Countrymouse Posted November 2018
On My Mind
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Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.
I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.
I don't wish to be a burden, a dead weight to my spouse and children. I don't want my kids to come to forums like this one asking questions like:
--How to entertain a blind 90 y.o.?
--How to change diaper for a combative mother?
--Alz. mother can't take care of herself, insists on living at home, what to do?
--Knee or hip surgery for an 85 yr.o. deaf, blind, and incontinent. Advice?
And many more questions, just as disturbing, burdensome, and revolting. To me, there is no dignity in being alive (not living) like that.
Death, I KNOW (not think or believe), is not the end, but a transition to a different state of being. So, in search of what to write in my Advance Directive, I came across this AC article with a sample Advance Directive list which I find very useful and seems like just what I am looking for. Thought I share the link to that article here.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/creating-vsed-advance-directive-dementia-179476.htm
Once I have this taken care of, I will feel relieved knowing things will be taken care of as I wish without overburdening my spouse and children. That will be my best gift to them.
Ever since the pandemic and my mom nearly dying in April, I've been thinking a lot about getting all the necessary forms filled out even though I'm only 58 and my husband is 56. Especially, since my husband and I don't have any children and I have no siblings. He has two but, they are 5 and 12 years older than him and don't communicate with us unless there's a crisis so we're on our own.
So thank you for the info!
YOU are a lovely mom!
If I were one of your kids, I would be proud to call you mom.
All of us need to face these issues. I have not done this myself and I do think about it. I have spoken about this with my husband. We have put it off, which is foolish.
Thanks for this important reminder! We should never take life for granted.
We get distracted with all sorts of things in life but we really shouldn’t let the most important things slide. Advanced directives are necessary these days.
I took care of these things for my mom. I neglected myself on many levels. Now that I am no longer caregiver to mom, I can’t blame her as an excuse for not preparing for myself.
I am sure that you will inspire many of us with your poignant thoughts.
Thanks!
The most IMPORTANT thing is that yorssigned person/agent/POA who will act when you cannot agrees to your wishes, and will defend your wishes. You should discuss with ALL family what your wishes are.
So you could tell family that if you are brain injured so that you are not yourself, then you would as soon not go on, and so on. They would understand best how to act for you then, and only use them if they will act for you.
My Kaiser doctor spent 1/2 hour with me discussing what I wanted. We together made out the POLST that hangs in my home so even EMT don't try to bring me back.
You can also say "I wish to live. I want all measures the medical community can provide to me to keep me alive, no matter the conditions and limitations I live with and under".
The medical community now tends not to make money on us when we are dying, so they are more ready than they used to be when a dying person was a vending machine for doctors. Overall they are more ready to hear "I am ready now to go".
So think about what you would want, if chronically ill, if in a terrible accident and paralyzed, if older. Whatever the imagination can give you. Then think what your would REALLY WANT for yourself. Family not the question here. YOU are the question.
Write your addendum letter and attach to copies of your Advanced directive after talking to the one you appoint your health care advocate/agent. Supply copy to your Doctor. Periodcially initial with your signature, the date, that these are still your wishes.
If time comes to address all this it will be there for the doctors to read, and for decisions to be made. One and done. Once you do it it is over.
Valuable information to be sure!
My husband’s company has those ‘Team’ meetings with 500 plus people around the world!
I know lots of people have struggled during COVID.
It’s horrible to see businesses failing and families struggling to make ends meet.
Believe it or not, there are some companies like the one that my husband works for that are thriving at this time.
Of course, a lot of their products are sold to hospitals all around the globe. Their sales have increased!
So, his company has online meetings with celebrations, toasting with a beer, cocktail, wine and so on. It’s kind of funny to see.
My husband just had two of his designs patented so he and his team celebrated again.
My husband doesn’t mind working remotely at all. At his level he pretty much sat in a conference room all day in meetings anyway.
They have the executive officer meetings online now.
He also has all of his engineering team members meetings online as well.
So they are planning to have their holiday parties online too! LOL
Of course, it’s a different vibe. Normally the celebration would be at a ‘fine dining’ restaurant but hey, we are in a PANDEMIC!
This will pass. One day it will be a distant memory!
The photos are absolutely precious of him playing in the snow!
My daughter seems to be loving the snow as well.
She is excited about snowboarding with her friend that lives in Vail.
Colorado is so beautiful. I haven’t been there since the girls were young, ages 4 and 11.
Now the youngest one lives in CO. We never know where our kids will live when they grow up.
