spot. He has a cardiac problem and I don’t want him kin a hot spot. He’s spent all his career going to different disasters. It’s time for him to stay home.

I sat on the porch with my parents this evening. They’re getting settled. They know several people who live there. Mom likes having breakfast in her room. Dad likes their music hour. He likes to sing. He sang in the church choir for years. I think they’re handling things better than me.

Bridger
Hugs to you and your sweet parents. I’m glad your DH is coming home. That will help.

My husband made it back from New Orleans. Fourteen day quarantine then retested. I visited my mom and dad thru the window last night at assisted living. My brother and both of my sons had visited yesterday. So, far so,good. I stopped by their house ‘to check on things. I’m selfish. I want them back living there and healthy. But I know it’s not going to happen. My oldest son is getting married in June. He and his fiancé are finishing law school. They are buying the house. So I’m getting it cleaned out. Sixty seven years of stuff. They’re not hoarders, but they have lots of stuff. I finally lured my mom’s cat out with treats and brought it to my house. She’s old, almost blind and has arthritis. I heated her bed with a heating pad. Took it out and put her in. She seemed to enjoy the added warmth.
..

When I was out getting my 10,000 steps today I saw the parking lot of my little grocery was empty so I veered in and grabbed a few little things that would be easy to carry home - bananas, celery, asparagus, naan, popcorn, and a bag of sugar (heavy yes, but it was on sale!), I'll need to take my car when I decide to go out to get milk, eggs, yogurt, maybe a bag of oranges and anything else I'm running low on. I'm trying to walk the line between total denial (my BIL) and out of control paranoia, I did wash most of my groceries when I got home but how in the world would I sanitize asparagus spears? And I refuse to disinfect my shoes, it's gotta be enough to take them off at the door - it's not like I'm wandering through the ER or live in a hot spot.
A sign that these restrictions are starting to chafe is that I find myself rebelling in petty little ways - I crossed on a red light at the totally deserted intersection 🤣

This poem was written by Kathleen O'Mara in 1869 and then it was reprinted during the Spanish Flu Pandemic in 1919.
It's on my mind~


And people stayed home
And read books
And they rested
And did exercises
And made art and played
And learned new ways of being
And stopped and listened
More deeply.
Someone meditated,someone prayed
Someone saw their shadow
And people began to think differently
And people healed
And in the absence of people who
Lived in ignorant ways
Dangerous,meaningless,heartless,
The earth also began to heal
And when the danger ended and
People found themselves
They grieved for the dead
And made new choices
And dreamed of new visions
And created new ways of living
And completely healed the earth
Just as they were healed

Luckylu,

What a beautiful poem! Thanks so much for sharing this. 💗

luckylu: That is such a lovely poem. Thank you for posting. 💞

I cried yesterday for my loss childhood and all the years I have lost.
I cried yesterday for the lost of my father and wonder how am I going to live without him?
I cried yesterday for those who live alone and are lonely.
I cried for those who are with family and yet, feel lonely.
I cried yesterday for all those who are lost without a purpose.
And those who are stuck in the shadows.
I cried for the motherless and for those who had mothers with no love.
I cried yesterday for those who had loving parents that passed on and it broke their hearts.
I cried for those who go hungry night after night.
I cried yesterday for all of those who put their lives endanger to save others.
I cried for those who have lost loved ones and for those who can't see their loved ones.
I cried yesterday for the lost of the old world and I cried for the new world we all live in.
I cried for those who are in isolation and those who wish they were.
I cried yesterday for all those who lost their lives to never be seen again.
I cried for you and me, so please don't cry. I cried enough with my broken heart.
I cried!

((((((shell)))))) beautifully written. I have cried too. 💔💔💔

Shell,

I have too. I have cried a river. What you wrote is so relatable! Yeah, I call it, “What could have been.” Their loss. No, everyone’s loss but that doesn’t mean that we feel only ‘a loss’ forever. What we do have, we just might cherish a little bit more than others that haven’t had our losses because we don’t take things for granted.

Did I explain that correctly? Do you feel that way too? You have someone special in your life. You appreciate him. I know that you don’t take him for granted.

Just like I appreciate the special people in my life.

Thank you Golden. I wrote it yesterday...not sure why...the words just came out!☺

Hugs Golden 😺


NHWM,
Yes I do feel that way! My dad always told me that I was born to sensitive and he was afraid that this world would eat me alive! But it didn't and won't. I am strong as you are😜 Thank you!!

Hugs!!🐹

Hey Shell..........quit crying dude!

Love you!!!

Dudette!

Hugs back to you , Shell. Hugs for everyone during these tough times.

Gershun,

LOL..Well now, I have to stop crying! That's right I am a dudette! LOL


Love you right back:)😜

shell - you wrote it because you are grieving. The circumstances we have been forced into by the covid result in losses to each one of us. Grieving a loss brings up past losses and it can get a bit overwhelming. Tears and writing are good and will help you get through this. ((((((hugs))))) 🙏🙏🙏

Did anyone notice?
The ON MY MIND thread has passed 1000 comments!
Thank you CM for starting this thread! 🏅

Shell, I'm glad you took my comment in the way it was intended and that was to make you smile. I think crying is a good thing. I used to be a big bawler and people in my family would make fun of me for it so then I learned to keep my emotions inside which was unhealthy. Now I'm somewhere in the middle. Wouldn't you know I would marry a man who thinks crying is weak and rather than comfort me if I cry, instead he gets angry. So now if I feel a weep coming on I lock myself in the bathroom or wait till he's not home.

This weird world we now find ourselves in is cause enough for crying and then on top of that there are the usual stresses that have to get pushed down to make room for this new one. I get through it with humor so if I sometimes make inappropriate remarks please forgive. It's just how I cope.

These times are definitely triggering emotional wounds for me. I am struggling a bit too.

Shell, I journal too. My therapist told me to journal. I never let anyone read it. It’s very private. Once my mom saw my journal on my table and picked it up to read. I felt so violated. I was hurt and angry.

She got mad about what I wrote. I told her that she should have never read my journal and those were my private feelings that weren’t meant to be shared. She didn’t understand. Oh well...

I do not understand the stupidity of this county and the people that live in it. Easter is this Sunday. Traditionally, county parks (large parks out in the county, in rural areas with lots of open space)....become very crowded on Easter Sunday. Huge Easter gatherings. The county put out a notice on Thursday night saying that rangers will be out in force Easter weekend, that there will be no social gatherings, no BBQ’ing, no coolers or ice chests.

Stupidity #1 is that apparently there are a lot of people here who don’t know the difference between the city & county and thought all parks were closed because the city (which is named differently) closed city parks 2 weeks ago because people weren’t social distancing and they were letting their kids play on the play grounds. County parks have remained open because we are allowed to hike and go for walks.

Stupidity number 2 is that these people who don’t know the difference between the city and county, read the notice and thought the county was RE-OPENING all the parks specifically for Easter weekend!! And that they were encouraging people to come out for Easter! It went viral on our local social media pages.....

stupidity number 3 is that the notice was very badly written and should have stated that county parks have been open through out the shelter-in-place order and that they would remain open Easter weekend but that the shelter in place rules would be strictly enforced and social gathering is absolutely not allowed. Like they should have said it point blank in plain English. So people were very angry and saying that people will flock to the parks if they are open. they demanding the county “rethink their decision to re-open the parks”. Remember though, the parks were never closed to begin with. And people have been using the parks daily. The trails have been packed.