The oldest one lived away for awhile too. She ended up moving back to New Orleans. She’s a ‘cat’ lover and has a couple of kitties. They are precious!
I wish I could see him in person.
Yes, he has those blue eyes that are beautiful!
My daughter has blue eyes too.
His tail is so fluffy! They are sort of wolf like.
She bought him toys and a couple of NylaBones from PetSmart.
I wonder how he will do when she has to work in her office. Right now she is working remotely.
She can take him on walks several times a day now. That will change when she goes to the office.
I bet a lot of animals will have to adjust to their owners going back to work.
LOL, hubby has brown eyes.
Yes, talking about my new grand puppy! He’s almost a year old.
He’s a cutie! My daughter loves him!
She says he does fine on his walks. He loves the snow! He gets along with other dogs in the neighborhood.
She’s hoping that she doesn’t see any cats in her path because huskies have a strong prey drive.
Patahome01
I had a friend who had a Husky. He had one blue eye and one brown eye. He didn't like the snow. I use to tease her about having a snow dog who doesn't like snow. But he sure did love his jellybeans. At Easter, she would keep a bowl of jellybeans on her coffee table and her dog would help himself to one jellybean and would walk around the house chew it just to end up back into the living room and take another jellybean. He would always leave the green one in the bowl. She would tell her guess, don't eat the jellybeans on the coffee table, they belong to my dog. I can't remember what was the green jellybeans?! Her dog didn't like pickels on his hamburgers either. Every time I got him a cheeseburger and forgot to ask for no pickel he would some how get the pickel out of the burger and leave it on the floor or the seat of the car.
Dam, I miss that dog. He was so loveable and sweet. In fact, after we stop being friends I missed her dog more than her! Sad but true!!
That’s funny. Your friend’s dog sounds cute! I have heard of some with one blue and one brown eye. Some people have one brown eye and one blue eye too.
I don’t have grandchildren but I always watched my daughter’s old dog when she went out of town and at other times too.
I joked with her calling her dog, a little poodle, my grand puppy! I missed him when he died. He had Cushing’s disease.
Now I have a husky for a grand puppy but since she moved far away, I only see photos. He tries to catch the snow on his tongue. She sent a video. It’s cute. Plus he loves playing in the snow.
That’s hysterical that your friend’s husky didn’t like the snow!
I used to give my dad father's day cards from my kitties. I actually found cards that say, "Happy Father's Day" and it would have on the front of the card a picture of cats or dogs and when you open it up it would state from your grand kitties or grand puppies. My dad just loved the cards.
Yup, my friend had a snow dog who didn't like snow and I have a snow kitty who doesn't like snow. That is what I get for teasing my friend about her dog!)
I hope you get to see your grand puppy!
I would like a card like that because our animals really are a part of our families.
Your dad sounds like my dad. My dad was so sweet.
Probably so. I do have blue eyes.
Some animals have hauntingly beautiful eyes, like the Siberian huskies. I think cats have gorgeous eyes, especially Siamese cats.
I just love Betty White!
Sophia is my favorite! What about you? Estelle Getty was precious.
Betty was Rose, Rue was Blanche. Bea was Dorothy. Betty is the only one living.
I took drama in high school. I would have loved to play a feisty character like Sophia! LOL
I have always loved Betty White. She was adorable with Mary Tyler Moore.
She was cute on Password and Match Game.
I used to watch The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Dick Van Dick, That Girl , Doris Day Show. Junk is on now, can't find anything good on any more. I do watch Andy of Mayberry and Gomer Pyle.
I love Andy Griffith! I think everyone should have an Aunt Bea!
Maude did have dry wit. She was funny. They all were.
You’re right. Some of the new shows are not interesting.
I watch a lot on PBS. I like Smithsonian and a few others.
I do love the old reruns. I used to like Bob Newhart too. I Love Lucy and Honeymooners were funny.
Dick Van Dyke was fantastic! I still love watching Mary Poppins! Julie Andrews is adorable.
I'll have to catch the Betty White story. It is hard to believe that she is still with us after we have lost so many good actors, singers, and comedian. I was just telling my sig-other that all great people (TV, Movies, and what not) that we grew up watching are retiring, dying off, or just getting old. It makes me sad to think how many we have lost and who will replace them "so to speak." They don't make movies or shows like they use too! That's for sure!
Betty White is 98! I think George Burns lived to 100!
Look at Roberta McCain. She died in October of this year at 108! My gosh! I can’t imagine living that long!