Stupidity number 4 is that due to the outcry over “re-opening the parks for Easter” the county decided, today, that they will close the parks for Easter weekend. Now.....most people are home every day. Everything except grocery stores, gas stations and take-out food is shut down and the week before the county even put stricter rules in place and employers have to let their employees work from home. So basically....most people are home. So the parks will be closed on Easter Sunday but they will re-open Monday morning and there is absolutely nothing to stop people moving their Easter celebration to Monday...or any other day after Sunday. I cannot for the life of me, figure out why all the outraged people didn’t think about that? Why they didn’t demand the county close the parks until the SIP is over? Not that I think they should be closed. It just makes absolutely no sense to close the parks for the holiday when....every day is a holiday! And none of these people who flock to the parks on Easter, are actually celebrating Easter for what it is. So it’s not like they HAVE to celebrate on Easter Sunday. It’s simply a big social event. Like cinco de mayo. They aren’t going to church in the morning and then heading to the park. You have to get to the park very very early in order to get a spot. We did it one year with my husbands cousin and it was awful. 2 of the cousins had to get to the park at 6am to get a spot. It took us an hour just to go from the highway exit (it’s right off the highway) to the park entrance and then 30 minutes to park the car! Never again! So yeah....I just don’t get it.

Yesterday I was reminded that stores would be closed Fri and Sun so I got going early to to to the big supermarket here this morning. I hoped to resupply some staples because it's been over a month since I did a big shop and I'm running low on frozen fruits and veggies. No luck. I do still have most of a head of cabbage, some carrots and onions and that celery I picked up the other day, plus I still have a couple of bags of diced peppers I froze last Fall so it's not as though I'm going to be nutrient deprived, I was just hoping to add a little variety. I can't help but scold myself for being disappointed, this is such a first world problem.

Gershun,

Isn't that how life goes? We end up with a partner that has that one trait that...well isn't so great...just that one thing we need and they don't have! I don't think crying is weak...my dad always told me that it was, but one day, I was working as a server and this--what seem at the time a very old lady (I was in my teens) told me that crying was a way for the body and soul to be cleaned. "Out with the old to make room for the new!" I don't remember what the conversation was about, but I do remember her face and those words. I wish your hubby was more empathic to your emotional needs and I wish mine would cook!!

Of course, I took your comment the way I did! I have never read anything you post as mean or disrespectful. You are one of the great ones on this forum and you are funny as well! Hugs😺



NHWM,

It's not like these times are making me emotional...it is just making me think more. In truth, I think the world has already change when we left the 90's, and not for the good! Just my opinion! People have stop being human a long time ago and just maybe after or during this we will learn to be human again!

My mother has read my journals in the past and she still goes through my things to this day. I always feel violate, but she has been doing it my whole life I just never knew it! It sucks, I keep most of my stuff locked up...our mothers will never understand! Hugs🐕


Worried,

You are right most people that celebrate Easter do not celebrated it for the real reason my family never did. So yeah, they can just move their party on a different day. But you can't fix stupid!🐹


Cwilly,

Don't beat yourself up to much! Of course, you were disappointed that you couldn't get what you wanted, but you will! You are very resourceful! Stop scolding yourself! Hugs🐧

Thank-you Shell.

This whole covid thing has me feeling mixed emotions. On the one hand I hate that people are sick and dying and how the economy is taking such a hit. That's a given. Then there are the acts of kindness that are inspiring.
I can't help thinking that the people doing these acts of kindness are probably the same ones who will always be there when you need them. That is what kind people do. Then there are the selfish lowlifes who always take advantage and hoard and use this situation to be the scum they always have been.

While I hope that people learn something from this the cynical side of me thinks that good people will continue to be good and the bad will just carry on as usual after this is all over. I hope I'm wrong.

If we are to save our sanity, taking a break from the news will go a long ways....

My SO is watching the news for about 2 to 3 hrs! Sigh! It is so depressing. I will watch a little bit, but then I go to do some house work or something. I just can't watch the news that much even if really nothing much is going on...it is to negative! And this is over the top!(

I hear that!

Yeah!!! Was able to get some appropriate hair colour on line, although it is not coming till May. By then I may be ready to let it grow out! Nice to have a choice anyway. 😊

I never watch the news. I read newspaper articles and that way I can choose what "goes in." News people are having a hey day!